Why would a mother not call her grown children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom doesn't call often. On birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day (if I haven't called her first). Honestly that's about it.

We text daily, but neither of us are "phone people", and doesn't want to bother me when I'm busy with work, kids, etc. She says I'll call her when I have free time, which honestly is like once or twice a month.

We have a great relationship and this works for us.

Texting daily, yeah we're talking about no contact here. That sounds like a great, close relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know a mother who doesn't call her grown adult children? How could a mother could/would go years without calling her children? Good kids.

Sorry do you know anything else about her or her kids other family life when home?

She could be busy, there could have been estrangement (either side), a nasty divorce, mental disorders (either side), etc.

[Anonymous]

Because she's a narcissist and DGAF about you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

This is my MIL…EXCEPT she will text when she needs him to do something. Like texting orders. Why? Because she’s an AH.

Seriously, my in laws literally have no relationship with anyone, even each other. When you see them, they just run their mouths about how much everyone they know sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH’s mother has plenty of time to spend with her husband’s kids but doesn’t bother to call him and is short whenever he tries.

My mom is the same way. Her boyfriend's kids/grandkids are the priority. She will not see mine screaming covid but will fly out to their graduations, birthdays, etc. and has never been to a meet, party, graduation, or concert for mine. My kids don't care and she gets mad they don't respond or try to reach out for a relationship as they get tired of being rejected.

[Anonymous]

My mom called me every single day around dinnertime to discuss... nothing, maybe the weather.

I don't want to be needy or clingy, so I let my kids take the lead half the time. Fortunately we all text each other every few days, if nothing else to share funny memes. Then if someone mentions something serious or we want to meet up, we pick up the cellphone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know a mother who doesn't call her grown adult children? How could a mother could/would go years without calling her children? Good kids.

why haven’t her kids called her in years?

[Anonymous]

Kids probably hurt her and she’s trying to heal.

[Anonymous]

This is my mom - expects us to call her and she will not call us. even forgot to call me on my birthday.

She has never purchased gifts for my kids or called them on their birthdays either. If I post something on FB about their birthdays she will write a comment saying "HB Harlow - Judy (me) take $100 from my bank account for them" - I am an authorized signer on her account". She simply can't be bothered to put any effort in. But if I forget to call her, send a card or gift presents on her birthday, Mother's Day or holidays I get the riot act.

It's exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of older people didn’t call because it used to cost money to call long distance. Before and in the early days of cell phones, there was not flat pricing. So people didn’t call as much. So a 70 year old today was over 50 by the time today’s pricing plans existed. That’s a half century habit to break.

[Anonymous]

I let them call at their accord so I'm not intruding. I call if there is something urgent or if I've not seen a text from them in family thread for several days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids probably hurt her and she’s trying to heal.

Yeah right. She was this nice loving mom and they were so mean to her for no reason.

[Anonymous]

My mom hasn’t called or texted me in decades. My dad will call, and if it’s convenient for her she will pop into the FaceTime and say hi.

A couple days after I had major surgery last year I texted her and said “btw the surgery went well.” And she responded “Oh, good.” (She’s a nurse, too.)

I used to call more often but I don’t bother anymore because she DGAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is my mom - expects us to call her and she will not call us. even forgot to call me on my birthday.

She has never purchased gifts for my kids or called them on their birthdays either. If I post something on FB about their birthdays she will write a comment saying "HB Harlow - Judy (me) take $100 from my bank account for them" - I am an authorized signer on her account". She simply can't be bothered to put any effort in. But if I forget to call her, send a card or gift presents on her birthday, Mother's Day or holidays I get the riot act.

It's exhausting.

Whoa. This is my mom exactly. Is there a diagnosis for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.

This is my MIL…EXCEPT she will text when she needs him to do something. Like texting orders. Why? Because she’s an AH.

Seriously, my in laws literally have no relationship with anyone, even each other. When you see them, they just run their mouths about how much everyone they know sucks.

That’s my parents. They have no outside relationships and just sit in their recliners all day, watching TV and sneering at everyone else. They often talk about how smart they are and how stupid most other people are.