Were you ever investigated by CPS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’d think it takes A LOT for someone to be investigated.

No it doesn’t, at least for the one I know of. Their daughter told their teacher they hit her. Next thing you know, cps is setting up Meetings with all involved within the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All calls to cos must be investigated

At least one visit to the home

That's not true. Some are screened out immediately.

-mandatory reporter

Also a mandated reporter and confirming this.
I have made several reports over the years and only a few have been investigated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All calls to cos must be investigated

At least one visit to the home

Nope. I’m a teacher and have called CPS and they asked a bunch of questions. Apparently if a child has no visible injuries, it’s okay for their parents to hit them. The call ended and nothing further happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All calls to cos must be investigated

At least one visit to the home

That's not true. Some are screened out immediately.

-mandatory reporter

Also a mandated reporter and confirming this.
I have made several reports over the years and only a few have been investigated.

This depends on state law. MD and DC are very different in their CPS policies.

[Anonymous]

I've reported, only because I was visiting a house that was filth the woman's mother wouldn't even walk inside but she had 6 children in a 2 bedroom home. It made me sick.

[Anonymous]

Yes. One day I came home early and found my H smoking a joint around our infant while we was supposed to be taking care of her.

I ripped him a new one right then and there in the yard. I was beyond furious.

Neighbor who hated me overheard and called CPS. Of course as the mom, I was the one investigated. I explained the situation and told her she needed to talk to my H. She agreed that it wasn’t fair I was the one held accountable, and she did talk to him and put the fear of God in him.

The man has not touched pot, alcohol, or anything stronger than Tylenol since.

[Anonymous]

I have a child that has since been diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, but as an infant would severely bruise. Daycare reported us and the child was taken from our custody (bc she was like 6 months old) until they did a preliminary investigation. She was EBF and because I was a suspect I wasn’t allowed to Bf her for 2 days while she was away.

I was able to pull pediatrician records that we had taken her in several times for unusual bruising and present those as a defense.

All in all it was a traumatic experience and we were treated horribly and told to expect to never see our daughter again due to the things we did. Honestly the social worker assigned to us was just nasty and changed the story on what to expect/ when we could see our DD several times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a child that has since been diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, but as an infant would severely bruise. Daycare reported us and the child was taken from our custody (bc she was like 6 months old) until they did a preliminary investigation. She was EBF and because I was a suspect I wasn’t allowed to Bf her for 2 days while she was away.

I was able to pull pediatrician records that we had taken her in several times for unusual bruising and present those as a defense.

All in all it was a traumatic experience and we were treated horribly and told to expect to never see our daughter again due to the things we did. Honestly the social worker assigned to us was just nasty and changed the story on what to expect/ when we could see our DD several times.

how awful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was. I have no idea why, but there could have been many reasons—I was both abused and neglected. I deflected completely when interviewed. Ultimately no one did anything to help me.

I think a dentist tried to report my mom when I was a kid because of the signs of stress he saw in my teeth. I don't know if he went through with it or not. We changed dentists after he confronted my mom. I think if there'd been an investigation nothing would have come of it.

The thing is I was abused and neglected. I was hit regularly by both parents in anger and was afraid of my dad. I was also emotionally neglected (silent treatments and isolation for minor infractions like not cleaning my room or not eating what I was served for dinner). Screamed at daily. I remember being woken up in the middle of the night to do chores because my parents were angry the house wasn't clean. Just a really violent and home that didn't feel safe.

But I actually don't think anything my parents did would have been considered abuse by legal standards. I was fed and clothed and taken to school every day. When they hit us it was in the form of a spanking (though my dad used a belt regularly) or the kind of hit that would not show a mark. A lot of parents yell at their kids. I also know my parents would have persuasively argued that they didn't even do these things and I don't know that my siblings and I would have had it in us to contradict them. If we succeeded what do we win -- a foster care situation. I honestly think it was probably better for us to stay with our parents even though it sucked.

But as an adult I've been in therapy for years and have a lot of lasting effects of the abuse and neglect -- I have really low self esteem and have had suicidal ideation many times because I was told I was worthless and bad so much as a kid that it was really internalized. I have an overactive "freeze" response to stress or any kind of threat because that was the only way for me to handle the abuse as a kid (I'd just kind of mentally check out and be still and hope they didn't notice me or lost interest). A few years ago I was repeatedly sexually assaulted by a work supervisor and I just froze each time it happened and acted like it was fine because that's instinctually how I respond to an authority figure doing something to me. Like I just have a lot of mental health issues.

But it was basically legal. Because the courts will generally allow parents to do "corporal punishment" the hitting likely would not have risen to the level where my parents could be prosecuted even though I lived in fear of their rages. Some of the emotional abuse might have been an issue but it would have been their word against mine and I don't think people would have believed me. In fact one of the effects of the abuse is that I never think people will believe me and I have this idea that if I complain about abusive behavior (like that supervisor) people will assume I'm making it up or exaggerating.

I think this is how most child abuse works -- essentially legal because there is no way to enforce laws against it if it's below a certain threshold (generally kids showing up to school with visible injuries or going to the hospital with a severe injury). Both my parents had untreated mental illness (likely the result of their own abusive childhoods) and I guess I'm glad it never got bad enough that they maimed or killed me. But it was not a good childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was. I have no idea why, but there could have been many reasons—I was both abused and neglected. I deflected completely when interviewed. Ultimately no one did anything to help me.

Same. They came out more than once too. I remember once my mom stood behind the interviewer and mouthed hateful scary things at me, and I was terrified to say anything bad. And another time when the police stopped us on the street because people waved him down because she was dragging me through the road by my hair and beating me in public. Nothing came of that either. Oh the ways adults fail the neediest kids.

PP here.

Yep. I was failed countless times by adults who should have done something. No one ever did.

[Anonymous]

There was an NYT article a few years ago about a woman from Ohio or Illinois who was visiting her mother in McLean, VA, and left her 5-yr-old in a car for five minutes to grab a coffee, and some Karen told a nearby cop, who then questioned her. She was shocked when CPS knocking on her door months later over the incident. May have had her child taken from her temporarily, can’t remember. Also there was some other story I read about a mom in Western VA whose neighbors called CPS on her bc they thought she was letting her three kids play outside in their yard unattended. Authorities told her kids could not be unsupervised until they were 13. In their own yard. With their two other siblings. And parents watching through the window.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbors had CPS called on them and we’re all pretty sure because they’re gay. of course I guess there’s no way we’ll ever know but she bumped the bumper of a Trumpy neighbor and all hell broke loose and then CPS showed up a couple weeks later after the altercation involved questioning the parenting. (How do you even take care of a kid if you’re not paying attention to where you’re parking your car???) it was a doozy

[Anonymous]

No and I was lucky not to be. Baby had an injury that is a result of abuse more than half the time. A fluke accident in our case, but if we hadn’t been UMC white professionals?

[Anonymous]

We got a call from a case worker at the hospital because or older child was rough housing with or younger one and he fell and broke his arm. The younger one said he was pushed and then they had to investigate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. One day I came home early and found my H smoking a joint around our infant while we was supposed to be taking care of her.

I ripped him a new one right then and there in the yard. I was beyond furious.

Neighbor who hated me overheard and called CPS. Of course as the mom, I was the one investigated. I explained the situation and told her she needed to talk to my H. She agreed that it wasn’t fair I was the one held accountable, and she did talk to him and put the fear of God in him.

The man has not touched pot, alcohol, or anything stronger than Tylenol since.

The EX always says the neighbor called. — former divorce lawyer