Dating in 50s post divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

Only in the minds of sad miserable DCUM posters are women half your age competing for men your age.

Generally, middle aged divorced men date middle aged divorced women. None of us have “it” anymore. None of us have youth, youthful beauty or fertility anymore. And most middle aged divorced people realize this and have reasonable expectations as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

Only in the minds of sad miserable DCUM posters are women half your age competing for men your age.

Generally, middle aged divorced men date middle aged divorced women. None of us have “it” anymore. None of us have youth, youthful beauty or fertility anymore. And most middle aged divorced people realize this and have reasonable expectations as such.

For me heavily and happily involved with a woman five years my senior, I don’t see it in terms of reasonable or unreasonable expectations but simply chemistry…if the chemistry is right nothing else compares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

I’m a divorced woman who is dating. Never has a man been interested in me because of my job. They only seem to care about money insofar as my ability to pay every now and then when we go out/live the same lifestyle they do re types of restaurants, activities, vacations, etc.

In my experience, divorced men in their 50s want what everyone else wants - someone they are attracted to who they can spend time with and do stuff with. Sex stuff, fun stuff, etc. Its not hard, humans like companionship and having someone to share the ups and downs of life with.

The bitter divorcees posting on DCUM don’t reflect my experience in the dating world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They are all broke and/or cheap for various reasons
2. Lots of mental illness, addiction, alcohol, codependency, recovery
3. Children who are “off”/dealbreakers
4. Any moneyed ones were divorced (maybe more than once) for important reasons they do not acknowledge
5. Even the good ones will require a major compromise or two.

Money, looks, good personality: pick two.

Lol so true. I gave up money because I make my own.

Guy here. Glad to hear this. I'd like to think I'm decent looking with a decent personality. But I'm a teacher.

I don't have money problems. I just don't casually make $400K like most people on here claim to.

Oh yeah this area is ridiculous. I cared about finding someone who was passionate about their profession — whatever it was. I think there are many women like me who can support themselves and just want to find a decent human. Honestly after my divorce from a high earner I’ve been turned off by those types of guys —perhaps unfairly—/but a lot of them are douches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

While I don’t agree with all of your reasoning, having been dumped at 52 after 22 years of marriage, I am not inclined to get back out there. I have younger kids than most my age and they need my full focus. If I happen to meet someone the old fashioned way, that’s great, but apps aren’t going to be kind to me and my ego has been through enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

We appreciate your concerns. Thank you for your contribution to this topic.

[Anonymous]

If you have a great body all things are possible. Men age but they don’t change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They are all broke and/or cheap for various reasons
2. Lots of mental illness, addiction, alcohol, codependency, recovery
3. Children who are “off”/dealbreakers
4. Any moneyed ones were divorced (maybe more than once) for important reasons they do not acknowledge
5. Even the good ones will require a major compromise or two.

Money, looks, good personality: pick two.

52 years old divorced man and find some of the same issues with divorced women.

I am mid-40s and divorced and don’t have any of these problems. When I date, I date men 10 to 15 years younger so I’m not dating 50s men. I will never remarry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married to the same man for 30 years, we're happy and going strong, I'm 56 and cannot imagine being back "out there" willingly trying to compete against women half my age for the attention of men my age, and thinking my money and job are what they would value in a woman. Men value youth, beauty, and fertility. If my marriage were over tomorrow, I would call it a day and focus on my kids, and hobbies. No way I'm going to pretend I still have "it". Those days are over. I would be happy, but realistic about where I am in life.

This is one of the saddest posts I have read on here in a while (and that’s saying something!). I hope your children have not absorbed your messages that women’s value lies in her beauty, youth, and fertility. I have long thought that the worst misogynists are women themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What has your experience been?

I'll tell you! My experience has been wonderful because I'm not doing it!

I'm 53, divorce, I have amazing kids, both adults and minor, I still have a parent, I have a full-time job, I volunteer at church, I have a very full life. And dating is not a part of it. And I'm so happy about that! I do what I want when I want and with whom I want. I am never lonely.

There is zero upside to dating for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They are all broke and/or cheap for various reasons
2. Lots of mental illness, addiction, alcohol, codependency, recovery
3. Children who are “off”/dealbreakers
4. Any moneyed ones were divorced (maybe more than once) for important reasons they do not acknowledge
5. Even the good ones will require a major compromise or two.

Money, looks, good personality: pick two.

Lol so true. I gave up money because I make my own.

Guy here. Glad to hear this. I'd like to think I'm decent looking with a decent personality. But I'm a teacher.

I don't have money problems. I just don't casually make $400K like most people on here claim to.

I have a trust fund so would date a teacher. I’ve tried but don’t gel well with them. Men who mostly work with women have a different feel, hard to explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a great body all things are possible. Men age but they don’t change.

This is true! I enjoy dating because I have a great body and am attractive/I sleep with much younger men as I have no intent to ever marry again. It works well for me. I have parents, kids, friends, a job, and financial security. Why not date for great D? I can touch great D while promises of forever do nothing for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They are all broke and/or cheap for various reasons
2. Lots of mental illness, addiction, alcohol, codependency, recovery
3. Children who are “off”/dealbreakers
4. Any moneyed ones were divorced (maybe more than once) for important reasons they do not acknowledge
5. Even the good ones will require a major compromise or two.

Money, looks, good personality: pick two.

Lol so true. I gave up money because I make my own.

Guy here. Glad to hear this. I'd like to think I'm decent looking with a decent personality. But I'm a teacher.

I don't have money problems. I just don't casually make $400K like most people on here claim to.

I have a trust fund so would date a teacher. I’ve tried but don’t gel well with them. Men who mostly work with women have a different feel, hard to explain.

Please explain about dating male teachers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s adult Disneyland for the guys

Why ? Significant number of women are not available for a good reason. They’re done and just want to have fun on their own terms without a guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. They are all broke and/or cheap for various reasons
2. Lots of mental illness, addiction, alcohol, codependency, recovery
3. Children who are “off”/dealbreakers
4. Any moneyed ones were divorced (maybe more than once) for important reasons they do not acknowledge
5. Even the good ones will require a major compromise or two.

Money, looks, good personality: pick two.

Lol so true. I gave up money because I make my own.

Guy here. Glad to hear this. I'd like to think I'm decent looking with a decent personality. But I'm a teacher.

I don't have money problems. I just don't casually make $400K like most people on here claim to.

I have a trust fund so would date a teacher. I’ve tried but don’t gel well with them. Men who mostly work with women have a different feel, hard to explain.

Please explain about dating male teachers

Well, there should be some lifestyle compatibility. Men who make way less than me become resentful after a few months