Dating someone with different political views

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP, if this is actually real, you've been a complete idiot to have stayed this long. Having said that, get some self-respect and dump his ass immediately. Cut him off, no contact, zilch. Move on. It's still early, stop wasting your time and your youth.

[Anonymous]

If you have different political views by default that means you have different views on human rights, LGBT rights, being pro choice or not, etc.
You are not compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, if this is actually real, you've been a complete idiot to have stayed this long. Having said that, get some self-respect and dump his ass immediately. Cut him off, no contact, zilch. Move on. It's still early, stop wasting your time and your youth.

OP here and can I just throw in that all of this started like 6-8 weeks ago and has not been the entire 9 months we've been dating? At first he was like, "Oh, women are always liberal unless they're super religious, I've never dated a woman who agreed with me politically, I'm fine with that, blah blah blah" but lately it's like, really unhinged.

[Anonymous]

OP: What does your BF think about women being able to get a driver's license ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: What does your BF think about women being able to get a driver's license ?

Idk. He's never said anything about that. I have a driver's license so I guess he's fine with it.

[Anonymous]

Then you should've left 5-7 weeks ago.

You already know the answer and are seeking validation. I get it. But he is decidedly NOT 'the one.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP, if this is actually real, you've been a complete idiot to have stayed this long. Having said that, get some self-respect and dump his ass immediately. Cut him off, no contact, zilch. Move on. It's still early, stop wasting your time and your youth.

OP here and can I just throw in that all of this started like 6-8 weeks ago and has not been the entire 9 months we've been dating? At first he was like, "Oh, women are always liberal unless they're super religious, I've never dated a woman who agreed with me politically, I'm fine with that, blah blah blah" but lately it's like, really unhinged.

Yes, okay. I will give you that. Humans in general are pretty good at hiding who they are to get what they want. He wants a pretty girlfriend so he lies and says he's okay with her having different politics/values and goes about his life.

But humans in general are not good at hiding who they are for pretty long. In fact, what you describe, 8-9 months, is about as long as it can go, which is why it appeared out of nowhere. Eventually people slip.

[Anonymous]

Do you think you have a right to vote?

[Anonymous]

I have not come across a lot of women who are not liberals. Now these women may vote Republicans in secret but in their day to day beliefs they have liberal opinions on a lot of topics at least publicly. I think men are better off not engaging in lengthy political discourse with a lot of women. There are many things a couple can talk about and agree on. They can put politics aside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Then you should've left 5-7 weeks ago.

You already know the answer and are seeking validation. I get it. But he is decidedly NOT 'the one.'

No you're totally right. I did want validation.

I guess I'm just anxious about what next. I'm 31. I now do this thing where I do the math in my head like, okay, if I break up with him this month, and I take a couple months off from dating, and then I meet someone by the holidays, I can get engaged in a year which means after a year long engagement...

I'm deeply neurotic about what happens next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not come across a lot of women who are not liberals. Now these women may vote Republicans in secret but in their day to day beliefs they have liberal opinions on a lot of topics at least publicly. I think men are better off not engaging in lengthy political discourse with a lot of women. There are many things a couple can talk about and agree on. They can put politics aside.

Right, I agree. It sounds like OP agrees. But there is one person in OP's relationship who does NOT agree and that seems like it's going to pose a problem for her for the next 50 years if she doesn't get her head out of her ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you should've left 5-7 weeks ago.

You already know the answer and are seeking validation. I get it. But he is decidedly NOT 'the one.'

No you're totally right. I did want validation.

I guess I'm just anxious about what next. I'm 31. I now do this thing where I do the math in my head like, okay, if I break up with him this month, and I take a couple months off from dating, and then I meet someone by the holidays, I can get engaged in a year which means after a year long engagement...

I'm deeply neurotic about what happens next.

You download a dating app and start again. That's what happens next.

I'm not saying you're dumb or he's a bad person or whatever. I'm saying this person does not respect your opinions and you should not saddle yourself to him legally, financially, and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer for Kamala and meet like minded men!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not come across a lot of women who are not liberals. Now these women may vote Republicans in secret but in their day to day beliefs they have liberal opinions on a lot of topics at least publicly. I think men are better off not engaging in lengthy political discourse with a lot of women. There are many things a couple can talk about and agree on. They can put politics aside.

When one side's whole platform is to denigrate women, no you cannot put politics aside.

-- Married 40 years to fellow Dem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you should've left 5-7 weeks ago.

You already know the answer and are seeking validation. I get it. But he is decidedly NOT 'the one.'

No you're totally right. I did want validation.

I guess I'm just anxious about what next. I'm 31. I now do this thing where I do the math in my head like, okay, if I break up with him this month, and I take a couple months off from dating, and then I meet someone by the holidays, I can get engaged in a year which means after a year long engagement...

I'm deeply neurotic about what happens next.

Do you have the time and money for therapy? You are still young and the right therapist might be able to help you approach dating from a more grounded, less neurotic place.