Wife cuts off friendship with next door neighbor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Op her socializing and being neighborly are two different things for me. I don’t socialize with the husband but I’m friendly. I smile and acknowledge that he’s around when I see him.

The neighbor was being extremely rude and completely clueless about your child. Your wife stood up for her son. You should do the same and stop being a doormat. No reason to be friendly or neighborly with people like your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

It seems needlessly escalating to tell the woman she was cutting her off instead of graadually cutting back interaction or pretending to be extra busy. She has every right to end the friendship, but no need to fan the flames by announcing it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

The neighbor went out of her way to be rude about their son. I would have done the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Women like drama. She couldj've just been civil with them but never had any parties/playdates between your kids. They do live next door, so maintaing at least that level of contact should be OK.

What if you suddenly needed them, like your house was being broken into while you were out; water leak, etc? There's a good reason not to be totally cut off from them.

What I'd do as the husband is maintain a civil relationship with the father. At least there is some connetcino between your two families, in case you ever need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems needlessly escalating to tell the woman she was cutting her off instead of graadually cutting back interaction or pretending to be extra busy. She has every right to end the friendship, but no need to fan the flames by announcing it!

Nope. You want to single out my child for no reason, I'll be very direct about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to America. You are wrong, your wife is right. Be happy you’ve dodged a bullet with these loons. Did you say you don't even interact with the husband? What the hell do you care? Learn how to write, too.

This post being a good example of bad writing.

Op. Culturally neighbors are seen as an extension of your family. It’s very unusual to cut a neighbor off. Sounds like it’s happens over here and it’s okay. Wife said it probably would have gotten worse if she didn’t end it abruptly.

What is this nonsense?
If America is such a trash place, you can go back to your “extension of your family”. You don’t even have a relationship with these people but you want to your wife to have one because of your old country fantasy? Your wife should cut off her relationship with YOU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

She married OP, so she’s clearly a poor judge of character.

[Anonymous]

I think you're both right and want what's best but have different life philosophies. Respect the benefits of each other's positions and let it go. You're correct that a complete cut off is extreme and remaining cordial is best but her direct manner solves her issue quickly without room for the neighbor to bother her. The only thing left to lament is that everyone needs their neighbor at some point and they are left thinking your wife is upset they didn't invite your son and not the fact that their statement came out of left field. They were probably fretting about a reciprocal invite for a kid they are apprehensive about and the wife decided to nip it in the bud but doesn't understand you were not expecting the invite.

It's all awkward when people let their anxiety guide them and we've all been guilty of it so I'm not judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

She married OP, so she’s clearly a poor judge of character.

Op. She’s also pregnant. She found out around the same time and said she’s no longer going to fake anything between her and this lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to America. You are wrong, your wife is right. Be happy you’ve dodged a bullet with these loons. Did you say you don't even interact with the husband? What the hell do you care? Learn how to write, too.

This post being a good example of bad writing.

Op. Culturally neighbors are seen as an extension of your family. It’s very unusual to cut a neighbor off. Sounds like it’s happens over here and it’s okay. Wife said it probably would have gotten worse if she didn’t end it abruptly.

What is this nonsense?
If America is such a trash place, you can go back to your “extension of your family”. You don’t even have a relationship with these people but you want to your wife to have one because of your old country fantasy? Your wife should cut off her relationship with YOU.

Calm down. I didn’t say America is trash. I explained my thoughts and background. Lots of people want to be civil with neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

She married OP, so she’s clearly a poor judge of character.

Op. She’s also pregnant. She found out around the same time and said she’s no longer going to fake anything between her and this lady.

Are you implying that the pregnancy is impeding her judgment? You sound better and better with every post. Team wife. She values her children more than some crazy neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

The neighbor went out of her way to be rude about their son. I would have done the same thing.

Op here. To clarify I didn’t say she doesn’t want to be friendly. She said she doesn’t want to be friends with any of the moms but she is friendly towards them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

She married OP, so she’s clearly a poor judge of character.

Op. She’s also pregnant. She found out around the same time and said she’s no longer going to fake anything between her and this lady.

Are you implying that the pregnancy is impeding her judgment? You sound better and better with every post. Team wife. She values her children more than some crazy neighbor.

No not that but she doesn’t want to cause stress to herself so I think her reasoning was more around that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

The neighbor went out of her way to be rude about their son. I would have done the same thing.

Op here. To clarify I didn’t say she doesn’t want to be friendly. She said she doesn’t want to be friends with any of the moms but she is friendly towards them.

So what exactly is the problem then????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife is 100% within her right to not socialize with people like your neighbor. You should learn from her and grow a backbone.

Yes, but his wife also sounds strange for just directly telling the woman off instead of being civil. She also says she doesn't want to be friendly to anyone in the neighborhood. That is weird, since she doesn't know them. His wife is full of red flags, too.

The neighbor went out of her way to be rude about their son. I would have done the same thing.

Op here. To clarify I didn’t say she doesn’t want to be friendly. She said she doesn’t want to be friends with any of the moms but she is friendly towards them.

Don't push her. She is finding a safe position for herself at a time when she may feel insecure. It might all be her own perceptions and not reality but nothing you say will change that and while pregnant she'll be happier doing things her way.