a thousand cuts...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

What a genius pivot!!

You and your husband sound like a dream team!! 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

Now that's a "life hack"!

My mom had about a years notice she would die with terminal illness. She put everything on one credit card so at least bills would stop needing to be paid. I canceled that one card (which was a similar experience to the above story). Somethings cancelled on their own because the bills stopped getting paid . It gave me breathing room feeling like I didn’t have to do everything at once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

"while you were arguing with me, i held a seance and my dead dad wants to speak to you."

that's hilariously awful. i (OP) laugh-cried in sympathy. i'll have to keep that tactic in mind when i talk to some of these call centers. 😭

[Anonymous]

It took maybe 4 or 5 hours on the phone with customer service just to cancel a service—just for myself, not even for deceased—so I can understand what kind of ordeal it would take to take care of everything for your loved one. Some of those workers are lazy and make up nonexistent rules which increases the frustration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am slowly taking over my mom’s affairs (Alzheimer’s) and wondering how much of this stuff can I start doing now? What are the things you find yourself needing to do? I’m the executor of her estate and have full poa now. She doesn’t have a cell phone anymore. Moved into assisted living and downsized (I took care of that over two summers) … but I imagine there are a to. If things that pop up.

as my parents were in the early stages of dementia: getting most bills documented and set up for auto-pay. getting the poa on record at the bank(s). accessing/closing any safe deposit boxes and extraneous accounts. if there is any chance of them needing medicaid, getting 5 years of statements from each financial account. if you will need to represent your parents interests at social security (especially if the living parent is entitled to a former spouses higher payment), applying to be a representative payee and setting up a new bank account in both your names. if you've already downsized and dealt with any real estate that is a huge load lifted.

finding wills, poas, birth certificates, passports, drivers license/id. given that at some point they will not be able to go in person, making sure that passports are renewed for any ID purposes is good.

deciding in advance on any funeral arrangements, or finding out if any have been made. this helps because frequently you will have to call a funeral home at 1 in the morning, which is not the time to be doing price comparing.

(i went with direct cremation, which runs around $1500-2000. a funeral service w/temporary coffin could run $5000-15000, and obviously has more time constraints.)

assisted living can help you decide when hospice might be best to be brought in. if your parent is a hospice patient, hospice will send someone out to certify the death, which is recorded as of when hospice views the body. if they pass late in the evening, the official date and time will likely be the next day. if they are not a hospice patient, then usually you must call the police to certify the death, and the funeral home is then called. if your loved one passes at a hospital there is sometimes less for you to manage.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear. Pace yourself, not everything needs to happen now. My mom died in 2020 and I still haven’t completely taken care of everything. Took me 2 years to turn off her cellphone because it seemed too final.

[Anonymous]

YOU NEED TO TRIAGE.

1. Take care of you: sleep enough and don't eat junk.
2. Take care of kid: eat, sleep, daycare.
3. Take care of parent's finances: anything that takes away from your inheritance.

THE REST IS NOT URGENT.
You don't need to redo your blasted will right now. You don't need to hurry to change the headstone. You don't need to worry about the blasted election or mass casualty event. You don't need to write notes to anyone.

Do you have ADHD? Your brain is trying to run in a million directions at the same time because grief and lack of sleep are acting as ADHD accelerators. Get some sleep. And understand where the priorities are.

(Sorry, but you need some tough love, my dear. I'm sorry for your loss.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are hospitals preparing for mass causalities?

Everywhere

Mike Flynn and his sycophants have expressed violence

More likely it will be in October

If you say so!

[Anonymous]

I’m 6mo in to the process. There are days I can do more than others. Some weeks I just can’t handle the nonsense. And then my siblings want to know what the hold up is. They are welcome to get on the phone if they think they can make things happen faster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

Give them a death certificate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

I'm glad that worked for you, but... OMG.

[Anonymous]

I have taxes from 2 years ago that need filing. And I didn’t even die yet. Stay strong Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

Now that's a "life hack"!

I am receiving the previous tenant’s (she is deceased) Verizon bills. I did the RTS (deceased) thing but it didn’t help. I am debating if I should call pretending to be her and cancel the account!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

Now that's a "life hack"!

I am receiving the previous tenant’s (she is deceased) Verizon bills. I did the RTS (deceased) thing but it didn’t help. I am debating if I should call pretending to be her and cancel the account!

Doooo it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know how you feel. The never ending tasks made so much harder because of the ridiculous ever changing rules. As I argued with McAffee to cancel my dead father's account the customer service rep insisted that he needed to speak with my father (the dead one) in order to cancel. So in desperation my husband got on the phone said he was my father (the dead one) and stated he wanted his account closed. The customer service rep cheerfully closed the account.

Now that's a "life hack"!

I am receiving the previous tenant’s (she is deceased) Verizon bills. I did the RTS (deceased) thing but it didn’t help. I am debating if I should call pretending to be her and cancel the account!

Doooo it!

And I won’t get in trouble?!

When I got the keys to the mailbox I discovered a huge pile of mail. Management just told me to throw it all in the trash I went with RTS; deceased but omg it keeps coming. Her family (not kids) are in another state I am told.

I have already cancelled her magazine subscriptions (that was weirdly easy, I just needed the name and address to do it online!) and wrote back to a couple of donation soliciting places (using their provided envelopes).