Vindictive ASD teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

Ugh. Please don’t respond here if you don’t have a child with autism. You’re not cute and you’re not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Well, back to OP’s question, I think all you can do is medication and get the chik fil a next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

You don’t have this kind of kid then. Not OP here.

How are you making kid clean the trash? Would you take away cellphone/electronics? Kid doesn’t care. Threaten to cancel vacation? Kid doesn’t care. And I mean they will fully lay on the bed or sit & stare at the wall for days rather than do whatever you are forcing, while the garbage rots & stains your furniture & rugs.

This is what OP is dealing with.

If it’s really this bad then you might want to try a residential facility for stabilization and to assess/address motivation and compliance. That environment would be equipped to effectively handle this type of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, back to OP’s question, I think all you can do is medication and get the chik fil a next time.

Ha ha ha ha ha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try an in home parent training with a professional, you’re well beyond talk therapy working for this situation.

Where do you find someone like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

Okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try an in home parent training with a professional, you’re well beyond talk therapy working for this situation.

Where do you find someone like this?

https://www.bacb.com/services/o.php?page=101135

You will need to search for a BCBA or BCBA-D and interview them thoroughly to ensure experience and competence in the specific issues you need addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

True, but those aren't the choices.

If mom makes cleaning up a power struggle, mom won't win, because in the end her motivation to keep her house safe for siblings, and retain it's resale value is going to mean that the kid can outlast her, and winning a power struggle is enormously reinforcing to kids like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

Mmmm hmmm. And are you going to beat the kid when they don't do it? Put a gun to their head as they clean? Because some kids still wouldn't clean up the garbage. I think you don't know what you are talking about here.

I know that a child with absolutely zero rate compliance and zero effective reinforcers is incredibly rare. If true, then I’d make them throw away one piece and clean the rest myself. Then I’d start with a complete analysis of the environment and conduct multiple preference and reinforcer assessments, starting with everything from the Chick-fil-A menu. Then I’d start basic compliance training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

True, but those aren't the choices.

If mom makes cleaning up a power struggle, mom won't win, because in the end her motivation to keep her house safe for siblings, and retain it's resale value is going to mean that the kid can outlast her, and winning a power struggle is enormously reinforcing to kids like this.

Another thank you for posting this. Going through something similar and, no, child will not clean it up no matter how long we wait, how many consequences we impose, how many times we ask, demand, beg, take away electronics, offer electronics, offer other things. It's shocking to me that someone could act like this and have completely disregard for everyone else but this is how DC is too and there are no good options for a child like this. We have tried every kind of therapy and med possible.

[Anonymous]

My kid behaved like this. But once he calmed down, he was remorseful. When he was calm, we would clean up the messes together and talk about why he felt so angry.

Most of the time it came down to feeling not in control of something. The lack of control was due to his rigidity and anxiety. We medicated for anxiety and that helped some. Unfortunately, it was maturity that helped the most.

Consequences are irrelevant. It doesn't do anything but beat down someone that is already suffering.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t have any advice, but I’m sorry that you’re in such a tough situation and even sorrier that morons are telling you to “jUsT maKe hIM cLEAn iT uP”, as if that were a brilliant strategy that had never occurred to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

Mmmm hmmm. And are you going to beat the kid when they don't do it? Put a gun to their head as they clean? Because some kids still wouldn't clean up the garbage. I think you don't know what you are talking about here.

I know that a child with absolutely zero rate compliance and zero effective reinforcers is incredibly rare. If true, then I’d make them throw away one piece and clean the rest myself. Then I’d start with a complete analysis of the environment and conduct multiple preference and reinforcer assessments, starting with everything from the Chick-fil-A menu. Then I’d start basic compliance training.

Yeah, sure. Ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long did it take him to clean up the trash?

OP here. You know he didn’t.

Seriously?! Mine would’ve been cleaning all night and steam cleaning again today.

NP. So you don't have a vindictive ASD DC. Just unhelpful criticism.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I do fun things while mom cleans it up. Watching mom get upset and clean garbage is fun. Next time she’ll probably get me what I want, if she doesn’t I’ll make a bigger mess.

I get told no, I spread garbage on the floor, I spend all night and day cleaning and don’t get to do fun things. Cleaning garbage is smelly and not fun, Next time I won’t spread garbage.

Mmmm hmmm. And are you going to beat the kid when they don't do it? Put a gun to their head as they clean? Because some kids still wouldn't clean up the garbage. I think you don't know what you are talking about here.

I know that a child with absolutely zero rate compliance and zero effective reinforcers is incredibly rare. If true, then I’d make them throw away one piece and clean the rest myself. Then I’d start with a complete analysis of the environment and conduct multiple preference and reinforcer assessments, starting with everything from the Chick-fil-A menu. Then I’d start basic compliance training.

This statement is implying that the behavior is OP's fault for not parenting good enough. That's both wrong and hurtful. As well as unhelpful. OP is not responsible for the vindictive behavior, whether or not she or the DC or someone else or no one cleans it up.

[Anonymous]

WTF is compliance training. This is not a dog people.