DD taking risk with strangers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

DP. But isn't it sort of weird that she drove hours to a farm not knowing that? Like either she drove hours to meet a guy knowing nothing about his life, or that she didn't really research her route or look at a Google map photo of her destination.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like risk taking behavior. I am also a naively trusting person, but I understand your concern because it is a gamble when you put yourself in these situations.

Tell her you would like to track her location in case anything happens and she needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

DP. But isn't it sort of weird that she drove hours to a farm not knowing that? Like either she drove hours to meet a guy knowing nothing about his life, or that she didn't really research her route or look at a Google map photo of her destination.

No? I went to visit friends’ places in my 20s without extensive research first and no one even had Google maps photos then. The most I would do for protection was telling my roommate the name and address of who I was visiting. It sounds like her parents have a tracker on her phone and she knows it so it’s not like no one can know where she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

lol. OP is describing absolutely normal activities for a 20-something. OP you need to stop tracking your daughter.

After OP “caught” her walking through cities at 11 pm at night 😂

When do you think 21yos meet up OP? 8AM before their classes?

[Anonymous]

OP here. We can’t track her, so I’ve asked her to allow her friends to do so. They are, for the most part, clueless but it’s better than nothing. The young man was in the car with her directing her to his family home. She had just flown in from out of town that morning, then hopped out with him. She now admits that he is strange…so she didn’t really know him. She was walking through isolated parts of Baltimore alone at night. We put an end to that by refusing to pay for her phone.

[Anonymous]

Maryland has a lot of dirt roads that lead to houses. Don't visit the eastern shore if you don't want to drive on a dirt road. Many half million dollar or more homes are on dirt roads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We can’t track her, so I’ve asked her to allow her friends to do so. They are, for the most part, clueless but it’s better than nothing. The young man was in the car with her directing her to his family home. She had just flown in from out of town that morning, then hopped out with him. She now admits that he is strange…so she didn’t really know him. She was walking through isolated parts of Baltimore alone at night. We put an end to that by refusing to pay for her phone.

So now she walks alone without a phone or she pays for her own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We can’t track her, so I’ve asked her to allow her friends to do so. They are, for the most part, clueless but it’s better than nothing. The young man was in the car with her directing her to his family home. She had just flown in from out of town that morning, then hopped out with him. She now admits that he is strange…so she didn’t really know him. She was walking through isolated parts of Baltimore alone at night. We put an end to that by refusing to pay for her phone.

I ran and walked around Baltimore at night all of the time in College. In retrospect probably not the best idea but I lived to tell the tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We can’t track her, so I’ve asked her to allow her friends to do so. They are, for the most part, clueless but it’s better than nothing. The young man was in the car with her directing her to his family home. She had just flown in from out of town that morning, then hopped out with him. She now admits that he is strange…so she didn’t really know him. She was walking through isolated parts of Baltimore alone at night. We put an end to that by refusing to pay for her phone.

So now she walks alone without a phone or she pays for her own?

No. She has a phone. Just no more Baltimore at night.

[Anonymous]

The question is how did the trip to rural WV come up. Is it OK to have some man ask you to drive you to place X (that they have told you is home), after being in their presence for five working days. Assume at work, we are talking no more than a couple of hours. I would say no.

[Anonymous]

Hire someone to fake mug her, or to stage a fake violent attack for her to witness.

[Anonymous]

This is how my friend's sister ended up murdered by her "boyfriend".

[Anonymous]

She should’ve known what state she was going to before she got in the car. It was WV, so 75% + chance you’re going to have dirt roads and farms. Multigenerational families on the same property is called a family farm, not a compound.

[Anonymous]

I grew up on a horse farm. We had a long dirt road. Every farm I knew in the area had a dirt road. I don't see the issue? Your daughter....visited a farm.

[Anonymous]

All of this sounds normal, friend.