DD taking risk with strangers

[Anonymous]

Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

[Anonymous]

You can send a note to her therapist, assuming you know who they are. But please also consider whether all these things are equally dangerous, and whether her response will be to just not tell you. A lot of us walk at 11 pm (dogs, commutes, nights out) and it can be fine in many locations. Going off with a man you don't know well is riskier, IMO, but telling someone who you're with and where is important - so be someone she wants to tell.

You could ask her to read the Gift of Fear and take a self defense class - not for the obvious reasons but to make her aware of the kinds of things that happen. The self defense class was eye opening to me because they had us try to escape a grab and I just couldn't, even though I'm pretty strong and know the typical moves they teach you: a big guy is stronger.

[Anonymous]

Thanks pp. which self defense course did you take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

lol. OP is describing absolutely normal activities for a 20-something. OP you need to stop tracking your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Be glad that she is not living her life in fear.

[Anonymous]

A dirt road??? Quelle horreur!!!

[Anonymous]

Someone who works with you isn’t a stranger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

It wasn’t a farm. It was a compound with multiple family members living on the same plot. Isolated. She didn’t know a thing about it until she got there.

You’re still describing a farm.

And a good deal of WV. Every place in WV I’ve ever gone except the University has been down a dirt road.

[Anonymous]

You can't stop her from doing these things - presumably she has grown up in a safe home and environment and doesn't live her like like someone is waiting to get her around every corner. That is actually nice. You can ask her to check in more often. Consider location sharing on Google maps if you're not going to do something insane and show up at said location. Or if she doesn't share with you she shares with her best friend.

She is living her life and honestly bad things happen all the time. You can't protect her. If nothing has happened yet I'd say she probably is safer than you think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what to do, my only "leverage" is one more year of college that I will be paying for.
DD goes off with strangers, but she thinks that they are safe because she has known them for say, five days at work. The last young man encouraged her to drive 2 hours away to W. Va. to meet an his family, she told me how they actually had to turn down a dirt road to get to the house. There, the family seems to be survivalists complete with poultry and a cow that they planned to slaughter. She had no idea that the house was so isolated or that they lived on a compound.
She has been caught walking through cities at 11 pm at night to meet up with friends. Jogs through parks alone. Dog walking in isolated places. Pepper spray, but buried deep in purses.
There is always a new boyfriend that involves driving hours to go see.
It is next to impossible to talk to her. When I was younger (but much older than she is), I took some risks too. However, I was not so confident that I would be OK. And when I was warned, I listened.
I am really scared, thinking of forcing her to allow me to speak to her therapist to inform him of the risks that she takes, or else no tuition next year.

You're describing going to a farm.

This literally made me LOL - 100%!

[Anonymous]

Talk to your doctor about your anxiety, OP.