Mom friendships as teens graduate HS

[Anonymous]

I don't know what the point of this post is, but I am sure we will see folks claiming it is weird and pathetic to bond over the shared experience of motherhood and you're a loser if you have mom friends.

I don't think that, but I do think that mom friendships tend to be more situational vs. life-long friendships. There is nothing wrong with that, just more limited.

[Anonymous]

Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

[Anonymous]

I have one "mom" friend who made it post-kids living at home and it was clear to me by elementary school that would be the case. We were not situational friends, but real friends. Did things outside of our kids a lot and had many conversations not about our children. It just wasn't about the kids anymore...can't explain why I knew that with certainty but I did.

The rest were more situational for sure. My closest friends are people I was close with before having kids and I always prioritized these friendships when I had free time when my kids were growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

I made a lot of friends when my kids were younger. We were new to dc and made many family friends. We are a very academically focused family. DH and I are ivy educated and have high standards for our children. Our friends vary in their views, kids’ abilities, etc. I try not to talk about my kids too much because it may sound like bragging.

[Anonymous]

empty nester of 10 years here. Made lots of friends with moms when kids were in preschool and elementary. Twenty years later some are close friends, some are Facebook friends, most just faded away as my own mother told me they would.

[Anonymous]

I dropped almost all my mom friends when my kids went to high school and I didn't pick any new ones up. I was just done with the whole thing and just made other friends. I do have a couple mom friends but their kids didn't go to school with mine and moved a little further out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:empty nester of 10 years here. Made lots of friends with moms when kids were in preschool and elementary. Twenty years later some are close friends, some are Facebook friends, most just faded away as my own mother told me they would.

So who do you hang out with now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dropped almost all my mom friends when my kids went to high school and I didn't pick any new ones up. I was just done with the whole thing and just made other friends. I do have a couple mom friends but their kids didn't go to school with mine and moved a little further out.

This feels a little prickly. What do you mean by “the whole thing?” Like parents were competitive?

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

I made a lot of friends when my kids were younger. We were new to dc and made many family friends. We are a very academically focused family. DH and I are ivy educated and have high standards for our children. Our friends vary in their views, kids’ abilities, etc. I try not to talk about my kids too much because it may sound like bragging.

You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

My oldest just finished his second year of college. My “mom friends” that stemmed from his school/teammates are still my friends, although there have been changes.

I still have two younger kids, so a lot of my time is still tapped by attending their games and activities. Some friends are in the same shies as I am, and we tend to be closer as we still have a lot of contact via the high school. Other friends in the group became empty nesters when my oldest started college - they have a lot more free time that they are spending in various interesting ways (more travel with spouse and friends, more
weeknight get togethers, picked up new hobbies, etc) and so I’d say I have spent less time with them over the past two years. But, we’re all still friends and still get together as a group for walks, drinks, and sometimes with spouses for dinners/cocktail parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

I made a lot of friends when my kids were younger. We were new to dc and made many family friends. We are a very academically focused family. DH and I are ivy educated and have high standards for our children. Our friends vary in their views, kids’ abilities, etc. I try not to talk about my kids too much because it may sound like bragging.

You sound insufferable.

We have a lot of different friends and colleagues. I’m surprised at the number of parents who let their kids do nothing, get average grades and not seem to care what college their kid goes to.

I’m actually pretty social and have a lot of friends. Like I said, I try not to talk about my kids too much.

[Anonymous]

I sort of hope to rekindle some mom friendships after the kids graduate and I have more time in my hands, but that may be overly optimistic. There were a handful of moms from the elementary school years who I really liked that I didn't see much when our kids went in polar opposite directions in middle school.

I hope I'll have the nerve to reach out and text for coffee dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

I made a lot of friends when my kids were younger. We were new to dc and made many family friends. We are a very academically focused family. DH and I are ivy educated and have high standards for our children. Our friends vary in their views, kids’ abilities, etc. I try not to talk about my kids too much because it may sound like bragging.

This has got to be a joke. Are you in DC area? Can't swing a stick at Whole Foods without hitting this family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friend group started off centered around the kids and then as they developed their own friends, interests, we have mostly managed to keep the friendships. I will admit that certain times get awkward, and I could imagine that 12th grade is one of those. There was a sports team that a few tried out for and only a couple made it. Similarly, next year they will finish college. A couple will likely go to “top tier” schools and others will go to local or community college. At least one may not go to college at all. Which is totally fine, of course. But I would understand if the mom
Wants to take a break from all the college talk then. I think we would connect back but I understand when people have stressors that impact their friendships.

I made a lot of friends when my kids were younger. We were new to dc and made many family friends. We are a very academically focused family. DH and I are ivy educated and have high standards for our children. Our friends vary in their views, kids’ abilities, etc. I try not to talk about my kids too much because it may sound like bragging.

You sound insufferable.

We have a lot of different friends and colleagues. I’m surprised at the number of parents who let their kids do nothing, get average grades and not seem to care what college their kid goes to.

I’m actually pretty social and have a lot of friends. Like I said, I try not to talk about my kids too much.

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sort of hope to rekindle some mom friendships after the kids graduate and I have more time in my hands, but that may be overly optimistic. There were a handful of moms from the elementary school years who I really liked that I didn't see much when our kids went in polar opposite directions in middle school.

I hope I'll have the nerve to reach out and text for coffee dates.

Same here. There are some moms that I like as people, not just mom friends, so I hope they will want to stay friends.