If someone helped your child make a mother's day present for someone else.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that would bother me would be if I was expected to mail or deliver it to the other recipients. If this mystery craftsperson took my kid's handprint flowers and gave them to whoever, even a stranger, that would be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This feels off the charts overly sensitive, OP. Do you feel your child can only love you, not aunts or grandmothers? Because that to me is at the heart of your anger at the care person. You don't want your child to show love for any other female relative.

OP here,

I'm the aunt who got the extra, not the mom who is upset. Trying to figure out if other people would agree with my sister.

I'm this PP. Was it your sister's DH that did it? Or was it a caretaker/teacher/aide who did it. That could make a difference.

Whatever the case, your sister shouldn't be mad at you. And if it's a care person and not her DH, then she is insecure if she is upset. My guess is that given she's your sister you know the answer. Rightfully upset or insecure.

Neither, it was our brother who did it. Sister is separated and has a toddler. Brother and his wife also have a toddler, so he took both kids and made art projects for the kids' moms and grandmas, and then made an extra one for me, and one for an elderly great-aunt in memory care. He said figuring out how to get it right was hard, but once he did replicating it was easy so he just kept going. My SIL (Brother's wife) was not hurt, just my sister.

I took her older kid and helped her make a gift, The but we just did her mom and grandma.

If I have it all straight I think it's that your sister is hurting because she doesn't have a husband to help her kids make her gift and her brother taking on that role already stings, and then for him to give that same gift to all the aunts makes it even less special and personal. It's not rational or reasonable at all but I kind of get it. Nobody did anything wrong. Hopefully next year her kid is big enough to draw a card themselves so it's something unique.

[Anonymous]

Your brother is a saint.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is likely insecure. In the end she did t appreciate a kind gesture. I would just not do anything next year to avoid conflict.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

No. That is crazy!!!

[Anonymous]

Your sister is having a rough time, being separated & with a toddler. Likely feeling bad about her herself.

Your brother was sweet to do this.

Your brother was not wrong, & it is understandable that your sister is feeling sensitive. Hopefully all can let it go & move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This feels off the charts overly sensitive, OP. Do you feel your child can only love you, not aunts or grandmothers? Because that to me is at the heart of your anger at the care person. You don't want your child to show love for any other female relative.

OP here,

I'm the aunt who got the extra, not the mom who is upset. Trying to figure out if other people would agree with my sister.

NP here. I’d agree with your sister. There’s only one mother. Other females in the family can have a different gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This feels off the charts overly sensitive, OP. Do you feel your child can only love you, not aunts or grandmothers? Because that to me is at the heart of your anger at the care person. You don't want your child to show love for any other female relative.

OP here,

I'm the aunt who got the extra, not the mom who is upset. Trying to figure out if other people would agree with my sister.

I'm this PP. Was it your sister's DH that did it? Or was it a caretaker/teacher/aide who did it. That could make a difference.

Whatever the case, your sister shouldn't be mad at you. And if it's a care person and not her DH, then she is insecure if she is upset. My guess is that given she's your sister you know the answer. Rightfully upset or insecure.

Neither, it was our brother who did it. Sister is separated and has a toddler. Brother and his wife also have a toddler, so he took both kids and made art projects for the kids' moms and grandmas, and then made an extra one for me, and one for an elderly great-aunt in memory care. He said figuring out how to get it right was hard, but once he did replicating it was easy so he just kept going. My SIL (Brother's wife) was not hurt, just my sister.

I took her older kid and helped her make a gift, The but we just did her mom and grandma.

If I have it all straight I think it's that your sister is hurting because she doesn't have a husband to help her kids make her gift and her brother taking on that role already stings, and then for him to give that same gift to all the aunts makes it even less special and personal. It's not rational or reasonable at all but I kind of get it. Nobody did anything wrong. Hopefully next year her kid is big enough to draw a card themselves so it's something unique.

Oh yeah, I’m sure next year this toddler + 12 months is going to be planning an amazing Mother’s Day for mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This feels off the charts overly sensitive, OP. Do you feel your child can only love you, not aunts or grandmothers? Because that to me is at the heart of your anger at the care person. You don't want your child to show love for any other female relative.

OP here,

I'm the aunt who got the extra, not the mom who is upset. Trying to figure out if other people would agree with my sister.

NP here. I’d agree with your sister. There’s only one mother. Other females in the family can have a different gift.

Both you and OP's sister are a bit extra. Of course you're the only mother to your child. Nothing, not even crudely made hand prints would ever change that fact you're the mother. If you are this butt hurt by a sweet inclusive gesture toward all the females in your family, then you're in for a long road of hurt feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is having a rough time, being separated & with a toddler. Likely feeling bad about her herself.

Your brother was sweet to do this.

Your brother was not wrong, & it is understandable that your sister is feeling sensitive. Hopefully all can let it go & move on.

If she doesn't have a history of being self-centered, it's probably not about the craft at all. She's just on edge and mother's day has a lot of expectations attached to it so she's over reacting emotionally to this. Later on she might realize she was being irrational.

[Anonymous]

Personally I think it's weird to insist that all women in the family get something for Mother's Day, even if they're not mothers. I also think it's weird that the husband of one of my child-free friends goes all out with gifts to his wife from their "dog-baby" on Mother's Day. Some women are moms, some aren't - and that's just fine. We don't feel the need to send flowers to every random adult man on Father's Day, do we? So I'd probably roll my eyes a bit over a well-meaning relative who replicated mother's day presents for all the women in the family. But I wouldn't be hurt or offended.

Fwiw we rarely do anything in my house for mother's day, so it's not like I think it should be a big deal for anyone other than those who might need it (my husband for the first time ever sent flowers to his own mother, who may not live to see another Mother's Day, and I thought that was right. I got nothing but texts from my college kid, and I also am just fine with that.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:would you be upset?

If someone helped your toddler make you a gift with hand prints, and made extras for other female family members, such as aunts, or grandma, would that bother you? Would it make you feel less special to know that other people got essentially the same gift?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This feels off the charts overly sensitive, OP. Do you feel your child can only love you, not aunts or grandmothers? Because that to me is at the heart of your anger at the care person. You don't want your child to show love for any other female relative.

OP here,

I'm the aunt who got the extra, not the mom who is upset. Trying to figure out if other people would agree with my sister.

I'm this PP. Was it your sister's DH that did it? Or was it a caretaker/teacher/aide who did it. That could make a difference.

Whatever the case, your sister shouldn't be mad at you. And if it's a care person and not her DH, then she is insecure if she is upset. My guess is that given she's your sister you know the answer. Rightfully upset or insecure.

Neither, it was our brother who did it. Sister is separated and has a toddler. Brother and his wife also have a toddler, so he took both kids and made art projects for the kids' moms and grandmas, and then made an extra one for me, and one for an elderly great-aunt in memory care. He said figuring out how to get it right was hard, but once he did replicating it was easy so he just kept going. My SIL (Brother's wife) was not hurt, just my sister.

I took her older kid and helped her make a gift, but we just did her mom and grandma.

She seems over the top sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think it's weird to insist that all women in the family get something for Mother's Day, even if they're not mothers. I also think it's weird that the husband of one of my child-free friends goes all out with gifts to his wife from their "dog-baby" on Mother's Day. Some women are moms, some aren't - and that's just fine. We don't feel the need to send flowers to every random adult man on Father's Day, do we? So I'd probably roll my eyes a bit over a well-meaning relative who replicated mother's day presents for all the women in the family. But I wouldn't be hurt or offended.

Fwiw we rarely do anything in my house for mother's day, so it's not like I think it should be a big deal for anyone other than those who might need it (my husband for the first time ever sent flowers to his own mother, who may not live to see another Mother's Day, and I thought that was right. I got nothing but texts from my college kid, and I also am just fine with that.)

No one insisted, and I think all of those who got the handprint happen to be mothers.