Has anyone successfully overcome a fear of flying?

[Anonymous]

Going on 20yrs of fear. Improved over the years fortunately.
I saw a psych that gave me crazy cocktail of meds for flights I *had* to take. Made me comatose and nearly had to go to airport infirmary. 0/10
Tried a therapist that flew with me on regular commercial flight DCA - NYC roundtrip. Useless. Told her I was cured to stop seeing her.
Did nothing for years and avoided flying.
Flew some places and just cried on plane.

In recent years I've done the following and it has helped immensely:
(1) Ask the Pilot book like PP mentions *and* his blog -- he explains a number of things.
(2) Talked to military pilot friend about all the noises. Took a while but I realized that not knowing exactly what certain noises were made me think they were bad. In one instance, he taught me that I WANT to hear a certain kind of noise to know everything is ok. Now when I hear it, it actually relaxes me. But I also know that if I don't, there are fine reasons for that too.
(3) Xanax takes the edge off. Just knowing that I have the pills available (and I've only added this my regime very recently) helps prevent panic in weeks leading up to flight. I don't think it will take me out of a panic but I keep myself steady with the knowledge the med will do the rest. This was really the missing piece for me and can't believe no previous PCP suggested it.
(4) If possible, book carriers that have in-seat entertainment. Although of course putting it on your own device works too. I don't have TV or streaming services at home so this just adds a bit of bonus for me flipping thru offerings.
(5) Crosswords etc as PP mentions. However I find they can't be too hard or my brain reverts to bad thoughts. If I'm zipping thru a puzzle I'm remaining distracted. And doing them in print is better than phone for me. Tactile helps with focus.
(7) I don't recommend telling flight attendant you are a fearful flyer. Twice I've had that backfire with them coming over to me seat. "How's my fearful year doing?" they each loudly said. They were trying to be kind but calling attention to it actually made my situation worse.
(6) Cut yourself some slack. It sucks to be scared of something and the fear doesn't vanish overnight. But beating yourself up makes it worse.

I decided I would never be "cured" and instead had to find a way to manage it. In 2022 I took 3 flights on tiny planes in cool international destinations - 10-15 seaters. Even asked to (and got to) ride in the copilot seat of one. But here's the thing: I was still scared. It just didn't stop me like it used to.

I wish you the best and most sincere luck on this personal journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a prescription for Xanax for flying when I was in college, and somehow at one point some rando guy gave me a Valium to try and then after taking it - I had an epiphany that I more likely to die of drug overdose while self-medicating than in a plane crash and I have pretty much been fine since then! I kind of now just repeat to myself: “flying is the safest way to travel” before I get on a plane.

I think really the point is that it’s an irrational fear, and that you do a lot of other things that are more dangerous that you don’t worry about.

That’s an odd story. Most fears are irrational but knowing that doesn’t help. A lot of people on the plane used alcohol or Xanax to calm their fears. Xanax or something similar is the best solution. That’s why doctors prescribe 2 or 3 tablets for flights. No one is overdosing on that.

It was about the Valium but I don’t think mixing Xanax and alcohol is recommended?

Correct, it is warned against. Also minimum script for Xanax is 10 x .25mg not 2 or 3 pills.

There is no “minimum script” for controlled substances.

[Anonymous]

Listen to the fear of flying podcast by Liz Moody.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry for what you're going through, and I know the feeling all too well. Every flight for me was like signing up to possibly die. I would say goodbye to people as if I may never see them again. Every minute of the flight I felt like I was fighting for my life. The days leading up were physically draining and I would be teary, and then when I finally arrived at my destination, I would feel sick and have a raging headache for hours - which was due to the crazy adrenaline and stress from the flight. It was ridiculous. I want you to know that it can get better. After about 15 years of going through that and skipping weddings, funerals, family trips, work conferences to avoid flying, I now don't even bat an eye at it. I still can't believe it's true. Here's what helped me:

1) EMDR therapy
2) I now take a daily anti-anxiey med and it's been life-changing (I was anxious in other ways too)
3) doing a lot of online reading about how planes work, the process of flight, self-help articles written by pilots and really grasping that the odds of a plane crash were truly in my favor.

I tried talk therapy, but it didn't really do much. It wasn't until I did about 4 sessions of EMDR and added the daily anti-anxiety med that it changed everything for me. I have since flown overseas twice, to Hawaii, and across country twice. Anything more than a 2 hour flight used to be a non-starter for me. I'm excited for my upcoming trip to CA!

Good luck - it can get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a prescription for Xanax for flying when I was in college, and somehow at one point some rando guy gave me a Valium to try and then after taking it - I had an epiphany that I more likely to die of drug overdose while self-medicating than in a plane crash and I have pretty much been fine since then! I kind of now just repeat to myself: “flying is the safest way to travel” before I get on a plane.

I think really the point is that it’s an irrational fear, and that you do a lot of other things that are more dangerous that you don’t worry about.

That’s an odd story. Most fears are irrational but knowing that doesn’t help. A lot of people on the plane used alcohol or Xanax to calm their fears. Xanax or something similar is the best solution. That’s why doctors prescribe 2 or 3 tablets for flights. No one is overdosing on that.

It was about the Valium but I don’t think mixing Xanax and alcohol is recommended?

Correct, it is warned against. Also minimum script for Xanax is 10 x .25mg not 2 or 3 pills.

There is no “minimum script” for controlled substances.

Yes, there is.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think many people actually enjoy flying in airplanes. ✈️

I know that it is not my favorite thing in the world to do.
Because even though it is MUCH safer than driving - I still hate the lack of control I continually feel while on a flight.

In a car, behind the wheel > at least I feel I have some control.
Shows how irrational this phobia actually is.

My best advice is to take an anti-anxiety pill prior to boarding and maybe possibly taking a nap 😴 while in the air.

After that ~ there is not much else you can do!

Happy flying!

[Anonymous]

I had a girlfriend about 30 years ago who was afraid of flying. She went a program at National Airport that helped a lot. I have no idea if it still exists but maybe there’s another one in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a prescription for Xanax for flying when I was in college, and somehow at one point some rando guy gave me a Valium to try and then after taking it - I had an epiphany that I more likely to die of drug overdose while self-medicating than in a plane crash and I have pretty much been fine since then! I kind of now just repeat to myself: “flying is the safest way to travel” before I get on a plane.

I think really the point is that it’s an irrational fear, and that you do a lot of other things that are more dangerous that you don’t worry about.

That’s an odd story. Most fears are irrational but knowing that doesn’t help. A lot of people on the plane used alcohol or Xanax to calm their fears. Xanax or something similar is the best solution. That’s why doctors prescribe 2 or 3 tablets for flights. No one is overdosing on that.

It was about the Valium but I don’t think mixing Xanax and alcohol is recommended?

Correct, it is warned against. Also minimum script for Xanax is 10 x .25mg not 2 or 3 pills.

There is no “minimum script” for controlled substances.

There’s no minimum script for anti-anxiety medication, you’re right. They sometimes give just one pill before an MRI or similar tests. Valium, Xanax same category and no you shouldn’t mix alcohol.

[Anonymous]

For me flying is a lot like going to the dentist, I am so glad when I walk out of there with my feet on the ground. But I've gotten a lot better.

1. I finally figured out that planes are not going to just drop out of the sky (I mean, not without some kind of nose dive disaster). Think about paper airplanes, they keep going for a ways.
2. Turbulence is like being on a boat going fast over waves on a lake, the lake holds the boat up.
3. This will sound very strange, but the first time I flew after 9/11 was to DC (I live in flyover land). I had a Vanity Fair magazine that had a very long piece about the attacks. Somehow reading about the absolute worst that could happen made my ride seem like no big deal. I've never been as scared since that flight.
4. A small bottle of wine doesn't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Yes to EMDR therapy! Tremendously helpful to this formerly fearful flyer.

My fears of flying are mostly claustrophobia related - and to a slightly lesser, extent travel phobia and fear of unfamiliar.

I also have a rx for Xanax. I’m a strict teetotaler so can’t recommend mixing with any alcohol.

I have all sorts of tricks and tips re Xanax that I can share if you go this route.