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[quote=Anonymous]Going on 20yrs of fear. Improved over the years fortunately. 
I saw a psych that gave me crazy cocktail of meds for flights I *had* to take. Made me comatose and nearly had to go to airport infirmary. 0/10
Tried a therapist that flew with me on regular commercial flight DCA - NYC roundtrip. Useless. Told her I was cured to stop seeing her.
Did nothing for years and avoided flying.
Flew some places and just cried on plane.

In recent years I've done the following and it has helped immensely:
(1) Ask the Pilot book like PP mentions *and* his blog -- he explains a number of things. 
(2) Talked to military pilot friend about all the noises. Took a while but I realized that not knowing exactly what certain noises were made me think they were bad. In one instance, he taught me that I WANT to hear a certain kind of noise to know everything is ok. Now when I hear it, it actually relaxes me. But I also know that if I don't, there are fine reasons for that too. 
(3) Xanax takes the edge off. Just knowing that I have the pills available (and I've only added this my regime very recently) helps prevent panic in weeks leading up to flight. I don't think it will take me out of a panic but I keep myself steady with the knowledge the med will do the rest. This was really the missing piece for me and can't believe no previous PCP suggested it.
(4) If possible, book carriers that have in-seat entertainment. Although of course putting it on your own device works too. I don't have TV or streaming services at home so this just adds a bit of bonus for me flipping thru offerings.
(5) Crosswords etc as PP mentions. However I find they can't be too hard or my brain reverts to bad thoughts. If I'm zipping thru a puzzle I'm remaining distracted. And doing them in print is better than phone for me. Tactile helps with focus.
(7) I don't recommend telling flight attendant you are a fearful flyer. Twice I've had that backfire with them coming over to me seat. "How's my fearful year doing?" they each loudly said. They were trying to be kind but calling attention to it actually made my situation worse.
(6) Cut yourself some slack. It sucks to be scared of something and the fear doesn't vanish overnight. But beating yourself up makes it worse.

I decided I would never be "cured" and instead had to find a way to manage it. In 2022 I took 3 flights on tiny planes in cool international destinations - 10-15 seaters. Even asked to (and got to) ride in the copilot seat of one. But here's the thing: I was still scared. It just didn't stop me like it used to.

I wish you the best and most sincere luck on this personal journey. [/quote]

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