Has anyone successfully overcome a fear of flying?
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Anonymous
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I know this sounds ridiculous, so bear with me. I am in my early 30s and absolutely hate flying - I do fly 2-3x a year out of necessity (mostly 2-3 hour flights) but have never been overseas due to this fear. I tell people that for me, flying feels like sitting there for hours feeling like I’m about to die. I know rationally there are thousands of safe flights a day, etc., but it scares me regardless.
Long story short, I am going overseas this fall and it will be a LONG flight. I am dreading it, and it’s putting a damper on what will be an amazing vacation. Has anyone ever gotten over something like this? |
Anonymous
I was never quite so afraid of flying as you in the sense that I didn't avoid travel (although I chose trains whenever I could) but I can certainly relate to sitting there waiting to die. I'm mostly over it. First, I got on Zoloft -- relatively low dose but has been quite effective for me in reducing anxiety generally. Second, I take a Xanax 30 minutes before the flight. Third, I keep an airplane bottle of bourbon in my purse and drink it while the plane takes off. (Don't do this when a flight attendant is watching!) Then I do something mindless during the flight. I still feel somewhat nervous but it is not debilitating, and has gotten less over time. I've also tried meditating and reminding myself that planes are quite safe and everything is normal but my Xanax-bourbon combo is much more effective. 
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Anonymous
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Try this:
Airline Course Looks to Overcome Fear in the Skies - The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/02/travel/fear-of-flying-course-british-airways.html |
Anonymous
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I got a prescription for Xanax for flying when I was in college, and somehow at one point some rando guy gave me a Valium to try and then after taking it - I had an epiphany that I more likely to die of drug overdose while self-medicating than in a plane crash and I have pretty much been fine since then! I kind of now just repeat to myself: “flying is the safest way to travel” before I get on a plane.
I think really the point is that it’s an irrational fear, and that you do a lot of other things that are more dangerous that you don’t worry about. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I was horribly afraid of flying for a while. I even had a few awful, bumpy rides where I thought the plane might crash. But each time it didn't, and I realized planes can handle a ton of pressure.
I actually do better on longer flights: bigger planes tend to bounce around less, and I feel more settled in. A few suggestions: 1) Buy a movie to watch that you've really wanted to see (or check to see if it's on the airline system). Download an entire season of a crappy romcom/reality dating show. Great distrations 2) Do you do crosswords/wordle/etc? Do those on takeoff. Again, great distrations. 3) Agree on a very low dose of Zoloft or similar-- I never took one but know people who have 4) Talk to the pilot in advance. Tell them you're scared, ask what to expect on the flight. I actually find it helpful when they say there will be turbulence in advance because then it's not unexpected (I used to panic when the pilot would come on the intercom and tersely say, "Flight attendents, take your jump seats" ...thinking it was about to get really bumpy. But now it's happened so often I'm more used to it. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| Yes. Meditation, CBT and Xanax if needed. |
Anonymous
| I don't particularly like flying but I've flown enough and with small children that the noises and bumps are familiar. Just label each noise you hear--it might be the overhead bins, the pilot/flight attendant suddenly coming on the loudspeaker, guys loading luggage in the cargo hold, the pilot testing the flaps, the air nozzle blowing air at your face, the engines, the luggage sliding back, wheels going up after takeoff, wheels coming down in preparation for landing. During the ride if there is turbulence, close your eyes and pretend you are riding on a bumpy dirt road, driving up and down lots of hills, or riding a roller coaster. It's going to shimmy and go over rising air thermals like bumps on a road. It's all normal. If you get worried look at the faces of the flight attendants. If they aren't worried, you shouldn't be. During take-off, read the magazine, look at the maps, decide where it would be fun to travel, use a fidget cube, do the crossword puzzle. As soon as you are in the air, just be amazed at the clouds or the view. It helps to have a window seat, or if you don't like that, close the window shade and try to sleep. You can also people watch, daydream, or reflect on your life. Realize you're not the one flying the plane. You don't have to be in control. Let the pilots worry about it. When the plane is about to land, say to yourself the runway is just ahead even if you can't see it. Some airports are right near a coast and there is water right before the runway. You just have to blindly believe the runway is there. The pilot sees it even if you don't. |
Anonymous
| Yes a terrible on after 9/11. I ended up reading the book “Ask the Pilot” by Patrick Smith. It made me feel safer. It took a while but now I fly weekly and don’t feel afraid |
Anonymous
| I have a terrible fear also, but I find the more I fly, the easier it gets. At the end of a long overseas flight, I get so tired of just being on the plane that I forget about my fear. |
Anonymous
That’s an odd story. Most fears are irrational but knowing that doesn’t help. A lot of people on the plane used alcohol or Xanax to calm their fears. Xanax or something similar is the best solution. That’s why doctors prescribe 2 or 3 tablets for flights. No one is overdosing on that. |
Anonymous
| Xanax 1 hour before flight leaves. |
Anonymous
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Yes I actually have. I used to get sweats anytime I hit the smallest amount of turbulence.
I unfortunately don't remember which one it was, but I downloaded some guided meditations from Spotify specifically about fear of flying. I listened to them beforehand and during, along with some general guided meditations for anxiety. |
Anonymous
It was about the Valium but I don’t think mixing Xanax and alcohol is recommended? |
Anonymous
| Back when I was an active flight instructor, I had at least a couple of students who sought out flight lessons specifically to address their fear of flying. We took it slow - lots of ground instruction, lots of briefing what would happen before we took off, nice easy gentle flights. They said it helped, but maybe they were just trying to make me feel good? I know it's not for everyone, but something to consider if the root of the fear is feeling out of control or not understanding what is happening. |
Anonymous
Correct, it is warned against. Also minimum script for Xanax is 10 x .25mg not 2 or 3 pills. 
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