Downsizing In Laws

[Anonymous]

Now that the weather is getting nice, yard sale will get rid of it, OP. Almost nothing should be stored at all. Or list hours on a buy nothing group for people to come by.

Get ILs moved first, grab anything sentimental or especially valuable. If there are some valuables, use that $ to pay to get the house cleared. People will stage and staff a sale.

Can you give some examples of the types of things you are storing?

[Anonymous]

You need an estate sale and a dumpster, in that order.

Being "poor" doesn't mean they can't fly here from Texas or California for a week to help.

Lesson for everyone else: throw away your crap and downsize before you're too old and sick to do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Agree that the best option is to trash most/sell what you can. But if your ILs are slowing down the process or resisting getting rid of things, just dump it all in a storage unit. The stuff can wait. Go back to it a year from now (or later).

[Anonymous]

OP, it seems like your problem is one of sorting, not clean-out.

The order of operations should be:
1. Figure out what is moving with inlaws to the new apartment and move them. Importantly: this does not require sorting through the attic or making decisions about family heirlooms or treasures or what goes to storage. You are purely figuring out what will fit in the new place and be with them for their remaining years.
2. Figure out what of their remaining things are precious/valuable to you or whoever cares.
3. Bring in someone to do an estate sale/cleanout of everything else.
4. Sell the house.

[Anonymous]

"You" can't do it anymore. It's DH's family -- it's his problem.

[Anonymous]

Once the ILs are in the new place, they will have little/no memory of what specifically is in the attic, or anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

Have them pack what they need and can fit in their new place. When we moved my grandparents into AL this was their clothes, shoes, and toiletries/meds, and furniture to fit their new place. Which was their bedroom furniture for the bedroom; couch, recliner, end tables, coffee table, TV, and a smaller bookshelf for the living room (they had some other smaller stuff, lamps, some books and personal items, but those were the main things, and a lot of the smaller stuff was new and not brought from their old place); and my mom brought them a small kitchen table and chairs to fit in their new kitchen area. And they had a small amount of kitchen stuff but not much because the facility provided meals.

Other than the basics - you gotta trash. They can’t take a 4 bedroom house of stuff to a 700 sq ft condo. Don’t bother “going through” anything unless they have a fine art collection or something, in which case hire an estate sale company. Your sanity is worth the $$$. If they discover that they need xyz in their new home, they can buy new. My grandparents complained bitterly about not having their own Christmas lights and ornaments from their house but it had to go.

[Anonymous]

If your in-laws are still aware of their stuff have them pick out the essentials that will fit into their new life. Then just call one of those junk removal services to deal with the rest.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

It isn't trash. My FIL was very senior in the State DEpartmnet and spent a lot of time in Persia. There are dozens of rugs worth thousands each, countless woerks of art that could be worth $50 or $50,000. There are the usual boxes of magazines and records comingled with a century of family photos. My MIL has pre war Japanese china and a few crockery pieces that supposedly came from England in the 17th century. It isn't junk and it takes time t properly pack and store. DH doesn't want to part with it and wnats to keep it in the family.

Sorry, they aren't like your inlaws living in trailers on cat food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It isn't trash. My FIL was very senior in the State DEpartmnet and spent a lot of time in Persia. There are dozens of rugs worth thousands each, countless woerks of art that could be worth $50 or $50,000. There are the usual boxes of magazines and records comingled with a century of family photos. My MIL has pre war Japanese china and a few crockery pieces that supposedly came from England in the 17th century. It isn't junk and it takes time t properly pack and store. DH doesn't want to part with it and wnats to keep it in the family.

Sorry, they aren't like your inlaws living in trailers on cat food.

Wow, you’re a real see you next Tuesday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It isn't trash. My FIL was very senior in the State DEpartmnet and spent a lot of time in Persia. There are dozens of rugs worth thousands each, countless woerks of art that could be worth $50 or $50,000. There are the usual boxes of magazines and records comingled with a century of family photos. My MIL has pre war Japanese china and a few crockery pieces that supposedly came from England in the 17th century. It isn't junk and it takes time t properly pack and store. DH doesn't want to part with it and wnats to keep it in the family.

Sorry, they aren't like your inlaws living in trailers on cat food.

Wow, you’re a real see you next Tuesday.

Right? Yikes, OP. You don't sound like a nice person at all.

[Anonymous]

Look at Weschler’s website. That will give you a good idea if anything you have is valuable. People will claim stuff is valuable and on that website you will see most stuff is not unfortunately. And does your husband really want the stuff or does he feel guilty for getting rid of it? It’s great there are rugs, but can you really put them in your house, cause in storage they can get ruined very easily. I agree with other posters, get them out and see what is left. Move what you want to storage but make an effort to go each month and throw stuff away. If by the end of the year, decide what really is worth saving. You will find it is not much.

[Anonymous]

OP, I just went thru this my own parent.

Has the house been listed for sale? I ask because once we listed our childhood home through a local “neighborhood specialist” Realtor ™️ 😉, the outsourcing began! Realtor called in her stagers, offered junk haulers, offered to have an estate sale, had her painters come through, full service.

Now for me/us, my parent was totally in charge (to a fault) and wanted to sort through items, called in a favor to a friend with a truck and really didn’t want the adult children to do anything. All said, had our parent wanted to pack up and move quicker than what we did, it absolutely could have been done.

Your method isn’t working. Get ILs moved and settled immediately, like now. Some to many assisted living communities can also be a valuable resource- and have their own recommended movers, handymen, installers - all offered at my parent’s eventual new independent living community. Those places want new residents to move in right away, too so they have it all figured out.

[Anonymous]

Holy moly! I was on your side till your last post. What a rude person. So money isn't the problem. They obviously have a lot according to you. Why doesn't your husband arrange for paid help with his parents' money if they are so rich?

BTW, my family is ultra high net worth. We hire help.

[Anonymous]

Wait, you are going to store some of these belongings?? That is ridiculous. Throw away, sell or donate should be the only options. If you suspect some items are valuable, contact an appraiser and ask if they can recommend a person to list and sell. For the donations, find someone that picks up.

I have spent the last 6 weeks going thru my recently deceased family member’s home. It’s a HUGE and thankless job. Good luck to you.