47 with a 9 yo. Feel exhausted

[Anonymous]

Im 44 with a 3 year old. Im tired. I hope it gets better but your comment scares me. I’ll admit I didn’t think about the little details of motherhood when I decided to have a kid this late in life…but I'm here and I know that exercising helps. Keep doing your morning workouts for yourself and your health.

[Anonymous]

I’m your age with a 10yo and 8yo but it sounds like you’re doing a lot more work than me. I have a condition that makes me tired.

I used to do it all when the kids were younger but that was not sustainable.

My DH and I divide duties: he drives the kids to activities, does dishes. I cook, clean, manage the kids and HH. This has been working for us for the most part.

I think they say the minimum recommended amount of sleep is 7.

[Anonymous]

I’m 48 with an 18 yr old. Just reading your subject line makes me feel exhausted! Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

I think you would have felt this regardless of age. Parenting is hard and 38 is not that old to have a baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for responding. OP here I do have thyroid. I see my other friends being done in 3-4 years but I am in long haul as the 9 yo will not be in college anytime soon. I dream of retired life where I am not waking up early in morning to pack lunches and make breakfast or rushing home to cook dinner and drive around activities. I know it sounds horrible but I just would like to get a book and curl up or for once just live for my self. Sounds horrible I know but I didn’t really live my life on my terms or my way just living for others all the time.

My 9 year old was fairly independent. Are you coddling yours? I definitely had time to read a book, do a puzzle whatever. I also get into bed at 9 and my kids know I'm done for the night.

[Anonymous]

Excercise should not come before sleep. You don’t need to do long workouts at your age. 30 minutes of strength training or a walk is plenty. You need more sleep!

[Anonymous]

I am 44 with a 16 and 13 year old. I have an involved husband and I only work part time. We don’t presently have any elder care duties yet but the grandparents aren’t and have never been helpful.

And I’m so tired. I get a full work up at the doctor every year and it’s always been clear except “here take this vitamin D.” I don’t exercise much because I’m so tired! I know that’s part of the issue.

No advice just commiseration.

[Anonymous]

I am 60 with a 20-year-old, and an 18-year-old, so I was exactly where you are when I was your age it is exhausting and I like you wished I had kids when I was younger but that was not in my timeline as I didn't even meet my husband until I was 36. What worked for me is I learned how to compartmentalize. When I was at work, I was at work. When I left work and was with my family, I really tried to focus on my family. I was a member of a gym and I would go to work out on my way home from work a couple times a week. The gym was located between my house and my office. If it was not, it might've been more difficult because I really had it fitted into my routine like that. That was all pre-Covid, Now, with all of our capabilities to work from home, I work out at lunch in my basement. Of course now my kids are in college, so I only see them when they come home on breaks.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, op. I’m 52 and my kids are in middle school and play club sports so I often do get home until 830/9. One is on the top team and likely to stick with it through high school and I’m - so - over - it.

[Anonymous]

I am 41 with 8 year old & 5 year old. I am exhausted daily. I know someone who are younger than me, and their kids are either teenager & adult. I am jealous.

I will be 57 & DH will be 59 when our youngest is 21 years old.

[Anonymous]

This is why I wouldn’t have a baby past 37 or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you would have felt this regardless of age. Parenting is hard and 38 is not that old to have a baby

+1. When my mom was 47, she had a newborn & a 3 yo (plus 3 high school/college kids). She didn’t seem any more tired than other moms of babies & preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

Can you go to bed earlier? I am older than you with similar age kid. I work and am busy but not tired. I go to bed at 9 pm and get up early like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my mom was 47 she had kids 5, 11, 12 and 14 yrs old, a full time job, a house to take care of, not enough income and that's when her marriage fell apart. She was exhausted all the time and really struggled getting us all through our teen years. She was a great mom but it was rough. We all turned out pretty good though.

I had my kids young, when I was 47 my granddaughter was five. Lots of people now look down on that but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

How the hell could you be a grandmother at 42? That is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom was 47 she had kids 5, 11, 12 and 14 yrs old, a full time job, a house to take care of, not enough income and that's when her marriage fell apart. She was exhausted all the time and really struggled getting us all through our teen years. She was a great mom but it was rough. We all turned out pretty good though.

I had my kids young, when I was 47 my granddaughter was five. Lots of people now look down on that but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

How the hell could you be a grandmother at 42? That is disgusting.

Disgusting? I have friends who got married and had their first child in their early 20s in college. If their parents had kids around the same age, they could easily be grandparents in early 40s. My friends had two kids, were done having kids by mid 20s, and the mom went back for a graduate degree when her youngest started preschool.