Sent daughter to school with cramps

[Anonymous]

I am trying to teach my kids to determine for themselves whether or not they need to stay home due to illness. I’ve explained that some illnesses are more severe than others, and they need to be able to gauge whether or not they can make it through the day. We’ve told them that some jobs may not give them sick days and so they will need to be thoughtful about how they use days off. if they can figure this out in high school, it will serve them well in college and a professional environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can chart her cycles (the Oura ring can do this with the Natural Cycles app without any work on the user’s part…it will track the temp rise after ovulation and she can know when to expect her period even if her cycle is irregular). If ibuprofen is started the day *before* the period starts, the cramps are mostly prevented and the pain is much less than waiting until it gets bad and then treating.

I have a medical condition that prevents me from being able to take hormones…the pill isn’t an option for everyone. But this has been life changing for me.

Good idea. I was never on BC either, but did track my temperature. I didn't know about the Oura for this. I'm not opposed to BC, btw.

[Anonymous]

I stayed home when necessary. So did my Mom. Horrible cramps runs in our family, though. Doubled over, nauseous, etc.

Op if she asked to stay home and doesn't normally, I think you should have let her stay home.

My manager used to stay home and so did I on particularly bad days. All of a sudden going pale and doubling over in the middle of the office? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you imagine if women took off every time they had cramps.

Nope!

Can you imagine if women stayed home when they determined it was necessary?

[Anonymous]

It’s up to her. If she felt bad enough, she could definitely stay home.

What I find ridiculous is I need to fill out a form and bring it to the school to allow her to bring Advil in her backpack. Meanwhile, god know what kids are vaping in the bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I missed school a lot of cramps. A lot. I ended up doing well academically - I’m a doctor now so it didn’t impact me that way but I’m so mad my mom didn’t put me on birth control or help to control these issues earlier. As a young professional, I’d miss work due to how severe they were. In the end a wonderful NP worked with me to get an IUD and it changed my life.

j

+1. I probably missed at least two days of school per month. We would get a letter each year about how I would be “failed” because I missed too much school. My mom would call the school and say “she has straight As” and they kept promoting me. Looking back, I am appalled at my parent’s ignoring this. I probably took 10-20 extra strength Tylenol a day. I’m lucky my liver didn’t conk out. So, I think it is fine you sent her today — but keep an eye on this.

[Anonymous]

Op can she take 500mg Naproxen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I stayed home when necessary. So did my Mom. Horrible cramps runs in our family, though. Doubled over, nauseous, etc.

Op if she asked to stay home and doesn't normally, I think you should have let her stay home.

My manager used to stay home and so did I on particularly bad days. All of a sudden going pale and doubling over in the middle of the office? No thanks.

Agree with this. First of all, just because we powered through and were miserable at school with cramps does not mean our daughters need to do the same. We can be more compassionate than our mothers. Second, some months and some period symptoms are truly disabling. My kid is undone with both PMDD symptoms before her period each month, including "pre" cramping, and then actual cramps in the first day or two of her period. I think we'd all benefit from listening more to our kids and trying to understand how they are affected by hormones - it's really different for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Wow I’m surprised by a lot of these responses. I absolutely stayed home from school if I had bad cramps and would go in once they subsided. My cramps were debilitating and would sometimes make me vomit. I don’t have a daughter now but if I did, I’d do the same for her.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I let them skip whenever they needed to. They also carried Advil with them.

[Anonymous]

only a few times..

[Anonymous]

I never stayed home and actually really suffered because of it. It wasn't an option in my mind.

Now I also had really really awful cramps. I wish I'd been more empowered on how to manage them. I don't think anyone (even me) realized how bad they were. Teach her how to manage her cramps with advil. Taking more than needed for a few days is fine. Make sure she takes it with food.

Also, midol helps WAY more than I ever realized. Once I started smuggling my own advil/midol in my bag in high school (yes it's against the rules) my life got much better.

[Anonymous]

OP here- thanks for the advice! I think in the future I'll let her determine for herself. I do think it's important for kids to have some autonomy!

This was the first time she's had cramps that needed medicine, but she is OK now she said. I told her I would pick her up if they started getting awful again.

[Anonymous]

I don't wanna put her on BC but her cramps are pretty bad. She keeps asking for BC ya know because her friend is on BC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I missed school a lot of cramps. A lot. I ended up doing well academically - I’m a doctor now so it didn’t impact me that way but I’m so mad my mom didn’t put me on birth control or help to control these issues earlier. As a young professional, I’d miss work due to how severe they were. In the end a wonderful NP worked with me to get an IUD and it changed my life.

You’re a doctor, you didn’t figure out a solution until you were a “young professional” yourself, and yet you’re mad at your mom?!

Grow up.