Does a woman need to be high-drive to have a long-term happy marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of men who are not high drive so if a low drive woman marries one of those it should also be a recipe for long term happiness.

Being low-drive is not exactly something people put on their OLD dating profile.

Many aren’t low drive when dating. Often they can’t get enough. It’s after they settle down and newness wears off that the drive settles.

[Anonymous]

Hormones fluctuate. You don’t know what will happen after pregnancies. Peri menopause, thyroid issues or illness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 2 recent divorces I know of were women cheating. Late 40s/early 50s.

Don’t think it was drive incompatibility. I think it was boredom and wanting a new life.

Doubt they will be high drive in another marriage—-though neither ended up with their AP.

Women are cheating just as much or more in some age groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My observation has been that almost all happy marriages are between high-drive spouses.

This seems to be quite unfair to low-drive women. Divorced female friends in their 50s who do not feel like jumping into bed every second day seem to have a very hard time keeping a relationship.

What is your opinion?

Divorced women in their 50s should be eyeing healthy men in their late 60s- their libidos will match and they probably will look like peers.

And they can be their caretaker in a few short years

[Anonymous]

Drive and thinness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My observation has been that almost all happy marriages are between high-drive spouses.

This seems to be quite unfair to low-drive women. Divorced female friends in their 50s who do not feel like jumping into bed every second day seem to have a very hard time keeping a relationship.

What is your opinion?

Divorced women in their 50s should be eyeing healthy men in their late 60s- their libidos will match and they probably will look like peers.

You think women in their fifties look the same age as men in their late sixties??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My observation has been that almost all happy marriages are between high-drive spouses.

This seems to be quite unfair to low-drive women. Divorced female friends in their 50s who do not feel like jumping into bed every second day seem to have a very hard time keeping a relationship.

What is your opinion?

Divorced women in their 50s should be eyeing healthy men in their late 60s- their libidos will match and they probably will look like peers.

You think women in their fifties look the same age as men in their late sixties??

Yes

[Anonymous]

Married 20 years, mid-forties...I have a higher drive than my wife. It was an issue when we first moved in together but we've learned over the years how to make things work for both of us.

[Anonymous]

The sex drives have to be matched for long term success in a marriage. We were pretty compatible prior to kids. I had no sex drive during my pregnancies and the early years with really young kids. Now, mine has picked back up but he has low to no sex drive. He says it's stress and being tired from juggling work and dealing with kids. Who knows the truth. But I'm not happy.

[Anonymous]

I am a formally high drive wife. My husband has always been a high drive male. I still approach him for sex as if I were a high drive. My attitude is fake it till you make it. I found if I approach him we have a great time he enjoys it because he feels handsome and sexy and I know it makes him happy. I know sex is important to him so I continue to have sex couple times a week. Even though if I had my druthers, I'd be happy to decrease it to once a month or once every two months. He has no idea that my sex drive has decreased to such a level because then he wouldn't enjoy it as much with me.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have this impression because people on DCUM tend to brag about having high drives and having a high drive spouse. Someone who has a low sex drive, especially if it's a man, is unlikely to feel advertise it. And of course people don't usually talk about a libido disparity except to complain about their marriage.

DH and I are both sort of low-ish drive and we have a happy marriage. You can also have a happy marriage with a libido disparity; often when sex causes big problems in a marriage it's more about an underlying problem than the sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a formally high drive wife. My husband has always been a high drive male. I still approach him for sex as if I were a high drive. My attitude is fake it till you make it. I found if I approach him we have a great time he enjoys it because he feels handsome and sexy and I know it makes him happy. I know sex is important to him so I continue to have sex couple times a week. Even though if I had my druthers, I'd be happy to decrease it to once a month or once every two months. He has no idea that my sex drive has decreased to such a level because then he wouldn't enjoy it as much with me.

I'm a formerly high drive wife and I don't pretend otherwise and I have a happy marriage. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

I’m clueless about having a high drive relative to others because I never discuss it with my friends. We’ve been married 33 years and we have sex at least once a week and I really look forward to it. My husband doesn’t nag me about doing it more because when we do have sex I really get into it. If one of us had no drive that would be a problem. I guess if you are compatible that’s a very good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m clueless about having a high drive relative to others because I never discuss it with my friends. We’ve been married 33 years and we have sex at least once a week and I really look forward to it. My husband doesn’t nag me about doing it more because when we do have sex I really get into it. If one of us had no drive that would be a problem. I guess if you are compatible that’s a very good thing.

The key is not the woman’s drive but the man being good in bed and not a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a formally high drive wife. My husband has always been a high drive male. I still approach him for sex as if I were a high drive. My attitude is fake it till you make it. I found if I approach him we have a great time he enjoys it because he feels handsome and sexy and I know it makes him happy. I know sex is important to him so I continue to have sex couple times a week. Even though if I had my druthers, I'd be happy to decrease it to once a month or once every two months. He has no idea that my sex drive has decreased to such a level because then he wouldn't enjoy it as much with me.

I'm a formerly high drive wife and I don't pretend otherwise and I have a happy marriage. YMMV.

Same. Biology works that the majority of women will have significantly reduced libido by menopause.