Does a woman need to be high-drive to have a long-term happy marriage?
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Anonymous
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My observation has been that almost all happy marriages are between high-drive spouses. This seems to be quite unfair to low-drive women. Divorced female friends in their 50s who do not feel like jumping into bed every second day seem to have a very hard time keeping a relationship. What is your opinion? |
Anonymous
| There are plenty of men who are not high drive so if a low drive woman marries one of those it should also be a recipe for long term happiness. |
Anonymous
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I’m medium low drive. Very happily married twenty years. DH is I guess medium high drive. I think it works for us for a few reasons:
- DH makes sure I come first every time - I’m able to always come - only one kid means we have more free time and more privacy. - I really like him, and want to stay in a happy marriage, so make sure to build it into our schedule |
Anonymous
| Not if you find a low drive man. Just be sure you do and not lead some average drive guy along until you finally reveal you have no interest in the same level as him. |
Anonymous
Divorced women in their 50s should be eyeing healthy men in their late 60s- their libidos will match and they probably will look like peers. |
Anonymous
| No. Depends on the couple. |
Anonymous
How many people could you have possibly asked about this??? I have a much higher drive than my husband, and I think this is more common than you think. Our happiness comes from each of us choosing to make the other person happy. For him it may be having sex, for me it may be making him a favorite meal. A happy marriage is where people do this willingly and without resentment. |
Anonymous
| sexual "drive" is an essential part of a male-female marriage. if one of the parties is not interested, that's a problem. |
Anonymous
| Keep in mind that sex drive is mostly driven by testosterone in both men and women and through a lifetime testosterone levels can change for various reasons. |
Anonymous
Being low-drive is not exactly something people put on their OLD dating profile. |
Anonymous
| I don’t have a very high drive at all but CHOOSE to have sex with my high drive husband frequently, because I know it makes him happy. |
Anonymous
| Drive is not a static thing. We were well matched in our 20’s. When they kids were little mine dropped a lot and his stayed high. Now the kids are older, mine is back but his has dropped due to age I guess. Regardless we do our best and make it work out of mutual love and respect. Still very happily married. |
Anonymous
+1 Mismatched sexual desires will either need to be resolved or you're just delaying the inevitable divorce / affair. |
Anonymous
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Your observation OP? How do you know so many details about other couples sex drives?
My drive is still med high at 50 but l stopped being able to have sex with my ExH a couple years before we separated. This was due to our deteriorating relationship, the root of the problem wasn’t sex drives. How in the world would a person outside of our marriage “observe” that? |
Anonymous
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The 2 recent divorces I know of were women cheating. Late 40s/early 50s.
Don’t think it was drive incompatibility. I think it was boredom and wanting a new life. Doubt they will be high drive in another marriage—-though neither ended up with their AP. |