Father in 50's, Mother in 40's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what you're even asking.

Logistics, hurdles, hacks, advice ... whatever helped or complicated it for you. In hindsight what would've made your life easier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have lots of money.

Not lots but both parents professionals and finally student debt and mortgage of a small home paid off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 18 year difference with my husband. We live a normal life.

Normal to who ?

[Anonymous]

I'm 43, DH is 51, DC is 5. We live a life like anyone else. Not sure what any issues would be that other families might not have?

[Anonymous]

My husband is in his 50s and I am in my 40s. Our children are in their 20's and late teens.

I don't understand what kind of advice you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what you're even asking.

Logistics, hurdles, hacks, advice ... whatever helped or complicated it for you. In hindsight what would've made your life easier?

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of information are you looking for?

I am turning 40 and my husband is 52. Our 3 kids are in elementary school.
Are you worried about your age difference?

That is too much of an age difference.

Really? Says who? You?

Says anyone with half a brain.

Okay! You do you! We are perfectly happy with an amazing life and 3 beautiful and smart kids! We have plenty of money to send them to private schools, give them great vacations, pay for all the help we need, etc.
DH is also very athletic and runs marathons and ironman…

Also, we have plenty of brains!

Yeah, it definitely works out for all involved, man is boomer who bought housing and stocks before the 2000s run up, so tons of assets. He focused on career in his 30s and 40s, all the while living like a tomcat stringing women along.

Then in his 40s shacks up with a hot 25 year, sets her up for comfy life and pops out 3 kids which is her life’s work. He continues to focus on career and providing for his hot wife/caretaker.

The only downside is he won’t really spend much time with his kids (he is career focused most likely and just by nature of being old may die when they are relatively young), but he should get them to adulthood. And his DW will likely be widowed young, but with adoring children and a pile of money, she can enjoy her second act.

It’s really a winning formula, you just have to be a ruthless man in your 30s because the women you DO date will want to marry, but you have to keep shutting them down and moving down the age range with each successive girlfriend. Or live like a monk, but that’s not realistic.

The lady said DH is 52. He’s Gen X, not even close to a boomer. Would have finished college around 93, then grad, med, law whatever to 95-2001 depending on what he studied. It’s about the age difference of my parents. That didn’t go so well because, well, he’s a bastard who moved onto wife #3 after 27 years of unhappiness mostly caused by him. As long as there’s no cheating or abandonment IDC what other people do. I prefer someone close in age but plenty of people happily married with big age differences. People just like to judge

[Anonymous]

I'm 53; DH is 59.

We had DC#1 when I was 35, DH 41; DC#2 at 38, and 44, respectively.

DH is a young 59.

Having stated that, it is harder for both of us to make friends with much younger parents. We are at different stages of life and careers. Most of the parents of our kids' friends we became friends with are our age, but DH is still by far, one of the older ones.

Health issues are becoming more common for both of us.

My advice is to try to look and stay younger for as long as your kids are in k-8.

DH will be retiring soon, but I still have a few years left working. So, DH will become a house-husband. That might change the dynamic of our relationship.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids OP? I guess from your question you have babies or are pregnant, right?

You will be older parents, but as long as you are and stay healthy, I am not sure there is anything different about you.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean having kids at that age?

I will be 49 and DH will be 54 when our child is 23.

But I have friends who will be 50 with a 5 year old.

In DCUM upper middle class circles you'll find more of the later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of information are you looking for?

I am turning 40 and my husband is 52. Our 3 kids are in elementary school.
Are you worried about your age difference?

That is too much of an age difference.

Really? Says who? You?

Says anyone with half a brain.

Okay! You do you! We are perfectly happy with an amazing life and 3 beautiful and smart kids! We have plenty of money to send them to private schools, give them great vacations, pay for all the help we need, etc.
DH is also very athletic and runs marathons and ironman…

Also, we have plenty of brains!

Don’t take the troll bait. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. If they were happy people they would not be so negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand what you're even asking.

Logistics, hurdles, hacks, advice ... whatever helped or complicated it for you. In hindsight what would've made your life easier?

1. Have a lot of money. Use the money to make parenting and life easier. Superfund college accounts with the money.
2. Maintain excellent health: diet, no alcohol, lots of exercise.
3. Expect to have more individual friends than couple friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm 47, DH is 55. But...our kids are 20 and 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of information are you looking for?

I am turning 40 and my husband is 52. Our 3 kids are in elementary school.
Are you worried about your age difference?

That is too much of an age difference.

Really? Says who? You?

Says anyone with half a brain.

Okay! You do you! We are perfectly happy with an amazing life and 3 beautiful and smart kids! We have plenty of money to send them to private schools, give them great vacations, pay for all the help we need, etc.
DH is also very athletic and runs marathons and ironman…

Also, we have plenty of brains!

So that old man has no time for you or the kids. Sad!

[Anonymous]

DH had better do what I do:

- get in really good shape, stay in shape, eat healthy, and put himself through the unpleasant but necessary health screenings (colonoscopy, skin cancer screenings, etc), so he can live long enough to get his kids through high school.

Once they are in college, I can drop dead; it would be sad and all, but by then they should be able to handle it, and not everyone lives into their 70s or 80s.

2nd: take on a mindset as if he is still 30, instead of pushing 60. No kid wants “grandpa daddy.”