How would you handle an upset superstar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kind of feel like you need to watch your back here. I think it sucks when medical issues (or kid or parent issues) derail your career. So I understand your desire to extend grace. But . . .

She didn’t apply.
She declined a request to return to work full time so she probably wasn’t eligible.
She turned on you (in a crazy way) when you owed her nothing.

If it was me, I’d let her know that you had no idea she was interested and that you let her know when you let everyone else know. Nothing was hidden. I don’t think I’d offer anything because you really have no idea how, if at all, she might fit in beyond her current role.

Also agree that the employee seems to be tearing irrationally about this so I would be careful saying any of this is about the illness or even PT. She could complain to HR that this is prohibited discrimination etc. Focus completely on how she did not apply or ever even raise the idea or her interest with you.

[Anonymous]

Op made a mistake assuming this employee was not interested because of her health issues.

In my former job, I was having health issues that resolved just in time for a surprise announcement that a promotion was offered to someone to lead my team, and you bet I was upset. I appreciated that my employer valued me enough to let me take leave when needed and gave me privacy so I could recover—but I provided as much value as anyone else my team during that time, even while needing a flexible schedule to rest and take time off. I had gone above and beyond for many years prior. (Yes, think about a flock of geese flying in formation)

No one talked to me about the job, or even asked if I was interested, and the job was not competed or advertised. It hurt. I left shortly after the announcement, moved on and didn’t bother complaining. I hear a lot of people have left and they are having trouble hiring now. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who didn’t get the courtesy of a conversation.

This employee may not want to leave but feel like you’re pushing her out. Especially if she is a high performer even with limitations—she is probably being really hard on herself. You need to give her something she wants if you want her to stay. Probably some kind of special advisor or leadership role.

[Anonymous]

Superstars don’t communicate via “nasty” emails, expressing “how dare you.” If was highly unprofessional. And why would she expect to get a promotion when she didn’t apply? I would send a politely worded email indicating that she didn’t apply, and you were unaware that she was interested. But I would be wary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Superstars don’t communicate via “nasty” emails, expressing “how dare you.” If was highly unprofessional. And why would she expect to get a promotion when she didn’t apply? I would send a politely worded email indicating that she didn’t apply, and you were unaware that she was interested. But I would be wary.

Was it nasty, or was it strong. OP has already showed bias against one protected class. Just because a woman expresses a feeling doesn’t make her nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superstars don’t communicate via “nasty” emails, expressing “how dare you.” If was highly unprofessional. And why would she expect to get a promotion when she didn’t apply? I would send a politely worded email indicating that she didn’t apply, and you were unaware that she was interested. But I would be wary.

Was it nasty, or was it strong. OP has already showed bias against one protected class. Just because a woman expresses a feeling doesn’t make her nasty.

Being sick is not a protected class unless you get qualified as disabled or take FMLA. And that is just protection from firing; being promoted without even applying makes little sense unless it’s an automatic promotion everyone gets for a milestone.

Many people with cancer or autoimmune issues get fired, because they aren’t doing the work expected of them or keeping the hours the job requires. It probably isn’t fair but it’s legal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Superstars don’t communicate via “nasty” emails, expressing “how dare you.” If was highly unprofessional. And why would she expect to get a promotion when she didn’t apply? I would send a politely worded email indicating that she didn’t apply, and you were unaware that she was interested. But I would be wary.

Was it nasty, or was it strong. OP has already showed bias against one protected class. Just because a woman expresses a feeling doesn’t make her nasty.

Being sick is not a protected class unless you get qualified as disabled or take FMLA. And that is just protection from firing; being promoted without even applying makes little sense unless it’s an automatic promotion everyone gets for a milestone.

Many people with cancer or autoimmune issues get fired, because they aren’t doing the work expected of them or keeping the hours the job requires. It probably isn’t fair but it’s legal.

It might not be a lawsuit. But OP was clearly biased. OP needs to examine those biases closely. I doubt she said “how dare you”.

[Anonymous]

Was the job advertised OP??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

It sounds like personal feelings are involved too much here. If she can’t/won’t come in more, her reaction is very over the line and unprofessional.
Don’t worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

It sounds like personal feelings are involved too much here. If she can’t/won’t come in more, her reaction is very over the line and unprofessional.
Don’t worry about it.

OP wants to retain the employee. If so, he needs to be proactive and yes, worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

It sounds like personal feelings are involved too much here. If she can’t/won’t come in more, her reaction is very over the line and unprofessional.
Don’t worry about it.

Maybe she didn’t want to increase her hours doing the same work at the same pay, but would have had the motivation to do more if offered a promotion?

Sometimes people really forget that employees are people, not machines. The lesson here is that if you have a superstar, let them know you feel that way about them, even when they’re not feeling that way themselves.

[Anonymous]

A real superstar is leaving if they get passed over for a promotion

[Anonymous]

She sounds mad at herself and lashing out at you. She didn't even apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op made a mistake assuming this employee was not interested because of her health issues.

In my former job, I was having health issues that resolved just in time for a surprise announcement that a promotion was offered to someone to lead my team, and you bet I was upset. I appreciated that my employer valued me enough to let me take leave when needed and gave me privacy so I could recover—but I provided as much value as anyone else my team during that time, even while needing a flexible schedule to rest and take time off. I had gone above and beyond for many years prior. (Yes, think about a flock of geese flying in formation)

No one talked to me about the job, or even asked if I was interested, and the job was not competed or advertised. It hurt. I left shortly after the announcement, moved on and didn’t bother complaining. I hear a lot of people have left and they are having trouble hiring now. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who didn’t get the courtesy of a conversation.

This employee may not want to leave but feel like you’re pushing her out. Especially if she is a high performer even with limitations—she is probably being really hard on herself. You need to give her something she wants if you want her to stay. Probably some kind of special advisor or leadership role.

Sorry I understand what you are feeling, but it’s also a bit irrational. Was the promotion opportunity posted? If not, then that’s a different issue. If yes, how can you be upset to not have been encouraged to apply when you were on leave. You supervisors probably didn’t want to disturb your privacy while you were on leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op made a mistake assuming this employee was not interested because of her health issues.

In my former job, I was having health issues that resolved just in time for a surprise announcement that a promotion was offered to someone to lead my team, and you bet I was upset. I appreciated that my employer valued me enough to let me take leave when needed and gave me privacy so I could recover—but I provided as much value as anyone else my team during that time, even while needing a flexible schedule to rest and take time off. I had gone above and beyond for many years prior. (Yes, think about a flock of geese flying in formation)

No one talked to me about the job, or even asked if I was interested, and the job was not competed or advertised. It hurt. I left shortly after the announcement, moved on and didn’t bother complaining. I hear a lot of people have left and they are having trouble hiring now. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who didn’t get the courtesy of a conversation.

This employee may not want to leave but feel like you’re pushing her out. Especially if she is a high performer even with limitations—she is probably being really hard on herself. You need to give her something she wants if you want her to stay. Probably some kind of special advisor or leadership role.

Sorry I understand what you are feeling, but it’s also a bit irrational. Was the promotion opportunity posted? If not, then that’s a different issue. If yes, how can you be upset to not have been encouraged to apply when you were on leave. You supervisors probably didn’t want to disturb your privacy while you were on leave.

1. No it wasn’t posted, and 2. I wasn’t on leave, I was working and producing, just less than previously.

Love the use of the word irrational by someone who has dubious reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

This “superstar” wasn’t even working full-time. OP owes her nothing.