How would you handle an upset superstar

[Anonymous]

I had a superstar and I mean superstar employee. She and I had discussed her future, leadership opportunities, etc.

Then about 6 months ago she got very sick. Couldn't work full time any more. The issues haven't gotten better and that's OK. We adjusted her workload appropriately and she's still an incredible valuable member of the team.

Recently we promoted two people and I got a nasty email that how dare we not tell her personally that she wasn't being promoted. To be fair, she wasn't even interviewed or applied for the position so I would never have thought to tell her since she wasn't actually declined.

She is very valuable, I certainly don't want her to feel less. I dont know if part of the response was her frustration over the medical issues that she can't control.

How would you handle with the idea that you want to keep this person?

[Anonymous]

Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

[Anonymous]

With that overreaction, she shows she is probably not a superstar. You have stars in your eyes. She has no humility ot sense of proportion. She did not apply for the job and it sounds like she couldn't have taken it anyway at this point in her life. Her reaction is petulant. That said, maybe she is inexperienced and needs to learn. You need to have a talk with her about EQ matters, office politics, acting entitled. If she learns from it, she's still your superstar. If not, she's going to have a rough road ahead, and you might as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

I think you should tell her exactly that last sentence. Then ask her what her short and mid term goals are regarding her career with your company. She has to own her development and advocate for herself. Closed mouths don’t get fed, and she can’t expect you or anyone else at work to read her mind. If she wants a promotion then she needs to apply for it like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I would apologize and tell her that you'd be happy to help her with her promotion and follow through with that promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would apologize and tell her that you'd be happy to help her with her promotion and follow through with that promise.

Ignore this terrible advice. Do not apologize to this woman or offer to help her with a promotion. In fact, you need to watch your back bc this woman’s sudden hostility towards you likely means she’s probably plotting some sort of discrimination case against you and the company. Be very careful what you say to this woman and do not promise her anything.

[Anonymous]

I kind of feel like you need to watch your back here. I think it sucks when medical issues (or kid or parent issues) derail your career. So I understand your desire to extend grace. But . . .

She didn’t apply.
She declined a request to return to work full time so she probably wasn’t eligible.
She turned on you (in a crazy way) when you owed her nothing.

If it was me, I’d let her know that you had no idea she was interested and that you let her know when you let everyone else know. Nothing was hidden. I don’t think I’d offer anything because you really have no idea how, if at all, she might fit in beyond her current role.

[Anonymous]

Superstar?? She seems manic to me.

[Anonymous]

I’d stop discriminating against her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would apologize and tell her that you'd be happy to help her with her promotion and follow through with that promise.

Do not do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d stop discriminating against her

What part of OPs post was discriminatory?

[Anonymous]

I would tell her that you did not know she was interested in the position (and I do hope that you actually competed the opening? If not, you need to be very careful).

I would ask to meet, and ask her what she wants to see happen in her career, and make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to meet with her. She is mad at herself. Note that she didn't apply and that you would encourage her to do so in the future and that is a valuable part of the team.

I think part of it is that I didn't encourage her to apply so she feels betrayed. Which I completely get but she has actively declined coming back to work full time so I never imagined she could take on more.

I think you should tell her exactly that last sentence. Then ask her what her short and mid term goals are regarding her career with your company. She has to own her development and advocate for herself. Closed mouths don’t get fed, and she can’t expect you or anyone else at work to read her mind. If she wants a promotion then she needs to apply for it like everyone else.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Geese fly information because the goose in the front has to work harder than the geese in the back. Goose in the front eventually has to move to the back and rest otherwise it will die. Slowly the goose in the back moves up to be the goose in the front. Nobody can be the goose in the front all the time.

She unfortunately due to illness had to move to the back but you are going to do everything you can to support her so that she is eventually in the front again.

It’s not a failure it’s teamwork.

https://www.powersresourcecenter.com/five-powerful-leadership-lessons-fromgeese/#:~:text=Like%20geese%2C%20a%20team%20is,my%20favorite%20geese%20fact!).