How do I become this woman when I’m older?

[Anonymous]

I think at some point you have to acknolwedge that there is only so much you can control. You can do lots of yoga and get nice clothes and still get hit with a major physical illness that'll leave you looking as frail as you are.

I think the coolest people are those who love themselves and are comfortable with themselves to the point where they also love everyone around them. If you're so concerned about not looking like that poor woman when you're old, maybe you can start there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think at some point you have to acknolwedge that there is only so much you can control. You can do lots of yoga and get nice clothes and still get hit with a major physical illness that'll leave you looking as frail as you are.

I think the coolest people are those who love themselves and are comfortable with themselves to the point where they also love everyone around them. If you're so concerned about not looking like that poor woman when you're old, maybe you can start there.

Way to take it way out of context. There’s always one.

[Anonymous]

My DH has an aunt like this woman. Mid-80s, but she works hard to embrace life, keep up with friends and family, travel, stay on top of technology, etc. I think the biggest thing is that she doesn't allow anyone to treat her like she's old. Like she doesn't lean into it. Sometimes she does have to slow down a bit (she had a few medical issues lately that have required her to rest and do less) but she doesn't embrace it. It's like "ok doc, how long do I have to stay off this until I can go for my walks again?" She knows at this point, if she stop doing things, that's it.

My mom went through a phase in her 60s where she was the opposite. It's like she couldn't wait to embrace the end of all kinds of things -- travel, cooking, self-sufficiency, physical activity. I pushed her into therapy and she got treated for depression and now she's traveling, seeing friends, taking classes, etc. It makes a huge difference. My mom isn't "hip" but she is interesting and has energy as she circles 80. I'm so glad.

[Anonymous]

Lifelong learners
Went through Erikson's stage of integrity vs despair and found integrity
Good health and taking care of it

[Anonymous]

Exercise, talk to the youth, read the style section of the newspapers, and enjoy life! Some people are born with it, others are not.

[Anonymous]

The three women in my life who fit this description do these key things:

#1: Eat little to no processed food and very little alcohol (though they do all enjoy caffeine daily)
#2: Brisk walk every day (plus one of them still rides her bike and she's 82, and another one I'm thinking of does a regular set of yoga-like stretching every morning)
#3: Make friends with people of a wide variety of ages and keep making new ones

Also, one of them still works full time (owns her own business) and really has kept up with technology and current practices in the digital space. The other two I'm thinking of do not work (although they are fairly adept with their phones, mapping to drive, etc).

[Anonymous]

Funny, once I'm old, I want to be old. I have no desire to try and remain relevant and keep up with a generation I don't belong to/can't relate with. I'm 46, and already feel the disconnect.

[Anonymous]

When you have your health, you have everything.

Working out with weights to build muscle helps.

Wear a stylish hair style and no granny glasses.

[Anonymous]

Money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genetics and luck.

This is simply not true. Look at the Esselstyn family - heart disease and early death is their genetic heritage, but the elders are active in their 90s because they made conscious choices to eat a really healthy vegan diet that reverses and prevents heart disease and they choose to be very active.

I spent 8 years working with elders and the common theme I saw was crappy diet and a life spent sitting and laying down. Activity was limited to a few minutes a few times a day on their feet ambling between bed and sofa/recliner, and sofa/recliner and kitchen table. And a sedentary life spent largely at home watching old episodes of Law & Order or one of the partisan news channels on a loop leads to negative thinking and outlook.

Keep active, eat a healthy diet - start doing those things sooner than later if you want longevity. And keep an open heart, to old friends and family and new ones, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot is attitude, and having things that force you to do things - like learning to text or tik tok to watch your grandkids videos or whatever, or volunteer so you learn computer programs or whatever.

Some is probably exercise, and some is genetics.

And a whole heck of a lot is luck. (even if you don't have genetic predisposition you might get arthritis, or be randomly bitten by a tick that causes a disease. Even if you exercise and are limber and fit you might fall in a weird way and break something, or get hit by a car and lose flexibility in your leg or something).

There's things you can control, and there are just some things you can't. (and that's probably where attitude helps some too).

+1 It's attitude and luck.

In Paris, lots of elderly women still dress very stylishly and they're out and about at the hip places. Middle aged and elderly women can become invisible. It's sad, but they need to dress well and do their hair and makeup just to be included in society. I completely understand why some women give up and just embrace being older.

I'd like to hopefully stay somewhat current and stay connected to younger family members, but I also have no interest in making a bunch of friends who are 20+ years younger than I am. My good friends are all about my age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Follow the current events and fashion, read a lot to keep your brain occupied, and hope to win the health lottery.

Yes, my 80 yr old grandpa's cousin Gloria is very cool. She's very active on Facebook (at least 14 between the ages of 20-50 have Facebook solely to stay in touch with her online) and always texting us. Once, I sent her a picture and she begged me to teach her how to do that so we got on speakerphone and I walked her through it. She has her granddaughters (in their 20's) take her shopping for clothes. We suggest stuff to her on Netflix and she'll watch it and then discuss with us. She's always FaceTiming with the babies in the family. We all want to be Gloria when we grow up.

This is what I want - to be hands on involved with my family and grandbabies, to not favor anyone (or have any of them feel slighted), and for them to want to spend time around me and with me. It seems that people who are warm and active with their grandkids, were equally exceptional parents. Those who are not involved, but would prefer to go on about how "busy" they are - not so much.

Also agree with PPs who said if you are "cool now" - then it is less of an effort to be stylish and engaging when you are older. It takes being active and social, but it also helps to win the genetic lottery, too.

[Anonymous]

That is my goal as well OP‼️

To be “forever young.”

I think primarily one must be born w/good genes.
So if you won the genetic lottery - take your parents out to dinner tonight!
Hahaha!!

After that eat well, exercise, practice good self-care + try not manage stress levels daily.
Take excellent care of your hair, skin, teeth and weight and always wear fun, sometimes bright (!) colors vs. sticking w/bland grays/tans/blacks/browns, etc.

Keep up to date on current fads/trends and focus on both physical as well as mental health equally!

[Anonymous]

*
+ try to

[Anonymous]

So much goes into it ... most already mentioned.

I think it's genes/luck/curiosity/exercise/good food/socialization.