How do I become this woman when I’m older?

[Anonymous]

I was at the salon and there were two elderly women, if I had to guess they were around 80, getting their hair done.

One was a quintessential elderly woman. She was frail looking, slow.

The other was so hip! She was dressed in an outfit that was stylish and modern, in trendy sneakers. She was navigating her iPhone with ease, then got on a call and was joking around and making dinner plans. I couldn’t stop watching, I was so drawn to her.

When I was a teen I had a job at a library and there were two women that age who I worked with, and I will never forget them. I was 16 at the time and thought they were so cool, funny, and relatable, and they were in their 70s and 80s.

How do I make sure I become one of THESE women and not the other?

[Anonymous]

Having had grandparents on opposite sides of the spectrum - one who is pretty cool and the other who is frail, a lot of it is outlook. My cool grandmother knows she’s aging, is comfortable with acknowledging what she can and can’t do, and stays active by hanging out with friends. My other grandmother is the opposite - negative about everything.

I also think nice clothes helps!

[Anonymous]

Exercise

[Anonymous]

Follow the current events and fashion, read a lot to keep your brain occupied, and hope to win the health lottery.

[Anonymous]

A lot is attitude, and having things that force you to do things - like learning to text or tik tok to watch your grandkids videos or whatever, or volunteer so you learn computer programs or whatever.

Some is probably exercise, and some is genetics.

And a whole heck of a lot is luck. (even if you don't have genetic predisposition you might get arthritis, or be randomly bitten by a tick that causes a disease. Even if you exercise and are limber and fit you might fall in a weird way and break something, or get hit by a car and lose flexibility in your leg or something).

There's things you can control, and there are just some things you can't. (and that's probably where attitude helps some too).

[Anonymous]

Yoga

[Anonymous]

I second yoga. I’ve been doing it everyday for about 5 years. I’m 62 and have never felt better physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Make sure you have an excellent teacher that does Hatha. Hot yoga and such don’t count!

[Anonymous]

As Toby Keith (RIP) put it, “Don’t let the old man in”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having had grandparents on opposite sides of the spectrum - one who is pretty cool and the other who is frail, a lot of it is outlook. My cool grandmother knows she’s aging, is comfortable with acknowledging what she can and can’t do, and stays active by hanging out with friends. My other grandmother is the opposite - negative about everything.

I also think nice clothes helps!

My mom and MIL are two ends of the spectrum like this. Mom is elderly and frail and MIL is hip, reads, uses her phone with ease, dresses in nice and contemporary clothes. I have the same questions PP.

In my mind, mom has always been negative and introverted, and never very social. My MIL is very social, upbeat, and engaged in the community.

My mom’s sister however was like my MIL, and she is frail and has Alzheimer’s.

These women were all born within 14 months of each other.

I pray I end up like my MIL.

[Anonymous]

Are you cool now?

[Anonymous]

Genetics and luck.

[Anonymous]

One of my aunts is in her 90s, and quite spry still. She is meticulous about self care. She does stretching type yoga and meditation first thing in the morning. She eats little to no processed foods. Her portion sizes are small, and she prioritizes eating fruits and vegetables. She does all her recommended medical care. Most of her wide social circle are younger than her. As her family, we include her in all our plans. We feel that the social interactions are extremely important to keep her positive, and her brain functioning optimally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Follow the current events and fashion, read a lot to keep your brain occupied, and hope to win the health lottery.

Yes, my 80 yr old grandpa's cousin Gloria is very cool. She's very active on Facebook (at least 14 between the ages of 20-50 have Facebook solely to stay in touch with her online) and always texting us. Once, I sent her a picture and she begged me to teach her how to do that so we got on speakerphone and I walked her through it. She has her granddaughters (in their 20's) take her shopping for clothes. We suggest stuff to her on Netflix and she'll watch it and then discuss with us. She's always FaceTiming with the babies in the family. We all want to be Gloria when we grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you cool now?

LOL. I'm not OP but I'll never be cool. I do hope I can be at least healthy, active, and somewhat vibrant.

[Anonymous]

Staying busy. One of my grandfathers never retired because he liked his work and didn’t know what to do after my grandmother died early. He definitely got less work as he got older but he lived to be 86, only taken out because of a stroke.