How old to discuss n word with non Black child?

Anonymous
Elementary school? Don't worry about it. If they ever get caught saying it, explain that it's not allowed.

As they get older, if they mention it or listen to music or watch movies featuring the word, tell them that it's not allowed.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another thread made me realize that I may need to talk to my child about the n word. We are Latino (only mention this to indicate that my kid is not black, which I think is relevant). What age/grade is a good time for this discussion? Also, do you say the word when discussing it with your kid?


You can be black and Latino. Do you really not know this? Have you ever been to the Dominican Republic? Puerto Rico? Brazil? Any number of other countries with a large black population in Latin America?


👆🏾tell me you are white without telling me you are white.


Yup
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My White presenting multiracial child think it's unfair that she can't say it but she's going to have to deal.


What’s “unfair” about it? My kids are and present as very black and they can’t say it…. But it doesn’t matter because they don’t have a reason and wouldn’t want to.

Anonymous
I talked to my kids about it in 1st grade. So around 6. (I'm half hispanic, they're a quarter hispanic, 3/4 white.)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Another thread made me realize that I may need to talk to my child about the n word. We are Latino (only mention this to indicate that my kid is not black, which I think is relevant). What age/grade is a good time for this discussion? Also, do you say the word when discussing it with your kid?


Don’t single out that one word. There’s a lot of derogatory terms that are insensitive. Start at the top.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My White presenting multiracial child think it's unfair that she can't say it but she's going to have to deal.


What’s “unfair” about it? My kids are and present as very black and they can’t say it…. But it doesn’t matter because they don’t have a reason and wouldn’t want to.



She's a kid, who thinks others are getting to do something. That's why I said she's going to have to just deal.
Anonymous
Around kindergarten, my kid was reading graffiti and read the n-word. I told her that there were bad words, and then there were slurs, which are so much worse than bad words. That slurs are so much worse because they insult whole groups of people.

I told her that the n-word was a slur, and that good people didn't even say the word and referred to it as the n-word.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another thread made me realize that I may need to talk to my child about the n word. We are Latino (only mention this to indicate that my kid is not black, which I think is relevant). What age/grade is a good time for this discussion? Also, do you say the word when discussing it with your kid?


You can be black and Latino. Do you really not know this? Have you ever been to the Dominican Republic? Puerto Rico? Brazil? Any number of other countries with a large black population in Latin America?


👆🏾tell me you are white without telling me you are white.


Yup


Not only is the "tell me you are blah blah" a tired and trite phrase, you're an idiot. All three of you. Why would you think that stating you are Latino to indicate your kid is not black makes any sense? You're all just dumb, or 8.
Anonymous
"In our family there are some words we never use. There are different reasons why we don't use them, the most important of which is that they are very likely to hurt people or cause fights if we say them, and we can talk about why that is about each one of these words if you want.

For now what I am telling you is that I do not ever want to hear about any of these words coming out of your mouth, being written by an instrument in your hand, or anything else."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:"In our family there are some words we never use. There are different reasons why we don't use them, the most important of which is that they are very likely to hurt people or cause fights if we say them, and we can talk about why that is about each one of these words if you want.

For now what I am telling you is that I do not ever want to hear about any of these words coming out of your mouth, being written by an instrument in your hand, or anything else."


7 yo. And yes, I did say each of the words on the list. I said up front: "there is one exception to the rule that we never use these words in our family and the exception is me saying this word one time right now, so you know what the rule is, so listen closely because I am only going to say these words one time."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We talk about race and derogatory language. Specifically about how words had been used to attack and demean Black people throughout history and up to today. We talk about “boy” too when used to refer to a Black man.

We started having the n word conversation must have been before 4th grade, because he saw some kid had scrawled it on the playground slide and he reported it to the principal after recess. Now we are getting into the reporting and banning process inside of video games.

So yeah - we think it is important to talk about language and how it is used (note, is, not was) in racist ways, and how it perpetuates racism. And what his role as a white teenager to address it.


I mean, something like roblox or minecraft I can understand. But there’s an irony here if we’re talking about M-Rated games like Call of Duty. How would you feel if you were talking on the phone to someone, they were offended by something you said so they called up whoever you have service with and reported you and were banned from using your phone?

Even more-so than that, how would you feel about there being activism to have all phone calls recorded and constantly scanned by AI for “offensive behavior”? Because that’s essentially what’s being pushed for and implemented now because of people bothered by language in online games.
Anonymous
3 or 4
Anonymous
My kids go to a 1619 project school and learned about the n word in school. My second grader begged me to tell her what it was (she knew all about it, but not the actual word). So I had her google it and that settled her curiosity.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We talk about race and derogatory language. Specifically about how words had been used to attack and demean Black people throughout history and up to today. We talk about “boy” too when used to refer to a Black man.

We started having the n word conversation must have been before 4th grade, because he saw some kid had scrawled it on the playground slide and he reported it to the principal after recess. Now we are getting into the reporting and banning process inside of video games.

So yeah - we think it is important to talk about language and how it is used (note, is, not was) in racist ways, and how it perpetuates racism. And what his role as a white teenager to address it.


I mean, something like roblox or minecraft I can understand. But there’s an irony here if we’re talking about M-Rated games like Call of Duty. How would you feel if you were talking on the phone to someone, they were offended by something you said so they called up whoever you have service with and reported you and were banned from using your phone?

Even more-so than that, how would you feel about there being activism to have all phone calls recorded and constantly scanned by AI for “offensive behavior”? Because that’s essentially what’s being pushed for and implemented now because of people bothered by language in online games.

I think reporting and fighting racism in group conversations (especially public and especially mature games) is extremely important for our society. I’m actually 100% ok with even AI for that - those are relatively open spaces.

It isn’t analogous to places I would have some expectation of privacy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Another thread made me realize that I may need to talk to my child about the n word. We are Latino (only mention this to indicate that my kid is not black, which I think is relevant). What age/grade is a good time for this discussion? Also, do you say the word when discussing it with your kid?


You can be black and Latino. Do you really not know this? Have you ever been to the Dominican Republic? Puerto Rico? Brazil? Any number of other countries with a large black population in Latin America?


She’s talking about African Americans where it started under slavery. I’m not sure if the immigrants from African countries who came here on their own use it.



Wow. Where are the “immigrants from African countries who came here on their own” exactly? The largely black Latino populations all over Latin America are all descendants of slaves. Don’t you know that?
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