tween son wants to paint his toe nails - your reaction?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, let him do it. It could be a fad or maybe he will be a cross-dresser? But if it is the second reason, then this is the first day of your relationship for the rest of your lives and he could be testing you out a bit......

[Anonymous]

ask what color:

if it's pink he's gay
if it's black he's emo

[Anonymous]

Let him do it. It's not permanent, and what's the harm?

[Anonymous]

If he is on the younger tween side, like 8 or 9ish and you are uncomfortable, you could tell him he is too young. I think at this age my mom would have told me (I'm female) I was too young to paint my nails, wear glitter/makeup, do anything artificial to alter my appearance.

I honestly feel anything under 10 is a bit too young for makeup. BUT I would still ask him why he wants to do it to understand his reasoning and chat about it. If he is too young, I would tell him if he still wants to do it by {X you are comfortable with} birthday, he is then allowed to paint his nails.

I like the concept of staving off makeup and beauty products but I understand it's starting younger and younger.

[Anonymous]

Let's say your worse fear is that he is a crossdresser or he is gay: telling him he can't paint his nails will not change who he is. Suicide ranks as #1 in deaths in LGBT teens. So if your tween son is gay or trans, you have the opportunity, in this activity, to let him know you accept him as he is. I think many of the PPs who suggested that you embrace and participate in this activity with him are right on target.

Good luck and all best to you and your son.

[Anonymous]

What's emo?

My son is 13, I would have asked him what his inspiration and motivation are. Fair questions, OP.

[Anonymous]

Why donsonmany posters associate painting nails with being gay? Any gay guy I've ever known has not had painted nails?

I'd gently discourage it. But it has nothing to do with being gay.

[Anonymous]

bravo to your son for even telling you -- you are doing something right OP. I agree with everyone else -- allow the experimentation. My mother always said to me that it didn't matter what I wore, it mattered what came out of my mouth. My parents let me experiment with every type of fashion I wanted as a kid -- my dad even gave me some of his overcoats when it became popular for girls to wear men's styled overcoats. I thought that was cool.

[Anonymous]

I'm also impressed that he told/asked you. At that age, it's pretty easy to get your hands on a bottle of nailpolish so presumably he could have already done it but wanted your approval. That's pretty cool! I'd let him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's nail polish, not a tattoo. I agree with the PP. Ask what color he wants and get him the best brand. Hell, take him with you. Make it a bonding experience. At least he didn't ask, and then showed up with hot pink on his toes and put his feet on the coffee table for all to freak out about.

Love this. I have only girls, so I am not sure I will ever get the chance to experience anything equivalent, but I hope to apply this kind of thinking to whatever it is they bring up when we hit the tween stage. (OMG. A PP suggested 8 was a young tween. My oldest kid is turning 8!!! What is the official tween age anyway?)

[Anonymous]

I'd just take him to the store, and let him do it
wouldn't tell his father tho

[Anonymous]

I know many many gay men and not one of them has ever painted his toenails.

[Anonymous]

Um, no? Sorry I would just say nope, sorry bud no nail polish. What do you want for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, no? Sorry I would just say nope, sorry bud no nail polish. What do you want for dinner?

Would you say the same to your daughter, or would you specifically say no to your son? If just your son, why? I'm curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's say your worse fear is that he is a crossdresser or he is gay: telling him he can't paint his nails will not change who he is. Suicide ranks as #1 in deaths in LGBT teens. So if your tween son is gay or trans, you have the opportunity, in this activity, to let him know you accept him as he is. I think many of the PPs who suggested that you embrace and participate in this activity with him are right on target.

Good luck and all best to you and your son.

I'm the PP who said to tell him he is too young (if he is). I am not saying don't *ever* let the kid paint his toenails but allow him to mature a bit before he makes his decision. Yes it is only his toenails and not a tattoo. Still, as a parent I would talk to him and try to guide him into making the wisest decision and the ability to do so comes with age. The fleeting fancy of painted toenails doesn't need to take place right away; it can be something that you think about, even for just a couple of months, to make sure it's something you really want to do. I'm just saying, it's unusual so it doesn't hurt to think on it.