Does anyone regret NOT being a SAHP?

[Anonymous]

I wish I had stayed home more with my first. I had more of a choice (financially) with my 3rd, but she is a very, very, very hard toddler. I'd lose my mind if I were home with her all day

[Anonymous]

Canada has up to 18m mat leave, which I think is a great option. That was plenty and I was soo ready to go back. I love my job, I love being able to support and contribute to my family, and my kids love daycare.

[Anonymous]

I regret not staying home when my oldest was a baby and toddler. Although maybe what I regret is daycare, because it was rough on us with the drop-offs and pick-ups, and the illnesses. A nanny or au pair might have made it better.

[Anonymous]

I don’t regret not staying home, but if I could go back and change things, I would do it so that our kids had less of a long day in daycare. My husband and I staggered our schedules as best we could to try to accommodate both the kids’ needs and ours as partners, but it still meant a long day. Having said that, we have a very strong marriage and our kids are teens so who knows the impact to our marriage if we saw each other less during the day.

[Anonymous]

No regrets. I love my job and I’m in a field where good jobs are hard to come by so I feel very fortunate. We can also accomplish our goals and provide for the kids much better with our combined salaries.

[Anonymous]

I'm someone that thought I might regret it. I really struggled with going back to work in a way I didn't expect with my oldest and it frankly persisted for awhile. I even took almost a year of maternity leave with my second and then was part time for a little. Now that the kids are later elementary I'm starting to feel really solid in not fully stepping out. For all the reasons others have said. The long daycare days is what got me too, like another poster said but I think I did a pretty good job mitigating that while keeping my career intact. We usually find reasons to feel good about the decisions we make But just speaking as someone who really considered it and kind of wanted to, I don't regret not doing it now that I'm farther along.

Also, I will add with more life experience i have come to really see the risks of leaving. I've had some family members and friends be in really tough financial situations because of deaths, divorce, etc. in part because they had not been working for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone that thought I might regret it. I really struggled with going back to work in a way I didn't expect with my oldest and it frankly persisted for awhile. I even took almost a year of maternity leave with my second and then was part time for a little. Now that the kids are later elementary I'm starting to feel really solid in not fully stepping out. For all the reasons others have said. The long daycare days is what got me too, like another poster said but I think I did a pretty good job mitigating that while keeping my career intact. We usually find reasons to feel good about the decisions we make But just speaking as someone who really considered it and kind of wanted to, I don't regret not doing it now that I'm farther along.

Also, I will add with more life experience i have come to really see the risks of leaving. I've had some family members and friends be in really tough financial situations because of deaths, divorce, etc. in part because they had not been working for a long time.

I thought maybe I wrote this! I ended up reducing my hours to 30 a week to make my kids time at daycare shorter. I know that’s not an option for everyone but I am so thankful my work accommodated it for me.

Not regrets but I feel a little sad over the summer. Camps are kind of a lot for one of my kids. But I remember being bored a lot during summers with my SAHM. My kids have it fairly good I think. Trying to swing an extra week of leave this summer so they only have to do 6 weeks of camp.

I do regret not taking longer maternity leaves. In retrospect if I had asked I probably could have gotten a year off with each kid and we could have afforded it. I was too afraid to ask - I took what was the max I’d heard of anyone taking and tried to be grateful. But if I could have had another 6 months home with each baby- wow I’d give a lot for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone that thought I might regret it. I really struggled with going back to work in a way I didn't expect with my oldest and it frankly persisted for awhile. I even took almost a year of maternity leave with my second and then was part time for a little. Now that the kids are later elementary I'm starting to feel really solid in not fully stepping out. For all the reasons others have said. The long daycare days is what got me too, like another poster said but I think I did a pretty good job mitigating that while keeping my career intact. We usually find reasons to feel good about the decisions we make But just speaking as someone who really considered it and kind of wanted to, I don't regret not doing it now that I'm farther along.

Also, I will add with more life experience i have come to really see the risks of leaving. I've had some family members and friends be in really tough financial situations because of deaths, divorce, etc. in part because they had not been working for a long time.

I thought maybe I wrote this! I ended up reducing my hours to 30 a week to make my kids time at daycare shorter. I know that’s not an option for everyone but I am so thankful my work accommodated it for me.

Not regrets but I feel a little sad over the summer. Camps are kind of a lot for one of my kids. But I remember being bored a lot during summers with my SAHM. My kids have it fairly good I think. Trying to swing an extra week of leave this summer so they only have to do 6 weeks of camp.

I do regret not taking longer maternity leaves. In retrospect if I had asked I probably could have gotten a year off with each kid and we could have afforded it. I was too afraid to ask - I took what was the max I’d heard of anyone taking and tried to be grateful. But if I could have had another 6 months home with each baby- wow I’d give a lot for that.

What do they do with you in the summer when they are not at camp?

[Anonymous]

I wish I could do it, especially now that they are in elementary school. I feel very stretched and as parenting moves from keeping them alive to emotional support and helping them become good people, that feels like more of a negative for them. We need my income though.

[Anonymous]

No regrets - agree most kids turn out fine either way, for me I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself so I think it eased that pressure.

[Anonymous]

No one wishes to have spent more time working on their deathbed. So use that as a guide to the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. Spouse died unexpectedly and I was able to provide for the family with no problem.

Honey, that’s what life insurance is for. When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if regret is the right word, because it wasn’t a choice for us. But I do still wish I could have stayed home with our kids, currently in Pre-k and lower elementary, and I still wish I could be with them in the afternoons after school.

I am a successful professional in a field I enjoy and I like the work I do and the people I work with. But if we didn’t need my income (to save for retirement, college education, cost of housing near an excellent school) I would not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could do it, especially now that they are in elementary school. I feel very stretched and as parenting moves from keeping them alive to emotional support and helping them become good people, that feels like more of a negative for them. We need my income though.

Do you really miss out on a significant period of time everyday with them though now that they are in school full time and maybe even activities after school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm someone that thought I might regret it. I really struggled with going back to work in a way I didn't expect with my oldest and it frankly persisted for awhile. I even took almost a year of maternity leave with my second and then was part time for a little. Now that the kids are later elementary I'm starting to feel really solid in not fully stepping out. For all the reasons others have said. The long daycare days is what got me too, like another poster said but I think I did a pretty good job mitigating that while keeping my career intact. We usually find reasons to feel good about the decisions we make But just speaking as someone who really considered it and kind of wanted to, I don't regret not doing it now that I'm farther along.

Also, I will add with more life experience i have come to really see the risks of leaving. I've had some family members and friends be in really tough financial situations because of deaths, divorce, etc. in part because they had not been working for a long time.

I thought maybe I wrote this! I ended up reducing my hours to 30 a week to make my kids time at daycare shorter. I know that’s not an option for everyone but I am so thankful my work accommodated it for me.

Not regrets but I feel a little sad over the summer. Camps are kind of a lot for one of my kids. But I remember being bored a lot during summers with my SAHM. My kids have it fairly good I think. Trying to swing an extra week of leave this summer so they only have to do 6 weeks of camp.

I do regret not taking longer maternity leaves. In retrospect if I had asked I probably could have gotten a year off with each kid and we could have afforded it. I was too afraid to ask - I took what was the max I’d heard of anyone taking and tried to be grateful. But if I could have had another 6 months home with each baby- wow I’d give a lot for that.

What do they do with you in the summer when they are not at camp?

Mostly travel to/with family. My husbands side of the family is too far away for long weekend trips and so we use a lot of vacation time to travel to them or plan a trip together. We are close to both sets of grandparents and cousins. But the kids also enjoy having some lazy days to meet up with friends at the pool and go for ice cream etc.