What does it mean to be a masculine man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

But that's the thing. These are the traits that ARE rare in men. Women have these in spades.

So what you want is for men to be more like women?

I know a lot of women would like to not have to do everything. We CAN do everything, and we often do. But it would be so, so nice if partners saw themselves as complementary. I have my strengths, you have yours, and we each apply those strengths to getting the job done.

So if woman can do everything (and again, we do) why can't men? Why is a do-everything man such a unicorn when earning-parenting-fixing-planning women are the norm? Why are men's roles limited to man things? Women rarely have that luxury. Like if I could just parent and be pretty? I mean, I wouldn't because that sounds boring AF. But who even has that option, the way that men have the option of bringing home a paycheck and doing literally nothing else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

It's the mid 2020s and progress has helped eliminate stereotypes. Masculinity is fluid and depends on the human and situation. Masculinity, or "a masculine man," means something different to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a boyfriend who was a commercial fisherman and a general contractor. He often wore a pink T shirt and a pink bandana. I thought that was fairly badass at the time. He would have absolutely no problem walking a dog who wore a pink harness while en route to the store to buy tampons.

There is nothing more masculine than a physically broad man who is not afraid to do feminine things, like tie his DD's hair, play tea party with his little girl, buy tampon products for his wife/DD. It shows that he's secure in his masculinity, and to me, that is sexy.

[Anonymous]

DH is the quite reserved masculine, but when you witness it in action, swoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. To me it means taking responsibility and getting it done. Whether that’s physical, at work, or within relationships.

So many men fixate on physical or financial. And view emotional vulnerability as a weakness. They can’t ask for directions or admit mistakes or nurture someone at a low point.

That all totally makes sense and are absolutely characteristics of a good man. But wouldn't those apply equally to women? As a man, I wonder what aspects of masculinity women appreciate that you would not expect or appreciate in a woman.

But that's the thing. These are the traits that ARE rare in men. Women have these in spades.

So what you want is for men to be more like women?

Men who are caring, good listeners, emotionally vulnerable to their women are sexy. It doesn't mean he needs to ugly cry in order to be emotionally vulnerable. It just means he's willing to talk about his emotions to his wife/gf.

IMO, there are physical traits that are clearly masculine vs feminine, but then there are the non physical traits, like character that is not so obvious, things like being protective of their family - and while a woman can also be protective of their family, she has less physical prowess to physically protect her family. Other traits are things like not being afraid of getting dirty - when I see my DH in his work clothes fixing the house, I find that sexy. I don't find metrosexuals very sexy or all that masculine.

[Anonymous]

My partner is a construction foreman in his fifties. He also grew up on a ranch, so he knows how to do all sorts of useful stuff. The way he carries himself just exudes self-confidence and competence. You'd want someone like him to be your pilot or the person who shows up when you've wrecked your car and need to be pulled out before it explodes. He's definitely shorter than 5'10", but he doesn't come across as a short guy at all because of his demeanor.

He has broad shoulders and well-defined arm and stomach muscles to die for, and he works out regularly to maintain it all. (He has zero issues with me not being a regular at the gym.) The main thing that makes him the epitome of masculine is his "I've got this" attitude and his MacGyver ways. He doesn't try to stop me from handling stuff on my own like installing a curtain rod, but if I give him an opening, he'll be there immediately with all his expertise and resources to get it done. He also has no problem whatsoever acknowledging that there are lots of things I'm good at that he isn't, and he readily requests my help with those things, which I see as a sign of his self-confidence. He is fine with wearing light pink/salmon shirts. He is well-groomed and even tries out DIY facial products and recipes he finds on TikTok. So, a masculine man doesn't have to be a caveman.

My partner has children from his prior marriage and takes a great deal of pride in providing for them financially and in being a very involved parent who keeps a close watch over them. He really looks down on other men who don't stick around to raise their kids even if their relationship with the mom didn't work out. I make more money and far more education than he does, so he doesn't have any hang ups about women who can get it done at the office and who are compensated accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re looking in a forum of entitled suburban moms for an answer you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel here. 70% of the conversations are about these women divorcing their husbands and how they hate them.

If you want to find masculinity it’s simple. Get in shape, take charge of your life, make good financial decisions and be a good role model for your kids. Not complicated.

If you’re an overweight piece of garbage who can’t even put up some curtain rods it’s time to man up. Learn another skill and trade. Stop eating crap and get in shape . Take charge of your finances. Deliver it in the bedroom like it’s your last night alive.

But trying to find advice among a group of miserable cat ladies….come on

Woman. You can call me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who won’t buy his daughters’ feminine hygiene products, and who won’t walk the dog with its pink harness leash. It’s such fragile masculinity to me. Yuck.

Wow. That's so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

It's the mid 2020s and progress has helped eliminate stereotypes. Masculinity is fluid and depends on the human and situation. Masculinity, or "a masculine man," means something different to everyone.

This!

[Anonymous]

My DH is very masculine, and he isn’t very fit or muscular. He is confident, loves women, can banter and tease, picks up the check every time, works hard, never lies, is playful with kids, cusses when he shouldn’t, rarely drinks, goes to church, kisses like I’m the icing on the cake.

Men are woefully misinformed about the secret of what women want: a man who is competent, smart, generous and loves women will never go home alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a man who won’t buy his daughters’ feminine hygiene products, and who won’t walk the dog with its pink harness leash. It’s such fragile masculinity to me. Yuck.

Wow. I’ll buy my daughter a cart full of feminine products if needed. For my daughter and wife I’ll do anything to
Make them happy. When my wife is happy wow she is a beast in the bedroom, an amazing cook and a therapist too lol. Keep the women in your life happy because the reward is big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner is a construction foreman in his fifties. He also grew up on a ranch, so he knows how to do all sorts of useful stuff. The way he carries himself just exudes self-confidence and competence. You'd want someone like him to be your pilot or the person who shows up when you've wrecked your car and need to be pulled out before it explodes. He's definitely shorter than 5'10", but he doesn't come across as a short guy at all because of his demeanor.

He has broad shoulders and well-defined arm and stomach muscles to die for, and he works out regularly to maintain it all. (He has zero issues with me not being a regular at the gym.) The main thing that makes him the epitome of masculine is his "I've got this" attitude and his MacGyver ways. He doesn't try to stop me from handling stuff on my own like installing a curtain rod, but if I give him an opening, he'll be there immediately with all his expertise and resources to get it done. He also has no problem whatsoever acknowledging that there are lots of things I'm good at that he isn't, and he readily requests my help with those things, which I see as a sign of his self-confidence. He is fine with wearing light pink/salmon shirts. He is well-groomed and even tries out DIY facial products and recipes he finds on TikTok. So, a masculine man doesn't have to be a caveman.

My partner has children from his prior marriage and takes a great deal of pride in providing for them financially and in being a very involved parent who keeps a close watch over them. He really looks down on other men who don't stick around to raise their kids even if their relationship with the mom didn't work out. I make more money and far more education than he does, so he doesn't have any hang ups about women who can get it done at the office and who are compensated accordingly.

It's like you wrote a job description for The Perfect Man. I don't give a tiny rat's ass about his income; I have my own. But all that other stuff? Confidence + competence + kindness + responsibility? Hired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turnabout is fair play, right?

My definition includes broad shoulders, body and facial hair, a "roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done" attitude, and a total lack of defensiveness about gender roles. Self-identifying alpha males, men who won't nurture because nurturing is feminine, etc, are not masculine. If you have to say it, you aren't.

Wear a$$less chaps!

[Anonymous]

Masculine men or not, women will cheat on you if you fail to “emotionally” support her.

I think men should embrace their feminine side more so they understand women more. But wait if they do that, the women will complain that he is not assertive, he is not this, he is not that. You can’t please them!

[Anonymous]

Decisiveness, leadership, confidence, responsibility.

Not: Indifference, domineering as in demanding total control, insecurity, defensiveness, cowardice.