My elderly mom just left. 5 nights. Not one shower.

[Anonymous]

My mom is dead and when she was alive she basically never showered. Like, I disliked hugging her because she smelled so badly. My brother and I discussed this at length a few times - she claimed she showered when we were at school but we saw no evidence of moved bar of soap or bottles of shampoo/conditioner, no used towels where used towels were put, etc. She literally went decades without showering or washing her hair. I think she would use a wet washcloth to sort of "spot clean" her body sometimes (less than once a week?) and got her hair washed when she'd go to a salon (3-4 times a year).

OP, I know this won't solve everything, but can you get your mom one of these body wipes, and toss any jackets she brings to your house when she stays in the wash for her? https://www.tbqtalks.com/top-five-body-wipes-to-use-when-you-cant-take-a-shower/

[Anonymous]

Did she smell when she got there or only after the 5 days? Maybe you don't have an anti slip rug or something she was worried about falling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

She has no problem walking. She’s 74, so it’s not like she’s 85 and frail. She doesn’t have grab bars at home either.

But does she shower at home, or use a tub?

Shower. Fwiw it have a tub/shower combo. She doesn’t smell like BO, more like food smells stuck to her clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

She has no problem walking. She’s 74, so it’s not like she’s 85 and frail. She doesn’t have grab bars at home either.

But does she shower at home, or use a tub?

Shower. Fwiw it have a tub/shower combo. She doesn’t smell like BO, more like food smells stuck to her clothes.

How often does she do laundry? Did you offer to wash her clothes while she was there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

She has no problem walking. She’s 74, so it’s not like she’s 85 and frail. She doesn’t have grab bars at home either.

But does she shower at home, or use a tub?

Shower. Fwiw it have a tub/shower combo. She doesn’t smell like BO, more like food smells stuck to her clothes.

Well maybe she's just not doing laundry either.

[Anonymous]

My MIL with dementia doesn’t shower for months. It’s a thing.

[Anonymous]

She does repeat herself A LOT. her GP says no memory issues though.

[Anonymous]

She's old. It's a typical older person issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so nasty to me. Yes, she smelled. Would you say something?

Why not? Ask her if she needs you to install support handles or put non skid mat or a shower chair or something to make it easier.

[Anonymous]

Did you hand her fresh towels and encourage her to bathe OP?

[Anonymous]

Using bidet for toilet and cleaning body with wet towels can be a good alternative of a daily shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She does repeat herself A LOT. her GP says no memory issues though.

Family will notice issues long before doctors do.

[Anonymous]

I would buy her lotion to use post-shower to prevent skin dryness. If that's not agreeable, I'd suggest trying to get her to use some kind of wet wipes/ baby wipes to at least clean her underarms. Surely there's no reason not to do that?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like my mom OP. She was raised to take one bath / shower per week and to have her hair "done" once a week. She would only shower the night before her hair appointment, so she wouldn't get her hair wet. Coats were washed once a year, to keep them looking good longer (but not smelling good.)

[Anonymous]

I'm 40, and unless I'm exercising or otherwise sweating, only shower once per week. I use deoderant every day. I don't smell. I'm not working in the coal mines - I don't need a shower every day. Americans are obsessed with disinfecting and sterilizing themselves and their environments. Its not good for your skin.