My elderly mom just left. 5 nights. Not one shower.

[Anonymous]

This is so nasty to me. Yes, she smelled. Would you say something?

[Anonymous]

Did you have a bath available or just a shower? Is she like this at home or was she worried about slipping and falling at yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so nasty to me. Yes, she smelled. Would you say something?

Do you have a shower with non slip floor, and a handlebar in the shower?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you have a bath available or just a shower? Is she like this at home or was she worried about slipping and falling at yours?

Full shower. Non slip pad. She says that her skin dries out too much when she showers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you have a bath available or just a shower? Is she like this at home or was she worried about slipping and falling at yours?

Full shower. Non slip pad. She says that her skin dries out too much when she showers.

So she's not showering at home either? How frequently do you think she is showering at home?

[Anonymous]

Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you have a bath available or just a shower? Is she like this at home or was she worried about slipping and falling at yours?

Full shower. Non slip pad. She says that her skin dries out too much when she showers.

So she's not showering at home either? How frequently do you think she is showering at home?

I have no idea. Her jackets always smell because she doesn’t believe in washing them, and she’s not a clean person by nature but 5 nights just seems extreme.

[Anonymous]

When you say she just left, do you mean she was staying with you over the holidays? How often do you see her? In the recent past was it just for a few hours? Did she smell when she arrived?

Maybe she didn't have a workable bathroom situation in your house.
She lives alone and doesn't realize she smells so she has stopped bathing as much.

I'd try to figure out the situation before you just say: Mom, you smell.

FWIW, this happened to my mom, but she was young and working and my dad just told her she smelled. She was embarrassed and hurt, but she started bathing more. If your mom is older, it could be the beginnings of dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

She has no problem walking. She’s 74, so it’s not like she’s 85 and frail. She doesn’t have grab bars at home either.

[Anonymous]

My mom is 80 and never showers. She doesn’t even have a shower at her house.
She has a bath twice a week and a “ strip wash” as she calls it every day. Doesn’t smell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you have a bath available or just a shower? Is she like this at home or was she worried about slipping and falling at yours?

Full shower. Non slip pad. She says that her skin dries out too much when she showers.

She was afraid she'd fall in the shower, combined with it's hard on her skin. She must use a tub at home. My mom never showers, only takes baths.

[Anonymous]

This could be a sign of dementia.

Old people often don't need to shower every day though unless they had accidents in their underwear etc. Their skin is more fragile. It's ok to go every couple days.

Five days is a long time though.

[Anonymous]

You need more information. Who else sees her at her home that you would feel comfortable asking if they have noticed this as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably worried about falling. Its very common in elderly. Was there anything in the bathroom to help ensure her safety?

She has no problem walking. She’s 74, so it’s not like she’s 85 and frail. She doesn’t have grab bars at home either.

But does she shower at home, or use a tub?

[Anonymous]

Interesting. My mom who is a very active and healthy 84 year old showers once a week, but does have a bidet which she uses daily. She said showering more than once a week dries out her skin. She has zero odor.