Are you close with your cousins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.
We all lived in different cities in the same country when growing up so we didn’t interact much. And now we’re scattered all over the globe and there’s a 30-year age spread between the eldest and youngest. Once my grandparents were gone there really hasn’t been much to hold us together.

This is DH, too. Not sure he knew much of his grandparents, though I think one was alive during his lifetime.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have four cousins and I'm close with three of them (the one is much older than I). I would say I text the one every month and see her once or twice a year. One I text at least weekly and see every other month or so. One is like a sister to me and I text her almost daily.

My husband hasn't seen his cousins in probably 10 years. I've only met them a handful of times at weddings and funerals.

My kids only have two cousins and are close with them. I hope that continues into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely - born, raised and literally went to school with them, within a five minute walk to each other's houses. Also, their children our actually our children's ages, one within a week, and the biggest gap is three years. <3

DH doesn't even know his cousins, and there is a 30 (!!!) year difference with most of them. Completely different experience, sadly.

My DH grew up on the same street as his cousins. Their families vacationed together and hung out every evening and weekend. When I married in, meeting his cousins’ expectations meant more than his parents in many ways.
Then his mom and his aunt died. Everything fell apart. Now we are all within 60 miles of each other and only send Christmas cards. At first he was upset and tried to fix things but it was too late. It was clear that the “sisters” kept the clan close and, without them, the group didn’t want to stay together.

Meanwhile I saw my few cousins once every 3 years or so and we try to reach out and keep in touch when we can. Which usually just boils down to Christmas cards. But Christmas with no hard feelings. It’s a better deal.

[Anonymous]

I just see them at funerals now. Maybe once every two or three years.

[Anonymous]

Both husband and I come from large extended families with lots of cousins. In some cases we are actually very close with second cousins. So, very close with some and not as close with others.

[Anonymous]

I am 42 and I'm close with my cousins - basically we are close in age. We didn't leave locally but we saw each other 2x a year on average. One week at the beach every summer in a big house, and for a few days every year over Xmas with my grandparents. We all stayed together, shared rooms, played all day etc. My kids' don't have cousins close in age.

It's basically same with my DH - he's also close in age to his cousins.

[Anonymous]

I'm very close with several of my cousins, both first and second cousins. We grew up together and have stayed close as we moved to different cities and even countries. DH doesn't have a relationship with any of his cousins. Our kids, who are in middle school and high school, are very close with their cousins on both sides (3 are local and 2 are 4 hours away, all in the same age range). They text with their cousins, have sleepovers, etc. It makes me so happy because my relationship with my cousins is so important to me.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both are exchange-Christmas-card close with our cousinscousins. We see them occasionally at family events and enjoy each others company, chat on FB, but aren’t particularly close. One exception is one cousin who lived with us briefly growing up. I’m not nearly as close to her as I am to my siblings but still have a special relationship. My siblings who are closer in age to her are regularly in touch with her.

My own kids see their cousins a lot and were really close as little kids but now that they are teens it’s more awkward. Of the 16 cousins there are a couple pairs that are really close and the rest share good times and memories and sometimes interact over social media but aren’t in really close contact. Nobody lives n the same town.

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me realize how close I am with my cousins….and I always thought that was the norm.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I developed relationships with our cousins later in life, on our own. Our parents didn’t really do much to facilitate, for whatever reasons.
Now, we try to get our kids together, but we live on the opposite coasts and they are not that similar I guess. They used to play together as kids but now as teens they are shying away from each other mostly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do cousin relationships ever mean much? Do cousins stay close to each other?

Yes. I know my first and second cousins, first cousins once removed, etc. Our kids know their first and second cousins as well

[Anonymous]

I’m having Christmas with my cousins in another state. We grew up in the same area when we were young but they moved away. It took effort on our parents behalf but we stayed close.

[Anonymous]

Yes, to one cousin in particular. We grew up together. Our kids have gotten to know each other even though we live in different countries. Her kids will come stay with us in summer and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And my kids are close with theirs. Difference being I have 13 cousins and my kids have 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do cousin relationships ever mean much? Do cousins stay close to each other?

I'm not close to my cousins. I'm decade older than eldest cousin and haven't lived in same country in last 30 years.