Are you close with your cousins?

[Anonymous]

Do cousin relationships ever mean much? Do cousins stay close to each other?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely - born, raised and literally went to school with them, within a five minute walk to each other's houses. Also, their children our actually our children's ages, one within a week, and the biggest gap is three years. <3

DH doesn't even know his cousins, and there is a 30 (!!!) year difference with most of them. Completely different experience, sadly.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Nowadays, being close to one's cousins isn't really a thing.

[Anonymous]

I think cousins relationships are parents dependent. If parents make a point of getting their kids together, and if you are close to your sibling's kids, then it might happen. Otherwise, would they get along if they just met each other in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think cousins relationships are parents dependent. If parents make a point of getting their kids together, and if you are close to your sibling's kids, then it might happen. Otherwise, would they get along if they just met each other in school?

Depends on the family, and how rich one's heritage and background might actually be. Sure, you can tell lots of stories, but if you actually lived it, and share five (!!!) living generations, that is in a league of its own.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Probably wouldn’t recognize most of them in an airport

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do cousin relationships ever mean much? Do cousins stay close to each other?

Are you asking about current time, OP?

You can't really force it, or make a show of it - to be authentic, it just is.

[Anonymous]

Moms side (3 other siblings)- we all grew up in the same area/county, spent holidays together. I’m the oldest of 8 cousins but the youngest is only 11 years younger. I’m in some level of direct contact with all but one, wouldn’t think twice about sending a text and making plans to get together for a random occasion- wouldn’t need to be something formal.

Dads side (3 other siblings) on other side of country. Am significantly younger (think almost 20 years) than oldest batch of 1 aunt’s children, but solidly in the mix of the other cousins. Share facebook laughs and holiday cards, and host when they come to town to vacation or reach out when business takes me to their town.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. They're all 15+ years older than I am. I see one of them once or twice a year at holidays and barely know the others at all.

[Anonymous]

No, they all moved to different areas of the country as adults and we were never that close in the first place. We didn't ever spend time together outside of family gatherings and they never came back to Grandma's house for the holidays after moving away.
DH was very close with his cousins growing up and keeps in touch with many of them regularly. They are friends as adults and enjoy each other's company.
My kids are a lot closer in age to their cousins and have a great time with them and are certainly friends now, as kids/teens, but who knows if that will endure into adulthood, especially if they land in different places. I hope they stay connected.

[Anonymous]

Yes! On my dad's side, some of my best friends are my cousins. We are all within 5 years of age and grew up seeing each other pretty frequently (several times a year). My kids are going to end being much closer to my cousins' kids than they will be to my siblings' kids who are much older than them, but I'll take it!

[Anonymous]

No.
We all lived in different cities in the same country when growing up so we didn’t interact much. And now we’re scattered all over the globe and there’s a 30-year age spread between the eldest and youngest. Once my grandparents were gone there really hasn’t been much to hold us together.

[Anonymous]

Yes, very.

[Anonymous]

Not on my side, putting effort was never done over there. But we are very close to several of DH’s cousins. My kids and their kids are more like first cousins in closeness, even though they are technically second cousins.

[Anonymous]

I'm close with a few of my cousins and my DH is close with one of mine, I'm close with one if his cousins that lives locally.

My kids are very close to their cousins but it takes effort - I always think about how everyone on DCUM is telling people not to inconvenience themselves to make crazy travel arrangements for family over the holidays and that's fine - but then it's harder to be close with your family.

You have to make the effort and make it part of your routine if you want the family to have connections.