Vent: boyfriend not a foodie

[Anonymous]

I hear you.

When I met my DH and asked him what his favorite food is, he said “chicken tenders.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being too sensitive. He’s not rejecting your food or complaining about it. Unless he has a bad attitude when he makes his additions, I think it’s fine to make additions. I’m sure you’re a great cook, but people sometimes have different tastes.

Salsa is a very popular condiment. Would you be equally offended if he added a little salt to his food? Pepper? Hot sauce? Maybe he’s just having a craving. Sometimes, I crave weird things (onions, mustard, tuna, etc.). I generally don’t know why, but I feel better after I satisfy the craving, so I assume it’s meeting sone sort of nutritional need.

I’m not sure why he would have put the lasagna in the soup (but now I kind of want to try it). Maybe he was extra hungry or thought the lasagna looked so good he wanted to have some too, and didn’t want to dirty an extra dish?

The point is that he does seem to appreciate your cooking, but also has his own preferences which can be different from yours without being an indictment of yours. I think even “foodies” are allowed to have different preferences, and while his may be unconventional, it doesn’t make them any less valid.

I'm not angry about it. This is a pet peeve. It is a secret pet peeve. Am I not allowed to have those as a foodie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being too sensitive. He’s not rejecting your food or complaining about it. Unless he has a bad attitude when he makes his additions, I think it’s fine to make additions. I’m sure you’re a great cook, but people sometimes have different tastes.

Salsa is a very popular condiment. Would you be equally offended if he added a little salt to his food? Pepper? Hot sauce? Maybe he’s just having a craving. Sometimes, I crave weird things (onions, mustard, tuna, etc.). I generally don’t know why, but I feel better after I satisfy the craving, so I assume it’s meeting sone sort of nutritional need.

I’m not sure why he would have put the lasagna in the soup (but now I kind of want to try it). Maybe he was extra hungry or thought the lasagna looked so good he wanted to have some too, and didn’t want to dirty an extra dish?

The point is that he does seem to appreciate your cooking, but also has his own preferences which can be different from yours without being an indictment of yours. I think even “foodies” are allowed to have different preferences, and while his may be unconventional, it doesn’t make them any less valid.

You're taking me much too seriously. Maybe all the crazy DCUMers on here. I love him. It annoys me to cook something, and yes, have him immediately smother it in canned salsa before trying. I view this as bad manners but it's a foodie thing, I accept that not everyone is a foodie. I have plenty of my own bad habits that he puts up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't say this anywhere without sounding like the a**hole.

My boyfriend is a wonderful kind human being and I love him.

That being said, I buy nice fresh local ingredients and cook a lot. He'll do stuff like immediately dump store bought salsa on things. I made a veggie/ham split pea soup and he put a slice of frozen lasagna I made for the kids *in the soup*. It drives me insane! I try not to get offended because the point of cooking is the sharing of company and serving others right?

The salsa --Maybe the food is bland
The soup --he wanted to make it more filling and actually a meal, kids are going to hungry after eating split pea and ham *soup* for dinner

[Anonymous]

You're expecting him to be impressed by your food and he just looks at it as fuel.
No, my husband is not impressed by my pad thai or whatever. He's just as happy eating spaghetti with jarred sauce. I cook for my own enjoyment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't say this anywhere without sounding like the a**hole.

My boyfriend is a wonderful kind human being and I love him.

That being said, I buy nice fresh local ingredients and cook a lot. He'll do stuff like immediately dump store bought salsa on things. I made a veggie/ham split pea soup and he put a slice of frozen lasagna I made for the kids *in the soup*. It drives me insane! I try not to get offended because the point of cooking is the sharing of company and serving others right?

The salsa --Maybe the food is bland
The soup --he wanted to make it more filling and actually a meal, kids are going to hungry after eating split pea and ham *soup* for dinner

Here's the pet peeve part - he does it before tasting it. So everyone saying it's my cooking, no.

There is no reason not to eat lasagna on the side instead of in a soup where it doesn't belong. Face palm. I just rolled my eyes.

[Anonymous]

Foodie. Foodie life.

Gaak.

Yes, of course the point is to share a meal and if it is your thing, to show love and appreciation to others by cooking for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't say this anywhere without sounding like the a**hole.

My boyfriend is a wonderful kind human being and I love him.

That being said, I buy nice fresh local ingredients and cook a lot. He'll do stuff like immediately dump store bought salsa on things. I made a veggie/ham split pea soup and he put a slice of frozen lasagna I made for the kids *in the soup*. It drives me insane! I try not to get offended because the point of cooking is the sharing of company and serving others right?

The salsa --Maybe the food is bland
The soup --he wanted to make it more filling and actually a meal, kids are going to hungry after eating split pea and ham *soup* for dinner

Here's the pet peeve part - he does it before tasting it. So everyone saying it's my cooking, no.

There is no reason not to eat lasagna on the side instead of in a soup where it doesn't belong. Face palm. I just rolled my eyes.

Kids aren't going hungry. The crappy frozen lasagna was for them. I also made a side in addition to the soup. Where did you get the idea that I was starving anyone?

[Anonymous]

Your “let the food speak for itself” cooking sounds incredibly bland. I am sure your BF has enough experience with your cooking to know he’s going to want more flavor on his portion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he complain about what you make?

No he likes it and says so and eats a lot of it. I think it's probably exposure - he hasn't been around foodie life much and doesn't realize what makes some things better than others and appreciate them.

What you have described about your style of cooking and example is not “foodie life”. You make plain food using fresh ingredients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't say this anywhere without sounding like the a**hole.

My boyfriend is a wonderful kind human being and I love him.

That being said, I buy nice fresh local ingredients and cook a lot. He'll do stuff like immediately dump store bought salsa on things. I made a veggie/ham split pea soup and he put a slice of frozen lasagna I made for the kids *in the soup*. It drives me insane! I try not to get offended because the point of cooking is the sharing of company and serving others right?

The salsa --Maybe the food is bland
The soup --he wanted to make it more filling and actually a meal, kids are going to hungry after eating split pea and ham *soup* for dinner

Here's the pet peeve part - he does it before tasting it. So everyone saying it's my cooking, no.

There is no reason not to eat lasagna on the side instead of in a soup where it doesn't belong. Face palm. I just rolled my eyes.

Kids aren't going hungry. The crappy frozen lasagna was for them. I also made a side in addition to the soup. Where did you get the idea that I was starving anyone?

Your description of the easy breezy beautiful light and airy California food that you make. If it really was good and filling, no one would feel the need to supplement it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re being too sensitive. He’s not rejecting your food or complaining about it. Unless he has a bad attitude when he makes his additions, I think it’s fine to make additions. I’m sure you’re a great cook, but people sometimes have different tastes.

Salsa is a very popular condiment. Would you be equally offended if he added a little salt to his food? Pepper? Hot sauce? Maybe he’s just having a craving. Sometimes, I crave weird things (onions, mustard, tuna, etc.). I generally don’t know why, but I feel better after I satisfy the craving, so I assume it’s meeting sone sort of nutritional need.

I’m not sure why he would have put the lasagna in the soup (but now I kind of want to try it). Maybe he was extra hungry or thought the lasagna looked so good he wanted to have some too, and didn’t want to dirty an extra dish?

The point is that he does seem to appreciate your cooking, but also has his own preferences which can be different from yours without being an indictment of yours. I think even “foodies” are allowed to have different preferences, and while his may be unconventional, it doesn’t make them any less valid.

You're taking me much too seriously. Maybe all the crazy DCUMers on here. I love him. It annoys me to cook something, and yes, have him immediately smother it in canned salsa before trying. I view this as bad manners but it's a foodie thing, I accept that not everyone is a foodie. I have plenty of my own bad habits that he puts up with.

People are “taking you” as you have posted. It seems you don’t like the reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your “let the food speak for itself” cooking sounds incredibly bland. I am sure your BF has enough experience with your cooking to know he’s going to want more flavor on his portion.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think you're being too critical and over-sensitive. I thought you were gonna say he refused to eat your food or didn't like it.

He's eating it!

He's just adding additional things. That wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I, like you, really like to cook and take pride in cooking.

My DH prefers simple tastes (boiled frozen veggies and plain chicken and non spicy food at all times). I like lots of fresh foods, lots of sauces, and lots of flavor. My DH will totally eat 90% of my food, but if I put out 6 condiments for, say, Tinga tacos, he'll take cheese, lettuce, cilantro, and pico, whereas I'll add hot sauce and chipotle sour cream. If I roast veggies he'll eat potatoes and carrots and leave the tomatoes (to intense!) brussels sprouts (eww, too vinegary and gross veggie) to me.

If your DH is using lasagna as a seasoning but otherwise eating your food, that's hilarious, not irksome.

Maybe your "California style" foods are too light and too flavorless for him? And yes, I know veggies can "shine" on their own and have a flavor, but TBH, as much as I like fresh veggies, I would not go for this.

[Anonymous]

This is not something to break up over.

You gave different tastes.

But you are complaining about someone who likes salmon burgers and salad. And happily eats Ca style cooking. That is not bad at all.

It really sounds like you need an audience to praise how much you fuss.

Accept that it is for yourself, or stop doing it.

He is not at fault here.