Platonic boy girl friendships in high school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:0.0%

Why would she lose her friend? Is this boy the friend's boyfriend?

OP here. The boy is DD’s best friend. I’m worried if they get together and then break up, it will make it awkward and they won’t be able to go back to just being friends.

You have to let her live her life the way that works for her. Everyone makes this mistake at least once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

[Anonymous]

Are we in the 1950's or something? I mean I graduated high school in the 90's and had a guy friend since ES and we still see each other and our families to this day.

Of course guys and girls can be friends. I definitely had WAY more fun hanging out with my guy friends or co-ed hangouts in high school and college than just girls.

Some friendships are purely platonic, some of them one may be more interested than friends, and some develop feelings over time. Our job as parents are to let these blossom on their own and allow our kids autonomy to choose their paths. Unless something gets extremely unhealthy and then you step in.

And yes, she may be not telling you they are dating to keep you off their backs. And if you are posting here concern about just a platonic male friendship, I can see why they might not be telling you.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that comment that males and females can't be friends is absurd and definitely written by an older man, who probably never raised children.

I have a great guy friend from HS who I keep in touch with to this day and our families are friendly. I also have a good guy friend from college who is happily married and just welcomed a baby.... he was an usher in MY wedding 15 years ago. We never, ever had any interest in each other. These stories are not unique, either.

OP- just stay out of it and let her experience however it goes. It's like how the butterfly has to struggle to break out of the chrysalis-- if you just cut it open, the muscles aren't strong enough and they can't fly. The struggle makes them strong and capable.

My parents thought that they were amazing because they limited my social life. It led to me not fully understanding how relationships work and being treated badly when I finally got some male attention. Let sh*t fall where it may-- in HS, when the stakes are low.

[Anonymous]

My best friend in high school was a guy, the funniest person I knew. He was a big part of my teen years. He came out as gay senior year.

Another guy I met my last summer after college where I was free and on my own. We worked at a summer resort as servers. His girlfriend worked in another part of the complex. I don’t know what was going on there but another funny guy where we had the best time and a lot of laughs. We would ride our bikes after midnight to the ocean and go swimming. We would sneak food from the kitchen when all the kitchen help left. We both loved being together as friends. Sadly they moved back South when the summer was over.

But I think it’s true that usually it’s the guy who wants to take it to the next level and that can be disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Of course boys and girls can remain platonic friends and everyone can be straight.

My son has a friend he grew up with who is a girl. They've been close since they were 5. He views her as a sister.

This idea that all males are so uncontrollably horny they would jump on any female in their presence if given a chance is kind of silly. I'm sure some are like that I guess. But it's not the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

When that happens it’s great. I had some good friends who were guys but they almost always ended up with them becoming sexually attracted. It can be devastating when it happens unless you feel the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

Me too!!! Who are these people who think women and men can't be friends? It's sad really. I'd have missed a lot of great friendships in my life if I thought like that.

Some people aren't attracted to each other. That's it. It's not that complicated.

[Anonymous]

What brand of helicopter are you exactly? Bell, Airbus or Sikorsky.

At your DD age I would be mortified if my mother got involved in worrying about my relationships….even if I asked her for advice.

Why do some parents refuse to allow their children to get hurt, get fired, make mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

So many incorrect statements here. Are you living in the 40s or something? You need to get outside more, people are friends with people, not their genitals.

[Anonymous]

She’s knows to use some form of birth control if it comes to that right? Well you have nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

Or they’ve hooked up at least once and you don’t know about it.

Let me tell you how awkward it can be to be the parent who knows… (we’re close!)

Good news OP, they’re cool again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:0.0%

Why would she lose her friend? Is this boy the friend's boyfriend?

You don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

Me too!!! Who are these people who think women and men can't be friends? It's sad really. I'd have missed a lot of great friendships in my life if I thought like that.

Some people aren't attracted to each other. That's it. It's not that complicated.

Do you live under a rock? Or are in denial? You are clearly a woman.

The main thing driving men outside of puberty to stay in a close friendship with a woman is sexual tension/attraction. You are only BFFs as long as he is single. Once he has a girlfriend, and if it isn’t the BFF, the constant texting and frequent hang outs with girl BFF will drastically reduce. Women love male friends because they give them more attention and are nicer than female friends. They are not the same with their male friends. There are reasons for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

I agree with this PP. My DS has a best friend since K that is a girl. She is like a sister to him. I can't see them ever dating. I always had male friends that were just friends. Some of us can do this.

Me too!!! Who are these people who think women and men can't be friends? It's sad really. I'd have missed a lot of great friendships in my life if I thought like that.

Some people aren't attracted to each other. That's it. It's not that complicated.

Do you live under a rock? Or are in denial? You are clearly a woman.

The main thing driving men outside of puberty to stay in a close friendship with a woman is sexual tension/attraction. You are only BFFs as long as he is single. Once he has a girlfriend, and if it isn’t the BFF, the constant texting and frequent hang outs with girl BFF will drastically reduce. Women love male friends because they give them more attention and are nicer than female friends. They are not the same with their male friends. There are reasons for this.

There is an exception to this: the girl is unattractive.

But in most cases, teenage boys are driven by one thing (you get 1 guess).