Platonic boy girl friendships in high school

[Anonymous]

DD 16 has been friends with a boy for about a year. Over the past few months they have become very close. This weekend they went ice skating on Saturday (other friends were there too) but when I picked her up it was just the two of them left at the rink. Then on Sunday they went and played basketball together (just the two of them). They are constantly texting and communicating through Snapchat. All day long it seems.
My question is, what is the chance that this will remain platonic?
I worry that if they start dating and then break up, DD will lose one of her best friends, and she doesn’t have many friends.

[Anonymous]

0.0%

Why would she lose her friend? Is this boy the friend's boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

She has to be able to make mistakes and learn from them.

I recently posted similarly (not exactly) and realized I need to be hands off. My concern wasn’t for my kid, who is great. It was for this really nice boy. And that they do an extracurricular together. I guess I’ve been there in life, where it’s so awkward afterward, and she did the same with a boy last year.

But it’s all normal to get together, break up and be awkward. We can’t prevent them from living.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:0.0%

Why would she lose her friend? Is this boy the friend's boyfriend?

OP here. The boy is DD’s best friend. I’m worried if they get together and then break up, it will make it awkward and they won’t be able to go back to just being friends.

[Anonymous]

You need to let this one play out and not worry about what might happen down the line.

[Anonymous]

My son has many very good platonic female friends and there is 0% chance they will try to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:0.0%

Why would she lose her friend? Is this boy the friend's boyfriend?

OP here. The boy is DD’s best friend. I’m worried if they get together and then break up, it will make it awkward and they won’t be able to go back to just being friends.

That’s the plot of many romantic comedies!

[Anonymous]

100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

[Anonymous]

Your concern is not unreasonable, but at this age, she has to make her own decisions.

[Anonymous]

My DD15 has a lot of platonic guy friends - two that are like brothers and probably in her top 5 friends. One of them since K/1st grade. I will say one she was close with a guy friend for a few months and they got very close and then they started dating and have been together for 4 months now. So it isn’t out of the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% guarantee he wants to be more than friends. Maybe he will make a move, maybe not. Maybe she will. Men and women aren’t meant to be “best friends.” One always wants more. Either they will get together or find other mates and their friendship will shift. But you have no control over this. Why even think about it?

NP here but I'm wondering if it's your life experience that makes you think this, or if you have actual experience raising children?

My teen has a boy best friend- who she has been best friends with since K. So you are saying he wants more than friendship? And if he didn't, he would have ditched the friendship by now? Sorry, this makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure there's anything you can be involved with here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 16 has been friends with a boy for about a year. Over the past few months they have become very close. This weekend they went ice skating on Saturday (other friends were there too) but when I picked her up it was just the two of them left at the rink. Then on Sunday they went and played basketball together (just the two of them). They are constantly texting and communicating through Snapchat. All day long it seems.
My question is, what is the chance that this will remain platonic?
I worry that if they start dating and then break up, DD will lose one of her best friends, and she doesn’t have many friends.

Kindly, this doesn't have anything to do with you. Maybe this friendship will progress to something else; maybe it won't. Maybe the friendship will end or change (maybe because the relationship progresses to something else, maybe because the relationship doesn't progress to something else and one of them wanted it to, maybe for some other reason altogether), but such is the way of relationships. They change. Try not to worry about it, because it's not hepful and doesn't affect anything. Try to instill resilience and confidence in your kid so that they know they can manage and be ok if/when relationships in their lives change, since that will surely happen in life.

[Anonymous]

Platonic relationships at this age are normal, but it's also normal for them to shift from platonic to romantic too. And there's nothing you can or should do about that.

And you also can't overlook the fact that they might be telling you the relationship is platonic, to keep you off of their backs, while it's something more to them. As parents, you aren't going to know the innermost thoughts of your teens at all times. And that's ok.

[Anonymous]

My DS is one of those platonic friends. There are girls that he likes only as friends. Their BFs are not threatened by him so if they decide to grab coffee + pastry, no scenes are made.