Barbie movie 'iconic' monologue is BS

[Anonymous]

Too long, get to the point!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:please designate your gender before you post on this one... Dudes can't relate.

'I'm a woman' in OP is a hint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you’ve been paying attention. I can tell by your last misogynist line — women need to be spoon fed wellness and beauty products. That that would even happen proves the point.

Is it 'anti-men' to assume that many men are in the market for a good bbq grill or exercise equipment, especially if that assumption seems to be supported by real life evidence (significant portion of men I know show interest in bbq'ing and either have a good grill or would like to own one)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’ve never experienced any of this, OP? I mean, ever Taylor Swift, who is much younger than me, talks about a lot of this in the song “The Man”.

Spent a few hours around the relationships, family relationships, and parenting boards, not even to get into the diet and fitness boards to see how women feel about their bodies due to media and societal pressure. Women who are scared to take full maternity leaves, women who even question Capri pants. C’mon.

Sorry, but a few hours driving on DCUM is the explanation for this monologue, if you have any awareness.

Aren’t we always told that social media isn’t real life?

I agree with OP. I am a 43 year old woman. I haven’t felt pressure like what’s described since middle school. After which I decided to do my own thing, as most reasonably secure and self-aware people hopefully do. I’ve never been beautiful enough to be vain. I’ve always worked hard and excelled. I don’t apologize for my family or work choices and I DGAF if you think I’m a monster for sending my kids to day care while I worked. I took 6 months unpaid maternity leave with each kid that I unplanned and saved for and it didn’t hurt my career at all. In fact I got promoted to the highest position I can reach at my workplace, while 6 months pregnant with kid #2. I’ve never been sexually harassed at work. And I have worked in all-male workplaces. I’ve also had terrific female bosses. I’m a religious minority but I haven’t experienced discrimination at work either.

I know there are women who have experienced all these things and I am sorry for it, but it’s not universal. And it is certainly not “literally” impossible to be a woman in America since, you know, many of us are females and alive.

You know where it sucks to be a working woman with a family? Japan. They’ve been stuck in the 60s since before the 60s. I lived and worked there for a few years and it’s exactly what my mother described of her life in the 60s and 70s where her employer tried to fire her when she got pregnant, her doctor threatened to spank her because she kept her maiden name when she married, and she couldn’t get a car loan in her own name when married even though all the income was hers (my dad was in grad school). If Barbie wants to write a screed about that, I’m all in. Modern expectations and barriers don’t remotely compare to what women experienced a generation ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I agree with you. Which legit authority is setting these impossible goals for woman? Which healthy women believe that these are reasonable goals? This speech is so much drama. The only people I'd guess would believe and repeat this are young girls, maybe teenagers with very limited life experience.

From my experience, that speech is a lie. Being a woman in US is just fine and a long way from "literally impossible." I look average, have an average job, never tried to perfectly fit a mold. Going against these supposed standards has caused me no harm because these goals are not real. I've apparently failed as a woman compared to these "impossible" musts and yet I have lovely children, a happy marriage, and a very decent peaceful life. Whoever wrote that speech is a liar and probably was aiming to manipulate a naive audience.

I feel the exact same way. When I saw that diatribe/dialogue my eyes rolled so far back into my head they almost got stuck.

Telling women that they should believe this BS is toxic and helps no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not that no woman is happy or that you can't be an imperfect woman. The monologue is mainly just about how the expectations for women are constantly contradictory, and this makes it hard ("impossible") to feel like you are meeting expectations because no matter what you do, it's wrong.

Like I'm a thin woman and in theory this means I'm meeting societal beauty standards, but here's a short list of body shaming things I've heard about my thin body: real women have curves, you can't be that thin without an eating disorder, eat a sandwich, itty bitty titty committee, flat a$$, men don't like a woman without a little meat on her, skinny women age faster. That's my reward for being thin. It's great!

Similarly, women are pretty much universally expected to want to be mothers and the social pressure to have kids is quite great, but the minute you become a mom it's like people are annoyed at you for being a mom. They roll their eyes at moms who speak up for their kids but they criticize moms who don't "do enough" for them. Working moms are told they don't spend enough time with their kids, SAHMs are told they are lazy. A mom who is involved at school is a busy body and "bored" but a mom who isn't involved at school clearly isn't invested in their kid's education. Meanwhile, no one ever asks a man if he's going to keep working after he becomes a dad, and people used to walk up to my husband at the grocery store when he was there alone with our DD to tell him what a great dad he was.... for doing something I did all the time and no one seemed to care (or they'd be annoyed with me for bringing my kid to the grocery store).

And regarding work, women are told that they must be assertive to be taken seriously at work, but there is STILL a "likability" cost to women for assertiveness. I do feel this one has gotten better and that it's better in some fields than others, but it does still happen.

So I don't agree with every aspect of that monologue, but the gist of it definitely felt true to me. It's not that it's impossible to be a woman, it's that it's impossible to meet societal expectations for women because they are full of contradictions, and this keeps women feeling like we are failing all the time even when we're doing pretty well.

I was a skeptical PP and I appreciated this, along with the PP who said it could hit different generations differently.

[Anonymous]

The monologue was totally accurate but also dated. I would have expected that in a feminist-leaning movie in the 1990s. A fresh take and new approach was needed in Barbie to make it relevant to 2023.
Loved the casting, clothes, sets and so much more, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the Barbie movie had too many preachy monologues.

The film conveyed the trap of sexism just fine without them, and the director should have cut them.

What other monologues were there?

There was the one by her mom, that went something like - I’m living all of my dreams through you, sacrifices everything etc. hmmm. Personally, I’m living my own life and my daughter isn’t going to be burdened by the choices that I made or things I did or didn’t do. It furthered the mommy martyrdom mentality that most women I know reject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Barbie movie was great fun, other than the monologue by America Ferrera's character. Women have to be EXTRAORDINARY etc etc. Of course, the whole speech is entirely predictable and seems to be exactly what most modern American women tell themselves all the time. Monologue below.

Who, may I ask, is expecting and demanding those things from you? I see women every day who act selfish, are overweight and not pretty, can be rude at times or show off... and most of them probably have partners and kids and families, and they certainly seem to have normal lives and economic agency. They don't seem to be worse off than men, in general. So where does this 'a woman can't be this or that' come from? Do you think your husbands think you're perfect, and only love you on that condition? Hehe. Do you honestly think and believe than pressure on women at a workplace is considerably worse than pressure on men?
WHO is blaming you for 'doing everything wrong'?

I'm a woman and I don't have any sense that American life is a perpetual anti-woman hellscape. What?
This 'It is literally impossible to be a woman' [sic!] line of thinking is, of course, a great way to sell endless amounts of self-care products and services. Great marketing idea of our times!

***

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

How fortunate for you. Your happiness indicates you must have enjoyed the rock you have obviously been living under.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the Barbie movie had too many preachy monologues.

The film conveyed the trap of sexism just fine without them, and the director should have cut them.

What other monologues were there?

There was the one by her mom, that went something like - I’m living all of my dreams through you, sacrifices everything etc. hmmm. Personally, I’m living my own life and my daughter isn’t going to be burdened by the choices that I made or things I did or didn’t do. It furthered the mommy martyrdom mentality that most women I know reject.

I don’t remember that. Do you have a link?

[Anonymous]

The move had a potential to be a great summer comedy. Instead, they were preaching about trivial issues for an hour+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The move had a potential to be a great summer comedy. Instead, they were preaching about trivial issues for an hour+.

"Trivial"? Definitely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you’ve been paying attention. I can tell by your last misogynist line — women need to be spoon fed wellness and beauty products. That that would even happen proves the point.

Is it 'anti-men' to assume that many men are in the market for a good bbq grill or exercise equipment, especially if that assumption seems to be supported by real life evidence (significant portion of men I know show interest in bbq'ing and either have a good grill or would like to own one)?

No, of course not. That's not what OP suggested. If you read it, she suggests the "it's impossible to be a woman" monologue suggests that all a women needs is wellness product to make her whole, which was the point of the speech and movie. If her thesis is correct, that means there was a boardroom of men (remember only 20% of women service on boards*) who are gaslighting women by using a movie's "iconic monologue" to sell products. Isn't OP gaslighting legions of women who do feel there is truth in that monologue? For her it's BS, ergo it's BS for all women >> it's just a ploy by men to get stupid women to spend $$.

[Anonymous]

* link - https://corpgov.law.harvard.edu/2022/03/05/women-in-the-boardroom-2022-update/#:~:text=The%20global%20average%20of%20women,over%20twenty%20years%20from%20now.

[Anonymous]

Summary of OP: “I haven’t suffered personally, so nobody else’s suffering can possibly be real, because I am the main character.”