Picky, underweight, alzheimer mother - force or not force food?
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Anonymous
| Don’t make her eat. She’ll just start pocketing it in her cheeks and cause other issues. Not eating is unfortunately part of the disease. Let her eat what she wants. I think my family member ate nothing but pudding and cake and a little juice for the last few months. |
Anonymous
Why are you forcing your father to drink water? This is part of the natural dying process. Kindly, perhaps it's time to let him go. |
Anonymous
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My mom was sick a couple years ago. Didn't want to eat. Needed protein to heal. I made her a lot of shakes with protein drink as the liquid.
If there is anything she WILL eat regularly, let her have that and tweak it a little if you can. |
Anonymous
| Know that you have tried your best to make things as good as possible for your mom, and it is ok. |
Anonymous
| This is a natural part of the disease process. I would not force anything. |
Anonymous
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My loved one also started to lose interest in food in the late stages. This was followed by gradually losing the ability to chew and eventually swallow.
Unfortunately, the end stages are very psychologically hard. It's not her or you, it's the disease. Even if she was eating everything you put in front of her, it would not stop the disease progression. I would double check she doesn't have a UTI or something medically wrong with her, just to be sure. She might be in pain, and that can reduce appetite. Hospice told me often Alzheimer's patients are in pain, they just can't express it. |
Anonymous
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OP I'm sorry for what you're going through. I don't think many people are prepared to care for their parents - I know I wasn't. There are often no right or wrong answers - trust your instincts and do your best. Talk to her doctor of course. And instead of forcing, just ask on a regular basis if she would like something to eat.
My Dad was in hospice and hadn't eaten ANYTHING for 3 weeks, not even applesauce with crushed up pills. He would take a couple of sips of water to swallow pills and keep his mouth moist. I thought for sure that not eating or drinking for that long would kill him but he just kept going. On the first day of football season we turned on the game to "watch" with him (he slept almost all day) and one of my siblings said "this is just like being at the game, all we need are some hot dogs" and my Dad sat up and said he'd like a hot dog. No amount of pushing til that point could convince him to eat anything, but suddenly in that moment he wanted a hot dog. Another sibling sped to 7/11 and brought back a hot dog and my Dad took exactly one bite and went back to sleep. But that was the start of a turn around for him and his appetite got better and he eventually came off hospice and recovered. I know your mom won't recover but I hope that this helps in some way - if this is tl/dr for you, don't push food but do suggest it every now and then and you never know what might happen. Last little bit of advice from me, if you can afford therapy (both financially and time wise) it really helps having someone to speak with when you are a caretaker. Really. If you need a referral, your mom's case manager might be able to recommend someone. |
Anonymous
| Do whatever -doesn't- cause you resentment. At her age, she will decide when it's time ... to stop eating, and not last much longer. |
Anonymous
You eventually have to even give up on this as well. I have read about some special water products that look like jelly made especially for dementia patients: https://www.jellydrops.us/ At the end, we just opted to give our dad whatever he was willing to eat or drink, it's just all part of the disease and eventually they can't swallow. |
Anonymous
We gave my Mom Jelly Drops. Put them in the refrigerator and gave them to her as a snack. |
Anonymous
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What about a smoothie type of drink.
Bland noodles Ice cream or yogurt Crackers with peanut butte or toast Also, mention it to the doctor and see what is suggested. Sorry you are facing this. |
Anonymous
| You should have a hospice consult. Having my Alzheimer’s mother in hospice was so helpful. We found no reason to try and prolonged my mother’s life once her Alzheimers really started to advance. We would encourage my mom to eat whatever she wanted (milkshakes!). The nurse would come to the house to check on her and the doctor periodically. Good luck, it is a very cruel disease! |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks to all for your advice. My mother is still “there” to an extent, so she will eat certain foods by herself. She just will suddenly stop liking a food she used to love. I would love just to have eat bland noodles, crackers, protein shakes, but she is prone to constipation, plus, she is a bit obsessed with her bowel functions. Anyway, I will just focus on making sure she gets some fiber in, and crackers with hummus and cream cheese looks like her go-to diet for the near future, along with fruit. |
Anonymous
+1. This will cause him to aspirate into his lungs and develop a respiratory infection. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP,
1. Get a red placemat for her. Get red plates for her. Get red handled forks, knives and spoons (on Amazon) While you are at her change out her toilet seat to red. This will really help. The eyes can see the food but it is tough for the brain to interpret the food on the plate. The red color will help the food stand out and helps with appetite and eating. Mom has very late stage alzheimers. She is probably at 18 years in the disease. What she had for many years: Breakfast (every morning) Bacon 2 eggs Toast (mom's is gluten free) A lot of butter on the toast and on the eggs Some sliced avacado sometimes banana her breakfast is pretty large, this is every day Lunch protein--meat, chicken fish or pork, try for salmon frequently starch--rice, sweet potato or white potato butter--a lot of butter on the starch and on the veggie veggie--add a lot of butter dinner--same as lunch dinner can be a tougher meal as the patient will get tired, she may eat less at dinner snacks--banana banana and some peanut butter ice cream (occasionally) liquid kefir (we called it a milk shake) in the yogurt department Does MOm still walk outside? If so get a daily walk in. This will help with appetite. I'm not a huge fan of boost and ensure because corn syrup is generally the main ingredient and corn syrup is the enemy of the brain function. If you supplement with boost or ensure I'd try to find one that does not have corn syrup as the #1 ingredient. But...my opinion only, do what you need to do. Avacados, a lot of butter, bacon, liquid kefir, some ice cream will get her more calories |