Picky, underweight, alzheimer mother - force or not force food?

[Anonymous]

I'm the 17:29 poster

Forgot to mention if she is still drinking water on her own order some red plastic cups from Amazon. These really help.

Also the magnesium glycinate: 200 mg or 300 mg or 400 mg given at the end of dinner really helps with constipation, helps with sundowning, helps with anxiety/stress, helps with sleep. This has truly been a miracle supplement as we have traversed the disease.

[Anonymous]

17:29 poster again

Also it helps if someone, a caregiver or you eat meals at the same time as her. We told caregivers to sit and eat at same time with Mom.

[Anonymous]

This is so tough. If she were an earlier stage I would agree with some of the suggestions and they may still apply. I would talk to the neurologist about what is the most humane thing to do. I know by the end my parent was choking on food before ability to eat ceased. There is a big risk of aspiration pneumonia. I like the idea mentioned of smoothies. Part of her complaints may be swallowing difficulties. At this stage it doesn't matter if it's lots of sugar and unhealthy stuff because they might as well enjoy the process of getting calories.

[Anonymous]

My 98 year old grandmother also has been eating very little in the last couple of years. But she loves cake and pastries, so that has become a major part of her diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 98 year old grandmother also has been eating very little in the last couple of years. But she loves cake and pastries, so that has become a major part of her diet.

My mom subsists on cookies in between her assisted living meals. It’s the only thing she likes and honestly at this stage of the game I’m not going to fight her on it. The volume of cookies she eats is staggering. She’s mid-late stage dementia.

[Anonymous]

Great advice, 23:25!

OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. It is normal, sadly. Just encourage her to eat whatever strikes her fancy.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. She LOVES the frozen mini quiches I get at Safeway. She may only eat like 4-5 each time. I just feel guilty feeding her those because of the amount of salt they have. She takes meds for high blood pressure, so I try to keep an eye on her salt intake. But now, I guess, I have to just let go, and give her whatever makes her happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. She LOVES the frozen mini quiches I get at Safeway. She may only eat like 4-5 each time. I just feel guilty feeding her those because of the amount of salt they have. She takes meds for high blood pressure, so I try to keep an eye on her salt intake. But now, I guess, I have to just let go, and give her whatever makes her happy!

Let it go. By this stage, my health conscious father was eating copious amounts of cake and loving it.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely let her eat whatever she wants. I have a loved one in the moderate stage and she has gained 20 pounds in 2 years, but eating is her comfort and that is all that matters to me. I know she will lose tons of weight in the final stage, unfortunately. I am just grateful she still loves to eat and can eat.

If constipation is an issue, you can use sena and/or Miralax regularly. It can be an issue in these stages because of less mobility and fiber in the diet. Prune juice is also good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not force it. It is nature's way of easing her transition to the end. I'm sorry, OP. It was very hard to watch my mother go through this.

This.

[Anonymous]

In Alzheimer’s care in a memory care facility, the patient is put on hospice when they stop eating.

My mother stopped eating and then began again. Sadly, they gave her morphine and left her on a couch, and that killed her.

If your mother is not eating, it’s part of the disease. I tried to get my mom to drink ensure and so on and that was frustrating and just prolongs a miserable life.

[Anonymous]

My late stage mom loves sweet potatoes, fruit, and a sweet ethnic gruel similar to oatmeal. Experiment widely.

[Anonymous]

Does she want her life extended? If not, you can just let her lack of appetite progress naturally. She has lived a very long life.

My mom with dementia lost the ability to swallow before she lost her appetite. Believe me, I would much rather she had progressed to lack of appetite first....the puréed food was just hideous and she hated it, but even that was risky for her, as was just drinking water.

I'd consider this a blessing. Let her eat when she is hungry, whatever she likes. No need to push anything else!

[Anonymous]

The doctors told us just to give my grandmother foods that would make her happy. She was so scared and miserable so much of the time, he suggested we just try to bring her some comfort. We weren't trying to extend her life at that point, just make it as best it could be.

We ended up making her an elaborate banana split or sundaes every night for dinner for months. Her eyes would light up with the mounds of whipped cream and sprinkles. She'd act like a little kid again. It was often the only time the whole day she was happy. She never ate much of the sundae, but it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Alzheimer’s care in a memory care facility, the patient is put on hospice when they stop eating.

My mother stopped eating and then began again. Sadly, they gave her morphine and left her on a couch, and that killed her.

If your mother is not eating, it’s part of the disease. I tried to get my mom to drink ensure and so on and that was frustrating and just prolongs a miserable life.

I'm sorry, I'm sure that it was hard for you. But what a blessing that she didn't have to suffer longer than necessary.