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Reply to "Picky, underweight, alzheimer mother - force or not force food?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I'm sorry for what you're going through. I don't think many people are prepared to care for their parents - I know I wasn't. There are often no right or wrong answers - trust your instincts and do your best. Talk to her doctor of course. And instead of forcing, just ask on a regular basis if she would like something to eat.

My Dad was in hospice and hadn't eaten ANYTHING for 3 weeks, not even applesauce with crushed up pills. He would take a couple of sips of water to swallow pills and keep his mouth moist. I thought for sure that not eating or drinking for that long would kill him but he just kept going. On the first day of football season we turned on the game to "watch" with him (he slept almost all day) and one of my siblings said "this is just like being at the game, all we need are some hot dogs" and my Dad sat up and said he'd like a hot dog. No amount of pushing til that point could convince him to eat anything, but suddenly in that moment he wanted a hot dog. Another sibling sped to 7/11 and brought back a hot dog and my Dad took exactly one bite and went back to sleep. But that was the start of a turn around for him and his appetite got better and he eventually came off hospice and recovered.

I know your mom won't recover but I hope that this helps in some way - if this is tl/dr for you, don't push food but do suggest it every now and then and you never know what might happen.

Last little bit of advice from me, if you can afford therapy (both financially and time wise) it really helps having someone to speak with when you are a caretaker. Really. If you need a referral, your mom's case manager might be able to recommend someone.[/quote]

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