Help settle a debate about saying grace

[Anonymous]

if at someone else's house or out with a group of non-grace sayers, you just say it quietly in your head.

[Anonymous]

If grace-sayer is hosting in their private residence, I think it's fine to say out loud. I would not expect "nons" to have to join hands, bow heads or participate (though I guess waiting to eat would be the polite thing).

If grace-sayer is an invited guest at a "nons" home, they should not try to control the custom, and say it in their head to themselves, and I would not expect others to participate or wait to eat.

If we are in a public restaurant, I would not expect the grace-sayer to control the custom, and they can say it to themselves and not expect others to participate or wait to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If grace-sayer is hosting in their private residence, I think it's fine to say out loud. I would not expect "nons" to have to join hands, bow heads or participate (though I guess waiting to eat would be the polite thing).

If grace-sayer is an invited guest at a "nons" home, they should not try to control the custom, and say it in their head to themselves, and I would not expect others to participate or wait to eat.

If we are in a public restaurant, I would not expect the grace-sayer to control the custom, and they can say it to themselves and not expect others to participate or wait to eat.

Wait, you actually expect people to forgo a custom because YOU don't like it, even though they would NEVER ask you to participate? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

If the grace sayer is hosting, they lead the way. Hosting means in their home or paying for dinner. Or holding an event that they invited people to and are again, paying for.

If the grace sayer wants a group grace, in a situation where all hosting is equal or shared, they should ASK the group if they’d join in and then respect the answer. And keep it short and simple.

In many mixed or public circumstances, a personal prayer is more appropriate and it is not rude for others to just eat and NOT join or pause.

[Anonymous]

I say it in my head in a group (even at my home) because I'm self conscious about being perceived as religious, but absolutely number one. People should be able to say it if they want to, and it's respectful for others to be quiet.

I think it's weird to make it about the location. It's something a person does out of sincere religious belief. It's not some weird power struggle over who's running the show.

[Anonymous]

For houses i think the answer is pretty clear - follow your normal customs.

Restaurants are tricky. I guess keep it very short?

[Anonymous]

Say grace with a consenting group before you go to the table, or make an ecumenically inclusive statement at the table, or whisper/mutter at the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say it in my head in a group (even at my home) because I'm self conscious about being perceived as religious, but absolutely number one. People should be able to say it if they want to, and it's respectful for others to be quiet.

I think it's weird to make it about the location. It's something a person does out of sincere religious belief. It's not some weird power struggle over who's running the show.

"Sincere religious belief" is exactly the same as "personal preference".
Your beliefs aren't my beliefs, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Grace is determined by host family. If you want to say grace at the home of someone who doesn't say grace, say it quietly to yourself.

And no grace in a restaurant, unless it's just your grace-saying family at the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say it in my head in a group (even at my home) because I'm self conscious about being perceived as religious, but absolutely number one. People should be able to say it if they want to, and it's respectful for others to be quiet.

I think it's weird to make it about the location. It's something a person does out of sincere religious belief. It's not some weird power struggle over who's running the show.

"Sincere religious belief" is exactly the same as "personal preference".
Your beliefs aren't my beliefs, and vice versa.

Yes, it isn't about the sincerity of their beliefs. Some people blow themselves up in restaurants out of sincere religious beliefs. That doesn't make it appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Not religious myself, but not the slightest bit bothered if someone wants to say grace before a meal. It’s not hard to pause and listen for a moment.

[Anonymous]

I'm an atheist. If someone invited to dinner wants to say a quick prayer before their meal, they are welcome to. I would appreciate a heads up, so that I can let everyone know that Suzy would like to say a prayer, and could we all be quiet before starting dinner. If out at a restaurant, I would refrain from eating while they said their prayer.

This is not onerous. I don't see what the problem is with letting someone go ahead with their prayer. It's not like it's harming anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist. If someone invited to dinner wants to say a quick prayer before their meal, they are welcome to. I would appreciate a heads up, so that I can let everyone know that Suzy would like to say a prayer, and could we all be quiet before starting dinner. If out at a restaurant, I would refrain from eating while they said their prayer.

This is not onerous. I don't see what the problem is with letting someone go ahead with their prayer. It's not like it's harming anyone.

So the people of different beliefs should not be respected? Why can’t the person with the belief pray quietly, and be thankful to their God quietly? Then everybody can deal with it on their own terms in accordance with their own beliefs.

I mean this example in a public place with a mixed group, not in a private home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say it in my head in a group (even at my home) because I'm self conscious about being perceived as religious, but absolutely number one. People should be able to say it if they want to, and it's respectful for others to be quiet.

I think it's weird to make it about the location. It's something a person does out of sincere religious belief. It's not some weird power struggle over who's running the show.

"Sincere religious belief" is exactly the same as "personal preference".
Your beliefs aren't my beliefs, and vice versa.

Yes, it isn't about the sincerity of their beliefs. Some people blow themselves up in restaurants out of sincere religious beliefs. That doesn't make it appropriate.

Oh, FFS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an atheist. If someone invited to dinner wants to say a quick prayer before their meal, they are welcome to. I would appreciate a heads up, so that I can let everyone know that Suzy would like to say a prayer, and could we all be quiet before starting dinner. If out at a restaurant, I would refrain from eating while they said their prayer.

This is not onerous. I don't see what the problem is with letting someone go ahead with their prayer. It's not like it's harming anyone.

So the people of different beliefs should not be respected? Why can’t the person with the belief pray quietly, and be thankful to their God quietly? Then everybody can deal with it on their own terms in accordance with their own beliefs.

I mean this example in a public place with a mixed group, not in a private home.

Their being thankful for their meal is not disrespecting you unless you just hate Christians...