Relationship with an expiration date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell him the truth very soon.

I agree.

It would be kind of heartless to keep this info from him.

Read. He knows.

He know she is moving but he doesn’t know that she wants to break up. I think she should tell him the full truth and then he can decide if they should “enjoy their time together before she moves” or if they should just pull the bandaid off a break up now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this experience years ago. She was moving away and didn't want to try long-distance. I agreed but secretly held out hope. We visited each other a couple times as friends. We're married to other people now.

I think my BF may also be secretly holding out hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell him the truth very soon.

I agree.

It would be kind of heartless to keep this info from him.

Read. He knows.

He know she is moving but he doesn’t know that she wants to break up. I think she should tell him the full truth and then he can decide if they should “enjoy their time together before she moves” or if they should just pull the bandaid off a break up now.

I’ve told him my doubts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

26

Enjoy your time together and break up when you move.

Also, what are you doing on this site at 26???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

26

Enjoy your time together and break up when you move.

Also, what are you doing on this site at 26???

Haha, yes, I’m a demographic outlier!

[Anonymous]

OP. I appreciate everyone’s replies. BF is away on a work trip right now, but when he returns I’ll be more explicit with him and hope we’ll be on the same page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had this experience years ago. She was moving away and didn't want to try long-distance. I agreed but secretly held out hope. We visited each other a couple times as friends. We're married to other people now.

I think my BF may also be secretly holding out hope.

So he knows you are moving *and* want to break up after you do?

[Anonymous]

If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I appreciate everyone’s replies. BF is away on a work trip right now, but when he returns I’ll be more explicit with him and hope we’ll be on the same page.

If you truly don’t see a future with him and you fear he’s holding out hope, it’s best to break it off now. While it might be convenient for you to stay with him until you move, it really isn’t fair to him to keep it going just because it’s easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

Please just break up when he gets back.

Signed,

A man who wishes she had ripped the band aid off sooner so that I could have moved on faster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

Please just break up when he gets back.

Signed,

A man who wishes she had ripped the band aid off sooner so that I could have moved on faster.

How old were you? BF is 25 - I wouldn’t think he’ll have so much trouble moving on that a few more months of being together would be a major issue, but perhaps I’m wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

Please just break up when he gets back.

Signed,

A man who wishes she had ripped the band aid off sooner so that I could have moved on faster.

How old were you? BF is 25 - I wouldn’t think he’ll have so much trouble moving on that a few more months of being together would be a major issue, but perhaps I’m wrong.

Just before I turned 25. You're wrong. If you do it now, he will think that at least you were honest with him. If you wait a few more months, it gets to "she was probably thinking of this all along". How would you like to be treated, OP? Or maybe his trip gives him time to think and he initiates the talk with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

Please just break up when he gets back.

Signed,

A man who wishes she had ripped the band aid off sooner so that I could have moved on faster.

How old were you? BF is 25 - I wouldn’t think he’ll have so much trouble moving on that a few more months of being together would be a major issue, but perhaps I’m wrong.

Just before I turned 25. You're wrong. If you do it now, he will think that at least you were honest with him. If you wait a few more months, it gets to "she was probably thinking of this all along". How would you like to be treated, OP? Or maybe his trip gives him time to think and he initiates the talk with you?

Got it. I already wrote in a previous post that I’ll be having a frank discussion with BF as soon as he returns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you weren’t moving, would you see a future with him? If you’re just not compatible long term, regardless of the move, I think it’s important to be very clear about that so he knows there’s no chance you’ll change your mind. It is super convenient for you to enjoy the last few months of having a boyfriend, if you broke up now it wouldn’t be worth finding someone else to do couples type activities with. But it’s not really fair to him if he wants to settle down with someone to waste his time. But maybe he will be happy to have a few more months of fun with you, as long as he knows that will be it!

If the only reason you would break up is th e move, maybe he would move with you? I ended up giving up a career move in my mid 20s for a guy I had been with for about a year. For me it was definitely the right call - we’ve been happy married with kids for 15 years. In my case, I was crazy about him and it wasn’t really a close call - I didn’t particularly want to live in the city with the job offer, and we both saw a future together. I had tried long distance with someone else in the past and it was a disaster, so that was never an option for me.

I’m not sure if we’re compatible long-term. It’s hard to be clear with BF when I myself am not clear!

Please just break up when he gets back.

Signed,

A man who wishes she had ripped the band aid off sooner so that I could have moved on faster.

How old were you? BF is 25 - I wouldn’t think he’ll have so much trouble moving on that a few more months of being together would be a major issue, but perhaps I’m wrong.

Just before I turned 25. You're wrong. If you do it now, he will think that at least you were honest with him. If you wait a few more months, it gets to "she was probably thinking of this all along". How would you like to be treated, OP? Or maybe his trip gives him time to think and he initiates the talk with you?

Got it. I already wrote in a previous post that I’ll be having a frank discussion with BF as soon as he returns.

Be honest OP. You are in love with him.But of course love is not enough for a commitment. But if you were not moving, do you think the two of you might have had the potential for a future together?