Relationship with an expiration date

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my BF for about a year and do love him; however I don’t necessarily see a future together. First quarter next year I’ll be relocating for a major career opportunity and have doubts a long distance relationship will work but would very much like to enjoy being together until then. Any DCUMers care to share stories about making the most of a relationship with a known expiration date?

[Anonymous]

You should tell him the truth very soon.

[Anonymous]

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

I did this in my early 30s. I was widowed at 29 and this was the first person I had a real relationship with following. He was in the military and was being moved to Alaska, so we officially split when he left. The last month is some of the best memories I made with him. We both knew it was ending, it was heartbreaking the day he left, it’s been about 4 years and we’re still good friends now. I’m glad we made the choice to quit rather than drag it out and let it end on bad terms when long distance just didn’t work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this in my early 30s. I was widowed at 29 and this was the first person I had a real relationship with following. He was in the military and was being moved to Alaska, so we officially split when he left. The last month is some of the best memories I made with him. We both knew it was ending, it was heartbreaking the day he left, it’s been about 4 years and we’re still good friends now. I’m glad we made the choice to quit rather than drag it out and let it end on bad terms when long distance just didn’t work out.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

I had one. I really liked the guy, but I was -- kind of like you -- relocating for work in about 6 months. I was enjoying my time with him, and having fun, but wanted to keep it casual. I wasn't interested in making the relationship work beyond my move. It really hurt him. Looking back, I see that I used him in certain ways and if I had it to do over again I would get out earlier to be fair to him.

I'm not saying this is your situation, or that you can't enjoy what you have. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Does he know you are moving?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you?

26

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this in my early 30s. I was widowed at 29 and this was the first person I had a real relationship with following. He was in the military and was being moved to Alaska, so we officially split when he left. The last month is some of the best memories I made with him. We both knew it was ending, it was heartbreaking the day he left, it’s been about 4 years and we’re still good friends now. I’m glad we made the choice to quit rather than drag it out and let it end on bad terms when long distance just didn’t work out.

Thank you for sharing this. My condolences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he know you are moving?

Yes, I told him.

[Anonymous]

He moved at 35. I wanted to break up. He wanted to do long distance. I did not want to move and tried to break up several times he convinced me we should get married and we got married but I was never happy because I had to move he wanted to live and I never wanted to be there. Married miserably 10 years and then divorced but this entire thing completely on and did the trajectory of my life and I wish to God I had broken up as intended.

Tell him now and get married or break up immediately

[Anonymous]

26. Just break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should tell him the truth very soon.

I agree.

It would be kind of heartless to keep this info from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should tell him the truth very soon.

I agree.

It would be kind of heartless to keep this info from him.

Read. He knows.

[Anonymous]

I had this experience years ago. She was moving away and didn't want to try long-distance. I agreed but secretly held out hope. We visited each other a couple times as friends. We're married to other people now.