If you married a former serial cheater who cheated on everyone but you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men change when their P is no longer working that well. A guy I know had 3 wives cheated on all of them. He stopped on wife #4 who was 30 years younger (he married her when he was 65)

I know a guy just like this. He tried to make me wife, or at least long term companion #3 also with large age gap. The thing was though all the emotional issues that caused the cheating were still there and very disconcerting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men change when their P is no longer working that well. A guy I know had 3 wives cheated on all of them. He stopped on wife #4 who was 30 years younger (he married her when he was 65)

I know a guy just like this. He tried to make me wife, or at least long term companion #3 also with large age gap. The thing was though all the emotional issues that caused the cheating were still there and very disconcerting.

I know the wife #4 - she’s not that happy with him despite all the money etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men change when their P is no longer working that well. A guy I know had 3 wives cheated on all of them. He stopped on wife #4 who was 30 years younger (he married her when he was 65)

I know a guy just like this. He tried to make me wife, or at least long term companion #3 also with large age gap. The thing was though all the emotional issues that caused the cheating were still there and very disconcerting.

I know the wife #4 - she’s not that happy with him despite all the money etc

If it was wife #3 this could be Trump.

[Anonymous]

With my exH his issues were very deep and rooted in childhood. Emotionally he will never change and therefore every future relationship will involve cheating at some point. I have a lot of empathy for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With my exH his issues were very deep and rooted in childhood. Emotionally he will never change and therefore every future relationship will involve cheating at some point. I have a lot of empathy for him.

Just curious, pp, what do you think the issues were?

[Anonymous]

I cheated on many of my girlfriends. Been married 22 years and never so much as flirted with another female and have shot down many offers. I was an immature young adult and decided to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Have seen a friend who cheated on every boyfriend and then fiance get married (to someone different). I think they had 10 good years but then as soon as that relationship had some bumps, she cheated again. I think it's just her coping mechanism -- when she feels bad in a relationship, she just looks for someone else to make her feel good. So I think until that coping mechanism is addressed, cheaters are always at risk of of cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men change when their P is no longer working that well. A guy I know had 3 wives cheated on all of them. He stopped on wife #4 who was 30 years younger (he married her when he was 65)

I know a guy just like this. He tried to make me wife, or at least long term companion #3 also with large age gap. The thing was though all the emotional issues that caused the cheating were still there and very disconcerting.

I know the wife #4 - she’s not that happy with him despite all the money etc

How much money could possibly be left after 3 other wives??!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men change when their P is no longer working that well. A guy I know had 3 wives cheated on all of them. He stopped on wife #4 who was 30 years younger (he married her when he was 65)

I know a guy just like this. He tried to make me wife, or at least long term companion #3 also with large age gap. The thing was though all the emotional issues that caused the cheating were still there and very disconcerting.

I know the wife #4 - she’s not that happy with him despite all the money etc

How much money could possibly be left after 3 other wives??!?

Ohhhhh plenty.

There’s rich and there’s mega wealthy. I’m not PP but I have a multiple-times married mega wealthy member of my family. There’s plenty.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. It's a moral failing and all their trauma and insecurity that led them to do this won't go away. Some women get caught up in being the "special one who he changed for" but that's a false narrative - also based on trauma and insecurity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any personal anecdotes, but I believe people can change. Sometimes bad marriages bring out the worst in people. I refuse to believe that repentance in whatever form you take it can't work or that we are nothing more than our past mistakes.

I agree with all this and I still would not marry a former serial cheater because I think he'd probably cheat on me like he did everyone else. I believe in redemption but I'm not in charge of being anyone's redemption. They can go find a woman who was a serial cheater and they can redeem themselves together.

That's probably true. I dated someone who openly admitted his marriage failed because he cheated. The woman he cheated with was a part of their community and it blew up on him in a horrible way in his community and with his kids. He also admitted to another fling. But, again, he expressed full responsibility, guilt, and expressed a strong desire to move forward and wanted to be married again someday. I moved on because he was too old for me and had kids, but he ended up marrying someone else my age. They've now been married over 10 years and I believe he's fully committed to her. I guess it's all talk because I did break it off with him back then, but he was a really good boyfriend to me and I hope they're happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have seen a friend who cheated on every boyfriend and then fiance get married (to someone different). I think they had 10 good years but then as soon as that relationship had some bumps, she cheated again. I think it's just her coping mechanism -- when she feels bad in a relationship, she just looks for someone else to make her feel good. So I think until that coping mechanism is addressed, cheaters are always at risk of of cheating.

I know women like this. They are all over Ashley Madison. It’s easy for women to find someone to hang since there are few “real” women on there. Slim pickings for the men.

[Anonymous]

Marriage to a cheater (whether he cheated on you or someone else in the past) is a different marriage. You become more accepting that your marriage can end anytime and are prepared and less fearful of a potential fallout. You enjoy it for the moment rather than as a forever proposition.
If you're smart, you have a prenup or postnup and you have a good sense of the position you'll be in if you need to leave because of cheating. The more money that is at risk swinging in your favor in a divorce, the better you'll feel. Having this perspective also gives you more power in your marriage. You are less threatened by other women, because, if he really wants them that badly, fine. You've had some nice years together and that's enough. If there are kids involved, you've had a lot of time to prepare for how you want to handle it because you're married to a known cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cheated on many of my girlfriends. Been married 22 years and never so much as flirted with another female and have shot down many offers. I was an immature young adult and decided to grow up.

After lying to so many women how the heck did you just decide to stop lying?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you end up meeting someone that makes you no longer want to cheat. Cheaters can change if they work on the reason they cheat like needing constant validation and ego boosts. For some cheating is just a pattern and a bad habit that can be broken.