Too much ambition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he actually on track to do this with his career? Does he have an MBA or something and work experience that will lead him down this path?

Because I would also love to run large corporations. But I have a BA in Communications from American University. Reality is that I won’t be at the helm of Google anytime soon.

Even if you are an Ivy grad with a Harvard MBA, the odds are still small that you will run a large company or major parts of it. You have to be in the right place at the right time and have the right people boosting you. And a corporate spouse type helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm back in the dating scene and recently went on a string of dates with this early 30s man.

We ended up talking about careers, and relative life goals etc. What stuck out was he mentioned that he sees himself running large companies in the future and that's his goal.

Any of you have experience with very ambitious guys like this, are they too much?

“Sees himself” doing that or is already doing that.

My adhd BIL had lots of plans…. That remain unplanned…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you want kids, but I nannied for a family where the husband was like this when I was in college and I promised myself I'd never get in a relationship with a guy like that. Sure, he brought in a ton of money, but at the expense of literally EVERYTHING else. The 2 toddlers literally called phones "hi dadas" because they primarily interacted with their dad through the phone. The wife and I were basically the two parents who shared decision making. When he was home before 8/9pm, she would bring him an issue or VERY CLEARLY try to connect with him and he'd 99% of the time suggest throwing money at the money or say he will handle it tomorrow (which would never happen). And the mom was no idiiot- she was a C suite exec at a very well known corporation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HAHAHAHA.

Remember this thread the next time there's a pile on about some man who's not a good PROVIDER.

The days of “provider” being solely a paycheck are long gone. That’s not even table stakes. As you can tell, it also has an inverse relationship to being a real spouse or parent or partner. For men.

Meanwhile female c levels know Wtf is going on in all aspects of their life, home, kids, spouse, elderly parents, friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he actually on track to do this with his career? Does he have an MBA or something and work experience that will lead him down this path?

Because I would also love to run large corporations. But I have a BA in Communications from American University. Reality is that I won’t be at the helm of Google anytime soon.

Even if you are an Ivy grad with a Harvard MBA, the odds are still small that you will run a large company or major parts of it. You have to be in the right place at the right time and have the right people boosting you. And a corporate spouse type helps.

Is op’s guy at least a consultant ready to go in-house to a client? Mckinsey, bcg etc have amazing job boards for life. And once you start working any PE backed companies you can hitch up with sponsors for their portfolio company roles. Not an easy ride but can write lucrative contracts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he actually on track to do this with his career? Does he have an MBA or something and work experience that will lead him down this path?

Because I would also love to run large corporations. But I have a BA in Communications from American University. Reality is that I won’t be at the helm of Google anytime soon.

Even if you are an Ivy grad with a Harvard MBA, the odds are still small that you will run a large company or major parts of it. You have to be in the right place at the right time and have the right people boosting you. And a corporate spouse type helps.

Is op’s guy at least a consultant ready to go in-house to a client? Mckinsey, bcg etc have amazing job boards for life. And once you start working any PE backed companies you can hitch up with sponsors for their portfolio company roles. Not an easy ride but can write lucrative contracts.

PE backed tech company leader here who came from big consulting and it’s all a stressful existence. I’ll probably do something else soon.

[Anonymous]

The only thing you know for sure is that he has a big ego. The odds of reaching that goal are about as slim as winning the lottery. You have to be a narcissist or have a complete lack of awareness to say this on a second or third date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here who works for ambitious men. My DH is also pretty ambitious and outgoing.

I joke that my role at home and at work are the same. I’m good at giving advice, taking notes and staying organized, writing speeches and letters, stroking egos, not getting jealous, and having zero desire to be the number one person.

Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he actually on track to do this with his career? Does he have an MBA or something and work experience that will lead him down this path?

Because I would also love to run large corporations. But I have a BA in Communications from American University. Reality is that I won’t be at the helm of Google anytime soon.

NP. Yeah, I’m getting red flag tingles. Is he living in reality? Is his education/training/current job reflective of someone who is on this path in his 30s? Or is he self-aggrandizing or living in la la land (or trying to impress you because he thinks that’s what you’ll be attracted to)? Hopefully this will become more clear in time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean one problem is the reality check. How will he handle it if he isn’t the CEO of a fortune 100 by age 50? And I agree that super driven people can end up prioritizing work in a way that is unhealthy.

I’m a woman in the C suite of a private equity backed company. My peers that are men don’t seem like they spent tons of time with their kids. It is a little hard to tell since their kids are college age plus. But when you have two million miles on one airline, I’m thinking you were not home much. Don’t get me wrong, they all seem to really love their wives and families. But the way they worked and still work seems like they aren’t home much.

+1 The best (romantic) partners have some flexibility and a balanced view of things; it reflects maturity and emotional health. What happens it these goals never come to fruition? It might be a house of cards and a red flag about his mindset and approach to life. But it’s impossible to say without more context or information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is a big talker? Time will tell.

He would know by now if this were going to come to fruition. Does he already make 250k+ and work in a corporation where he's been identified as high potential talent? If not, what's his path?

[Anonymous]

I’m an extremely ambitious woman with the same goals. I don’t think this inhibits me in my capacity to be an attuned, attentive wife and mother. It’s all about time management and priorities!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is a big talker? Time will tell.

He would know by now if this were going to come to fruition. Does he already make 250k+ and work in a corporation where he's been identified as high potential talent? If not, what's his path?

Yup, those people are identified very early, like within a year of getting their MBA and starting. They fit a mold. And for the person who mentioned McKinsey as a launching pad, amazing what doing PowerPoints and being a chameleon to what the client has already decided anyway can be such a career boost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if you want kids, but I nannied for a family where the husband was like this when I was in college and I promised myself I'd never get in a relationship with a guy like that. Sure, he brought in a ton of money, but at the expense of literally EVERYTHING else. The 2 toddlers literally called phones "hi dadas" because they primarily interacted with their dad through the phone. The wife and I were basically the two parents who shared decision making. When he was home before 8/9pm, she would bring him an issue or VERY CLEARLY try to connect with him and he'd 99% of the time suggest throwing money at the money or say he will handle it tomorrow (which would never happen). And the mom was no idiiot- she was a C suite exec at a very well known corporation.

That's so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an extremely ambitious woman with the same goals. I don’t think this inhibits me in my capacity to be an attuned, attentive wife and mother. It’s all about time management and priorities!

I’ll be sexist in my compliment here: as a woman you are able to handle a huge job + relationship + parenting way better than a man.