Will I cause an eating disorder?

[Anonymous]

The label of “clean” eating introduces a morally hierarchy to food. You seem to feel a level of superiority based on your diet, but you seem to realize that. The thing that jumps out at me is not “allowing” certain foods bc they aren’t “clean”. Do you go to ice cream as a family? Try that cool new donut place? Can they order what they want when you’re out to eat? Can they eat everything offered at birthday parties? Of course instilling a love of nutritious foods is good, it completely depends on what the messaging is around the foods you deem unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t buy pop tarts either, OP, but it my kids asked me why I’d say it’s because I don’t like how they taste (which is true — I didn’t grow up eating them and think they taste like cardboard). My kids get dessert every night though: homemade pie or cake, fresh or dried fruit, homemade biscuits with honey, maple sugar candy, etc. You don’t have to compromise on whole food ingredients and minimal processing to have treats and goodies around.

OP here. This is what I do. I don’t make them eat chicken and vegetables every night only. I make lots of stuff that most may think is unhealthy from scratch.

I make things like egg bites, pancakes, waffles, oatmeal, muffins, etc., for breakfast. Lunches and dinners are things like chili, chicken, salmon, pasta, homemade cheeseburger helper, taco soup, stuffed pepper soup, grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup, lasagna, meatloaf, Salisbury steak, etc. I just use fresh and healthy ingredients.

They do get treats like baked cookies, brownies, cake, etc., but that more like a 1-2 times a week thing. I try to make their meals balanced and offer lots of fruits and vegetables with meals.

I suffered from bad stomach issues and pcos until I changed my diet and it helped. I do have PCOS ( there is no cure) but I have been able to get rid of my IBS.

I don’t demonize foods and say certain things are bad. If we eat fast food, I don’t say anything negative about it. We just talk about eating our vegetables and fruits because they’re good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly did give my anxious kid some food issues by praising the benefits of good foods. And we are a family that has a good amount of junk and processed foods and didn’t make negative comments about them. But he became preoccupied with getting “enough” or “the most” fruits and veggies at the expense of having room for higher calorie foods

OP here. This is interesting. How did you go about fixing the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Allow seconds if the child asks for it at the dinner table.

OP here. I don’t restrict calories or foods. They both eat until they’re full. That’s cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know so many moms who keep their kids away from certain stuff. They have big, young kids. Because given the opportunity, the kids WILL grab and eat anything

OP here. I’m not sure what you mean by
“ big”? We don’t focus on weight as
“ healthy”. Both of my kids are tall and skinny but were bigger babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The label of “clean” eating introduces a morally hierarchy to food. You seem to feel a level of superiority based on your diet, but you seem to realize that. The thing that jumps out at me is not “allowing” certain foods bc they aren’t “clean”. Do you go to ice cream as a family? Try that cool new donut place? Can they order what they want when you’re out to eat? Can they eat everything offered at birthday parties? Of course instilling a love of nutritious foods is good, it completely depends on what the messaging is around the foods you deem unhealthy.

OP here. I don’t feel superior based on eating. I just had no nutritional education as a child and I’m passionate about teaching my children about cooking and nutrition. I have several family members who have had bad health issues due to bad eating habits and I really don’t want that for my kids. They already get it through genetics and I want to minimize it as much as I can control.

We do go for ice cream 1-2 times a month. They can order whatever they want when we go out. We don’t restrict junk food at family parties or outings unless they only eat junk. Then we tell them they have to eat something more substantial with their chips, cookies, candy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know so many moms who keep their kids away from certain stuff. They have big, young kids. Because given the opportunity, the kids WILL grab and eat anything

OP here. I’m not sure what you mean by
“ big”? We don’t focus on weight as
“ healthy”. Both of my kids are tall and skinny but were bigger babies.

I wrote this. My 12 and 8yos have abs. They’re just super active. They eat junk, and they eat healthy meals. They have good appetites and palettes. My 6yo is still baby fat chunky.

The ones I’m referring to have childhood obesity, not just baby fat. I’ve seen it 3-5x. Conscious mom, tries to push healthy foods. It works until age 4+. Kid goes nuts and parents can’t get them to enjoy a variety of foods. Usually these kids are spoiled-ish in other ways. They love sugar more than a typical kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t buy pop tarts either, OP, but it my kids asked me why I’d say it’s because I don’t like how they taste (which is true — I didn’t grow up eating them and think they taste like cardboard). My kids get dessert every night though: homemade pie or cake, fresh or dried fruit, homemade biscuits with honey, maple sugar candy, etc. You don’t have to compromise on whole food ingredients and minimal processing to have treats and goodies around.

OP here. This is what I do. I don’t make them eat chicken and vegetables every night only. I make lots of stuff that most may think is unhealthy from scratch.

I make things like egg bites, pancakes, waffles, oatmeal, muffins, etc., for breakfast. Lunches and dinners are things like chili, chicken, salmon, pasta, homemade cheeseburger helper, taco soup, stuffed pepper soup, grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup, lasagna, meatloaf, Salisbury steak, etc. I just use fresh and healthy ingredients.

They do get treats like baked cookies, brownies, cake, etc., but that more like a 1-2 times a week thing. I try to make their meals balanced and offer lots of fruits and vegetables with meals.

I suffered from bad stomach issues and pcos until I changed my diet and it helped. I do have PCOS ( there is no cure) but I have been able to get rid of my IBS.

I don’t demonize foods and say certain things are bad. If we eat fast food, I don’t say anything negative about it. We just talk about eating our vegetables and fruits because they’re good for you.

That sounds fine to me. I think it would also be good to tell your kids about your journey with IBS if they ask for goldfish or pop tarts when you’re grocery shopping. Instead of saying (and thinking) “I don’t allow pop tarts in our house because they’re unhealthy and bad” say (and start trying to think yourself) “pop tarts cause my illness to flare up so if I want a treat I think it’s better for us to make cookies when we get home. When you’re a grownup you can spend your own money on foods you want and find out what foods make your body most healthy.” Pop tarts aren’t shameful, you just don’t want to buy them. I think it’s also key to focus on how different foods are healthy for different people so they don’t go around telling other kids their lunches are bad. Milk is healthy for a lactose tolerant kid but unhealthy for an intolerant one. Some people’s bodies thrive on a vegan diet and it makes other people feel ill and miserable. For a picky kid, literally anything with calories they will voluntarily consume might be healthiest.

[Anonymous]

Do not ever moralize food. No food is ‘bad’ or ‘good.’ So you seriously tell your kids foods are bad and prohibit them?? Don’t do that!! So next year when your oldest is in K and a friend brings Cheetos for lunch, your kid is going to ask him why he is eating food that is bad for him.

I think your homemade meals seem great, but you really need to loosen the reins starting now. If your kid has never had a pop tart ever and is first exposed to them, what do you think he is going to do? Eat the whole box!!

My mom was like you - very restrictive with sweets and generally all food was always homemade. We had wheat pasta way back in the day. No juice ever, the whole 9 years. Both my sister and I developed very bad relationships with food. I got to college and totally pigged out. All the junk food, all the time. I eventually got it out of my system but it took therapy to deal with my controlling mother. My sister went the other way and became extremely controlling over her food. She will only eat healthy food - at restaurants, she asks to hold the potato’s and only steamed veggies and no oil, no salad dressing etc. Way worse than our mother ever was, but she really internalized the idea of some foods being bad. It has really hampered her social life even as an adult in her 40s. No significant other and few friends, who wants to hang out with the food police?

You should check out KidsEatInColor on Instagram. She has a pretty balanced approach about food, and says to never call food bad or good and never judge other people’s food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know so many moms who keep their kids away from certain stuff. They have big, young kids. Because given the opportunity, the kids WILL grab and eat anything

OP here. I’m not sure what you mean by
“ big”? We don’t focus on weight as
“ healthy”. Both of my kids are tall and skinny but were bigger babies.

I wrote this. My 12 and 8yos have abs. They’re just super active. They eat junk, and they eat healthy meals. They have good appetites and palettes. My 6yo is still baby fat chunky.

The ones I’m referring to have childhood obesity, not just baby fat. I’ve seen it 3-5x. Conscious mom, tries to push healthy foods. It works until age 4+. Kid goes nuts and parents can’t get them to enjoy a variety of foods. Usually these kids are spoiled-ish in other ways. They love sugar more than a typical kid.

I’m really sorry to even answer this. I don’t gloat in it. The way we took was kick and/or isn’t even proven to be the best way for a lifetime.
I just think we’re on the right path by providing all sorts of foods.
I think strict limitation at younger ages works to set you up. Little little kids can build a palette. We did that best with our oldest. We got more flexible over time. Our kids have a good relationship with food even if it’s not perfect.
-PP

[Anonymous]

*luck (“kick” must have been autocorrect)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is anecdotal but the kids who binge on snack foods when they come to our house are the ones whose parents make a big deal about how they don't serve anything like that. My BFF restricts candy and her kid hordes it in her bedroom. Our kids are growing up in a world with a lot of different options for food, I prefer to teach that nothing is off limits but there is a time and place for everything.

Why did your therapist friend tell you this? In casual conversation or because of the way you live? If it's the latter there might be something there.

+1 I came to say this also. The only kids who binged snack food at our house were the ones who had parents who restricted snacks/sugar. My DC had a small gumball machine in his room on a shelf (more for show, he ate a gumball maybe once a month). His friend from the "healthy household" snuck into his room while they were supposed to be outside playing and chewed up 50 gumballs and was sick as a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not ever moralize food. No food is ‘bad’ or ‘good.’ So you seriously tell your kids foods are bad and prohibit them?? Don’t do that!! So next year when your oldest is in K and a friend brings Cheetos for lunch, your kid is going to ask him why he is eating food that is bad for him.

I think your homemade meals seem great, but you really need to loosen the reins starting now. If your kid has never had a pop tart ever and is first exposed to them, what do you think he is going to do? Eat the whole box!!

My mom was like you - very restrictive with sweets and generally all food was always homemade. We had wheat pasta way back in the day. No juice ever, the whole 9 years. Both my sister and I developed very bad relationships with food. I got to college and totally pigged out. All the junk food, all the time. I eventually got it out of my system but it took therapy to deal with my controlling mother. My sister went the other way and became extremely controlling over her food. She will only eat healthy food - at restaurants, she asks to hold the potato’s and only steamed veggies and no oil, no salad dressing etc. Way worse than our mother ever was, but she really internalized the idea of some foods being bad. It has really hampered her social life even as an adult in her 40s. No significant other and few friends, who wants to hang out with the food police?

You should check out KidsEatInColor on Instagram. She has a pretty balanced approach about food, and says to never call food bad or good and never judge other people’s food.

OP here. I don’t tell my kids that foods and bad. We just talk about how things are good for our bodies. I’m really into trying to teach them to be independent and learn basic skills. My 3 year old is still hit or miss but my 4.5 year old loves helping me in the kitchen when I cook or bake. He’s curious and asks why we eat certain things, why we grow vegetables and what are they, why we eat animals and plants, etc. I try to be honest and tell him why.

I don’t do wheat pasta. They still eat carbs. We have made homemade pop tarts and pastries. We cook with oils and butter. We do homemade juice like fresh squeezed orange or apple, fresh lemonade, and green juices.

I will check that site out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t buy pop tarts either, OP, but it my kids asked me why I’d say it’s because I don’t like how they taste (which is true — I didn’t grow up eating them and think they taste like cardboard). My kids get dessert every night though: homemade pie or cake, fresh or dried fruit, homemade biscuits with honey, maple sugar candy, etc. You don’t have to compromise on whole food ingredients and minimal processing to have treats and goodies around.

OP here. This is what I do. I don’t make them eat chicken and vegetables every night only. I make lots of stuff that most may think is unhealthy from scratch.

I make things like egg bites, pancakes, waffles, oatmeal, muffins, etc., for breakfast. Lunches and dinners are things like chili, chicken, salmon, pasta, homemade cheeseburger helper, taco soup, stuffed pepper soup, grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup, lasagna, meatloaf, Salisbury steak, etc. I just use fresh and healthy ingredients.

They do get treats like baked cookies, brownies, cake, etc., but that more like a 1-2 times a week thing. I try to make their meals balanced and offer lots of fruits and vegetables with meals.

My family eats like this too. Mostly because it's the cheapest way to eat and we don't make a lot of money. This is how I grew up too. Most everything was made from scratch. I think the key is get your kids involved in cooking. No, I don't think this causes any kind of disorder.

[Anonymous]

My 6th grade daughter brought a donut to school as a treat, and her so called friends said ew, arent you worried you’ll get fat? By the way, she is tiny. She has been facing bullying at school so the donut was a surprise to cheer her up.