
This is not a humble brag but more so a check that I’m not irreparably damaging my children’s relationship with food. As a kid who was mainly raised on fast food, frozen meals, and processed junk food, I knew I wanted different for my kids after I started “ clean” eating in my twenties. Through those years I found a love for cooking and baking from scratch and using whole food ingredients. I don’t follow a strict diet but I do heavily limit processed foods and refined sugars. My husband is the same way. I make almost every meal and baked good from scratch. My two boys are young and we don’t allow them to have any junk food, juice ( unless through a juicer), or fast food except for rare occasions like parties or holidays. We eat out maybe 2-4 times a month and often times that’s still fairly healthy.
I know boys can also be subjected to food issues and ED. We never say anything anything negative about certain foods, but we do boast about healthy foods often. I know my boys will turn into teenagers who will end up eating everything, but I feel it’s our responsibility to teach them about healthy foods and cooking and nourish their bodies as much as possible while we have total control of what they eat. My kids are at a curious age and we talk about how eating certain foods are going to make them healthy and strong. We have a vegetable garden and they have become increasingly interested in it. I also have my kids help out as much as they want in the kitchen. I was talking to a friend recently who is a therapist and she said she is seeing more kids with ED because of a restrictive childhood. This kind of made me pause and question if I’m unintentionally causing harm. |
You do seem a bit over the top. A pop tart won’t kill your kids. Lighten up. |
Hard to get past the humble brag here but I did it.
How young are your kids? At some point you’re going to lose control of what they’re eating everyday. They’ll go to school and there will be holidays and birthday parties - candy, cake, ice cream. Let them eat it. Don’t make them throw away their Halloween candy. They’ll be fine. |
This is anecdotal but the kids who binge on snack foods when they come to our house are the ones whose parents make a big deal about how they don't serve anything like that. My BFF restricts candy and her kid hordes it in her bedroom. Our kids are growing up in a world with a lot of different options for food, I prefer to teach that nothing is off limits but there is a time and place for everything.
Why did your therapist friend tell you this? In casual conversation or because of the way you live? If it's the latter there might be something there. |
OP here. They are 3 and 4.5. This isn’t a humble brag. I’m definitely worried I’m causing harm and I might be too restrictive. While I don’t think pop tarts are healthy or nutritious and won’t allow them, they get treats on occasion and do enjoy Halloween candy in moderation. I know I will have little control and slam it no control as they get older, but I feel it’s important to nourish their bodies with healthy foods and teach them healthy eating is good for them. |
OP here. Causal. We were discussing my niece and how my brother and SIL are trying to handle her body issues and her hiding food. It wasn’t a shot at me. She definitely feeds her kids similar to me but a little more relaxed. |
Just cook what you cook. There is nothing wrong with eating healthy food. You don’t have to serve your kids fast food, just acknowledge that at some point when they are teens they will eat it.
Don’t be like my mom who never allowed chips or sweets or any kind of junk food when I was a teenager. She always negatively commented whenever we drove past a fast food place or an ad came on TV. I ate a lot of junk in secret. |
I don’t buy pop tarts either, OP, but it my kids asked me why I’d say it’s because I don’t like how they taste (which is true — I didn’t grow up eating them and think they taste like cardboard). My kids get dessert every night though: homemade pie or cake, fresh or dried fruit, homemade biscuits with honey, maple sugar candy, etc. You don’t have to compromise on whole food ingredients and minimal processing to have treats and goodies around. |
Here’s you’re not getting - you keep mentioning you won’t allow things. That’s too controlling. Fast forward a few years and your kids are the ones who raid our pantry, have no control and also hoard things. You can teach your kids everything you’re teaching them but still allow the junk. Yes I agree that there’s little nutritional value to a pop tart but I’d never not allow it. In fact I bought a big box bc at the grocery store bc my kids thought they looked amazing. Well none of them liked them and they sat in our pantry until kids like yours came over and gorged. Don’t be so strict - you will make them really want to eat the stuff they haven’t had. Just teach them everything in moderation. You would be shocked at the lack of self control restricted kids end up having. I throw away most of the junk food after it sits in our pantry and no one wants it, but my kids have free rein and can snack on what they want when they want. When we do have friends w/ strict parents over, those kids go nuts. |
I honestly did give my anxious kid some food issues by praising the benefits of good foods. And we are a family that has a good amount of junk and processed foods and didn’t make negative comments about them. But he became preoccupied with getting “enough” or “the most” fruits and veggies at the expense of having room for higher calorie foods |
Allow seconds if the child asks for it at the dinner table. |
Within a few years their eating will be mostly out of your control. I think you are fine to focus on healthy foods and your joy of cooking now. Teach them about growing strong. But don't be so rigid that you make negative comments when they attend a party or something like that. Be happy they have a strong base and be willing to let it slide as they age. |
I know so many moms who keep their kids away from certain stuff. They have big, young kids. Because given the opportunity, the kids WILL grab and eat anything |
Healthy and clean eating imparts morality into food. Our bodies need food, and children need food without judgement. Meaning: teach your kids that bodies need all types of food and that all types of food give us something. That thing might simply be pleasure (like a pop tart). That’s ok.
They are 3 and 4. It’s fine to control it all now. But definitely start checking how often you praise “clean” food and shame “junk food”. Just pay attention to it. And do some reading from actual dietitians, not clean eating social media. Also, consider how you’d feel if your kids had a chips ahoy cookie every night for a week. |
I love having kids like this over to my house because they go BANANAS for the snacks.
You’re doing your kids such a disservice with this level of severity. It might not cause a classic eating disorder but for sure your kids will have no experience with moderation of things that they will be around their entire lives. |