helping them buy a home

[Anonymous]

We plan to help our kids when the time comes. As long as they are working hard (have a job, not blowing money away frivolously), we have the same attitude. Why wait until we are dead (which could easily be when they are 50+) to give them millions. The money will have much more impact now for them and their future family/grandkids/etc. It also helps taxwise to start giving the max (17K/person, so 34K to our kid and 34K to the spouse and once grandkids, 34K/year to each one) yearly to avoid the estate tax maximum when we die.

No plans to purchase them a mansion, but will give enough so they can have a good home in a great school district with a minimal commute to their job(s). Or a good home wherever they want and the ability to pay for private schools for the grandkids if that's what they want.

Knowing school and college will be funded takes a huge burden off of our kids as they start their way in life with their own nuclear family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

+1

If you can afford it, why not. He obviously is frugal and managed to save majority of his income by living at home. He has demonstrated that he is responsible so your $600K means a ton more now than when he's 50+ and you are dead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.

The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.

Of course no body needs that. but the kid could likely easily afford a 600-700K home on their own--put 200K down and take a 500K mortgage. If the parents have the money and the kid is responsible (they have literally saved 95% of their salary for 3 years and lived at home---no 22 yo wants to live at home really), so why make them start with a "starter home" if this is where they want to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.

Nor do they need a <40% LTV. What on earth were you thinking!?

[Anonymous]

My kids are no where near being ready to buy but we've given them money to invest along with money they got from a great grandmother. It's not a huge amount (they probably have about $25K at this point) but by the time they are ready to buy it will hopefully be enough for or at least help with a down payment. Kids are 20, 18 and 14. The 14 year old was not alive when great grandmother died so he has considerably less, but we will make up for it.

[Anonymous]

This is timely because we just bought a second home last week for AC. The house is in our name only, and we have a significantly sub-market lease agreement. If AC manages money well, they will be a homeowner in a few years thanks to rent break. If not, they will at least live in a safer and nicer neighborhood than they could otherwise afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.

The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"

Yes, I am jealous that I can't do that for my kid. But, seriously, 600k to buy first home that is $1 mil? That PP is out of her mind or a troll. I think she was trolling us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.

Nor do they need a <40% LTV. What on earth were you thinking!?

Why does it bother you that the kid would have a LTV <40%?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's one tiny "skin".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.

Nor do they need a <40% LTV. What on earth were you thinking!?

Why does it bother you that the kid would have a LTV <40%?

DP and I think people are missing the kid NEEDS that because of PITI in this interest rate environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.

The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"

Yes, I am jealous that I can't do that for my kid. But, seriously, 600k to buy first home that is $1 mil? That PP is out of her mind or a troll. I think she was trolling us.

Glad you can admit you are jealous.

Not OP. But we will likely do that when our kid(s) reach the point of purchasing a home. And yes if they live in a HCOL area it might be a million dollar place. If you have the money that the kid will get when you die in 30+ years, why wouldn't you help them now? parents giving 600K for a home down payment are likely worth 20-30M+, so the kid has grown up in a much different lifestyle than you imagine. The kid apparently has a job making 75-80k+ already and has manage to save most of it (so they are frugal and not just blowing it on worthless luxury/needless item). Why give them only $80K to find a $400K place and they might want to upgrade in 3-5 years versus just giving them the amount needed to get a good place (likely newer TH in a great area) now?

Now if my kid lived at home and didn't save much at all, then I'd start charging them rent and certainly wouldn't gift them that much. But fact is plenty of rich/UMC kids go on to be appreciative and financial sound members of society even with getting the extras from family. Our thought is that extra $$$ does a lot more for them now than when they are 50+ and we are dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.

The kid lived at home for 3 years post college and saved 95% of his salary---so he lived fairly frugally. That is skin in the game. It shows he's committed to not just blowing all his money on luxury items. He has 240K in savings/emergency fund. Now that he knows he wants to stay in the area (likes his job, etc) he wants to settle down. What parent would not help a responsible kid if they have that much money?

I get it---you are jealous that you can't do that or didn't have that happen. But it doesn't mean the kid does not have "skin in the game"

So, the kid makes around $110k/yr with $400k mortgage and $3000 PITI? $600k gift is the only way he can afford a $1 mil house.
$3000 PITI is pretty tight for $110k salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.

Nor do they need a <40% LTV. What on earth were you thinking!?

1M will get you nothing in the Langley area. DS wants to settle down with someone and have a family in a good area.

[Anonymous]

As a teen my grandmother gave me $10k and said it was not to be spent on anything other than a down payment. I put it in a CD and by the time I was ready to use it it had doubled to $20k which we used. To this day my mother throws it in my husband's face that "you wouldn't have this house without our family money." So if you give this gift be sure to give it without strings attached and don't annoy the future spouse about it.