helping them buy a home

[Anonymous]

I think it will be exceedingly difficult for my kids, now in their 20s, to buy a first home without help. We'll be able to help, and plan to, when the time comes. Why should they wait till we die for money to be passed down if it can be put to use now? This "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps by brown-bagging it -- they will, too" attitude only goes so far when housing prices are this insane, yet I hear those kinds of comments frequently. To me it's delusional. Has anyone's young adult bought a house in the past year? Did you help?

[Anonymous]

Help them. My parents helped me and it meant a massively stable financial situation - led to a massive amount of equity over long term and my ability to freeze housing costs for years.

[Anonymous]

No one is stopping you. If you have enough saved for your retirement and possible long-term care, I don't see why not. Do not underestimate post-retirement/long-term care costs though. The last thing you want, when you are unable to take care of yourself, is to put that burden on your kids.

[Anonymous]

If home ownership and real estate as investment is valuable to you and you want to share that with your children, absolutely HELP THEM.

This is the type of family I was raised in, and my parents and grandparents each gave me a substantial amount of money as a college graduation gift that was dedicated for a down payment. I did not purchase my first home until I was out of grad school, but having that money available + an FDA loan allowed me to buy a house in an appreciating neighborhood even though interest rates were high. I am on my third home now and have been able to move up into a great neighborhood with excellent schools and a reasonable commute because of the equity made possible by that first downpayment gift.

[Anonymous]

People didn’t usually pull themselves up as much as they claim, and it’s often a cover for being unable to help their own kids. So it’s a lie in both directions.

My parents helped with my second house so we could buy before selling to avoid the pressure of a pending deadline. I will always be grateful and I still have my work ethic and job.

[Anonymous]

All the rich people I know had parents (or a trust fund) that helped them buy their first property. I would just make sure that you can help all of your children equitably.

I wish my parents had thought this way but instead choose to hoard their money until death.

[Anonymous]

If you are helping (or helped), how much is meaningful amount? 100K, 200k, 300K?? or more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are helping (or helped), how much is meaningful amount? 100K, 200k, 300K?? or more?

However much you can live without easily. If you can drop $300k and not bat an eye, well go for it. I'd have a discussion about what price range your children can afford without your help and go from there. I had about $40k in help 10 years ago and that was incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the rich people I know had parents (or a trust fund) that helped them buy their first property. I would just make sure that you can help all of your children equitably.

I wish my parents had thought this way but instead choose to hoard their money until death.

+1. My parents aren't wealthy (especially not DCUM wealthy) but they are comfortable and could easily have afforded to help with housing. If I'd been able to get into the housing market just a few years earlier, it would have meant tens of thousands (at least) more in equity, potential to move up, etc. Even if it had been contingent on repayment, it would have been such a huge help since I came out of undergrad and law school (without help from parents on either) with student loans.

If you can afford to help them, please do!

[Anonymous]

If you can do it without compromising your retirement, do it. My parents helped us. We wouldn't be where we are without that help. We worked hard to save a decent down payment, but it just wasn't enough for this area, so my parents gifted us enough to get to 20%. We both work and pay the mortgage and the stability allowed us to have kids at 29 and 31 instead of much later. My dad recently told me (10 years later) he was happy to do it, he had no regrets, and he's glad he's around to see us enjoy the money instead of scraping by for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can do it without compromising your retirement, do it. My parents helped us. We wouldn't be where we are without that help. We worked hard to save a decent down payment, but it just wasn't enough for this area, so my parents gifted us enough to get to 20%. We both work and pay the mortgage and the stability allowed us to have kids at 29 and 31 instead of much later. My dad recently told me (10 years later) he was happy to do it, he had no regrets, and he's glad he's around to see us enjoy the money instead of scraping by for years.

This is us too, almost exactly. We're so grateful for the help, and the financial leg up we got will help us to pass the same along to our child. Our parents on both sides gifted us money for buying our home and they have all been glad to see us using these gifts vs waiting for inheritance. Neither set of parents are particularly wealthy but they are also savvy with their resources and there are no worries about their financial stability later in life.

Buying a house these days isn't at all what it was like when our parents were just starting out together. What a great opportunity that help is for kids lucky enough to get it.

[Anonymous]

DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

That's the right approach? Giving him 600K?? You call that having skin in the game? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the rich people I know had parents (or a trust fund) that helped them buy their first property. I would just make sure that you can help all of your children equitably.

I wish my parents had thought this way but instead choose to hoard their money until death.

+1. My parents aren't wealthy (especially not DCUM wealthy) but they are comfortable and could easily have afforded to help with housing. If I'd been able to get into the housing market just a few years earlier, it would have meant tens of thousands (at least) more in equity, potential to move up, etc. Even if it had been contingent on repayment, it would have been such a huge help since I came out of undergrad and law school (without help from parents on either) with student loans.

If you can afford to help them, please do!

My parents are very comfortable but aren’t gifting money other than to reimburse for trips to see them. They are saving it in case it’s needed for long term care. What if they need 24/7 memory care for each of them for 10 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I want to help DS to purchase his first townhouse, around 1M, but we want DS to have skin in the game. DS has lived at home with us for three years and saved up 95% of his annual salary, after taxes, for the past three years with about 240K in his account. When he officially moved out two months ago, we gave him 600K for his 1M home purchase down payment. IMHO, that is the right approach.

Are you a troll? No one needs a million dollar house as their first home.