Child leaving for college in five days - pain is gut wrenching

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t make this moment about you. It’s about your daughter starting the next phase of her life. Don’t try to outshine her moment.

Yes! It’s her moment to shine. Just be there for her. No tears! She doesn’t need the responsibility of handling your emotions when she has her own to manage. She’s got this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, the cruelty of some people here never ceases to amaze me.

All I can tell you is that you will get through it. Try to keep busy. You’re going to be OK.

I can certainly relate to OP.

But the lead up was harder than the reality. I saw how excited my DD was to be on campus, make new friends, start college....when I drove away I actually felt proud of her and us.

Yes, the house was sort of quiet. And when I would see her favorite foods in the supermarket, I got wistful. But they really do come home often, and for weeks/months. There will be adjustment with that.

I recommend you set up a communication plan, so you are not hurt or worried when she does not call. We agreed upon one call a week, on the day and time of her choosing. Those calls meant so much to me.

And do try to plan some fun things for yourself (or other moms to commiserate with) in the coming weeks.

Hugs!!

[Anonymous]

PS-Though I missed my child. I liked the peace of not planning/being responsible for multiple lives.

When they come home now, it seems hectic and chaotic!

[Anonymous]

Op, it's a bit of bittersweet, isn't it?
I would plan on mini one night trip to visit in a few weeks or a weekend travel if you could not drive!
You will be okay, change is hard sometimes.

[Anonymous]

These are my two selfish reasons for not being a blubbery mess:
1. He is going to a local college.
2. My youngest is still at home.

Big hugs, OP.

[Anonymous]

After she goes have a huge long wailing cry and get it out of your system

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. It is very sad because it is the end of an era, and your nuclear family will never be the same again. I tried really hard to hold it together until after my daughter left for college, and then I had some epic crying sessions. I appreciate that my father did the same for me when I left for college - my younger sibling reported that he cried for the entire two hour plus journey home after my family dropped me off at college, and my mother had to drive. I've tried extra hard in the two years since to develop hobbies, got a new job, and keep myself busy, but still have feelings of deep sadness/nostalgia from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t make this moment about you. It’s about your daughter starting the next phase of her life. Don’t try to outshine her moment.

Yes! It’s her moment to shine. Just be there for her. No tears! She doesn’t need the responsibility of handling your emotions when she has her own to manage. She’s got this!

This! While I was sooo sad to send my kids to school, I was equally (or more) happy and excited for them. Didn’t cry until the ride home from drop off. They come home a lot at least in the early years so it’s really not that bad.

[Anonymous]

This is the price of successfully launching a child. My entire family felt this way the first month. Then it got better.

[Anonymous]

Think of it this way, it would be a lot weirder/worse if your emotions were flat or unconflicted in either direction.

[Anonymous]

We are taking our kid to college in a couple days. My husband and I are so happy to have given our DS the best life we can afford while also raising him as best as we could. Are we sad to see him leave our house? Yes. However, we believe we have given him a sound upbringing. There is no guidebook to raise a baby to adulthood. We did our best to teach him respect, empathy, kindness etc. It's now on him to figure out the world. I wish him luck. I also wish everyone luck sending kids off to college for the first time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, it's a bit of bittersweet, isn't it?
I would plan on mini one night trip to visit in a few weeks or a weekend travel if you could not drive!
You will be okay, change is hard sometimes.

Don’t do this.

[Anonymous]

I think those are pretty common feelings. I'm in the same situation but I feel differently. I am a single parent and after 18 years, I am finally getting a break. I'm tired. And old. Lol. People keep asking me if I feel sad and the answer is "not really." He will be a 20 minute drive away from me but even if he was further away, I'd still feel the same. I won't miss the nagging at all. I am just excited for him and looking forward to having a different relationship from him from now on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Makes me wonder if the mom has a life outside of her daughter.

Makes me wonder what you think could possibly have nearly as much meaning as a close mother -daughter relationship.

Self fulfillment, for both mother and daughter. They can talk everyday too, if the daughter wants to.

[Anonymous]

It's very common, OP. Oprah did a whole show on it. You won't be the only mom smiling through her tears at drop-off.