Any happily married people long to live alone?

[Anonymous]

For the guy above with all the questions about who kills mice and who changes oil, the answer is the exterminator and Autozone. Women could ask the same questions (who would do camp enrollment? Who would notice and buy new shoes?). Bean counting doesn't work. OP's problem isn't dishes, it's lack of respect.

[Anonymous]

I've always felt that anyone who cannot EASILY afford a full-time nanny/house manager and a weekly cleaner should not have kids. And if there are no kids, there's no need for marriage.

Basically, there should be a whole lot more single people out there. But instead, we end up with a ton of OPs out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama OP. Those are normal things come along with having a family/raising kids. What's up with your silly title?

No, this is not normal. A wife and a mother is not a maid.

If I found one empty Doritos pack or a wrapper anywhere besides the trash can, that would be the end of buying any kind of snacks for the next month or two. My kids knew that. Once they were teens and earned money, I told them that any kind of clean up I do due to their messiness comes at my professional billing rate. Very easy when I have access to their savings accounts.

poor kids... terrible mother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too much drama OP. Those are normal things come along with having a family/raising kids. What's up with your silly title?

No, this is not normal. A wife and a mother is not a maid.

If I found one empty Doritos pack or a wrapper anywhere besides the trash can, that would be the end of buying any kind of snacks for the next month or two. My kids knew that. Once they were teens and earned money, I told them that any kind of clean up I do due to their messiness comes at my professional billing rate. Very easy when I have access to their savings accounts.

poor kids... terrible mother

They are doing better than yours, that’s for sure, launched and all.

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. Every year I go for 4-5 days at the beginning and end of summer to open and close our lake house for the season without my kids or DH. It's a huge amount of cleaning and manual labour (replacing boards, painting, etc) but I look forward to it every year because it is perfectly quiet, peaceful, and I am only responsible for myself.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend who lived on a big plot in Northern California - she and her husband had separate houses on the same plot. I thought that sounded pretty nice. And I say that as someone who loves my spouse with all my heart.

[Anonymous]

My husband (neat freak, ocd about it) feels that way to I’m sure. I grew up with a mom like that (near freak, ocd)- all three of us were taught to pick up be neat but I think only 1 of the 3 has standards that high.

I’m not gross. I don’t like a lot of clutter, but I seriously don’t see some of the mess my husband sees. He literally is vacuuming all of the time.

Maybe I have ptsd from growing up with a neat freak parent

We have a weekly house cleaner, but he’ll literally be cleaning even the night before.

[Anonymous]

Nope, my spouse has been gone since Saturday. I don't mind and even like having a few days to fully decompress alone but I'm more than ready for them to get back.

[Anonymous]

It’s summer time so you need a chore chart. Kid A will be on kitchen duty for a week. His job will be to handle the previous night’s mess in the kitchen. If dishes, etc were left out, he can call out the other child to handle their crap. It’s a beautiful day when you hear your child exclaim, “ I just cleaned up this kitchen, who stuff is this?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like my (ex) wife. Living alone is great except for:

who will kill the mice?
who will kill the ants?
who will mow the lawn?
who will unclog the toilet?
who will fix the dryer?
who will unclog the shower?
who will shovel the driveway?
who will change the oil?
who will change the headlight lightbulb?
who will wash the cars?
who will fix the front door lock?
who will spread the pre-emergent?
who will plant the new landscaping?
who will trim the trees?

(I also did all the dishes, most of the cooking, and all of the laundry when I was married--who will do those tasks?)

Maybe your ex wasn’t a woman of substance, but for all of the women who manage just fine on their own and figure out how to do all that stuff and more - or choose to pay someone to do it for them rather than eat shit from a live in man - we are quite capable thank you.

[Anonymous]

There is more to life than a clean house. Once you come to terms with that house anxiety goes away. Messy is one thing. Filthy is another. Think of ways to make your job, their job easier for everyone. Posted notes helped me. I knew people that had homes that looked like museums. You want to LIVE not tiptoe around a perfect house.
To answer your question, yes, I would love a tiny house in the backyard. Not for any particular reason except I need quiet time. I have always been a lone person. I like my aloneness.

[Anonymous]

Living alone and dying alone are similar, in that there’s no one around to give a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like my (ex) wife. Living alone is great except for:

who will kill the mice? Traps
who will kill the ants? Traps
who will mow the lawn? Me or a A service is $30 a pop
who will unclog the toilet? Anyone, drano… do you know how rare it is that a toilet gets clogged only a female living at home?
who will fix the dryer? Buy one that doesn’t break mine never breaks
who will unclog the shower? Drano, this is a woman’s issue because of our hair.
who will shovel the driveway? Me or I’d pay someone
who will change the oil? Mechanic
who will change the headlight lightbulb? Mechanic
who will wash the cars? Me or drive through one, if your alone this is rarely necessary
who will fix the front door lock? A handyman
who will spread the pre-emergent? Nobody, unnecessary
who will plant the new landscaping? Lolz, just stop why are you always landscaping
who will trim the trees? A service I pay $300/yr

(I also did all the dishes, most of the cooking, and all of the laundry when I was married--who will do those tasks?)

I do live alone these seem so petty.

Alone there are so few dishes and cooking is so unnecessary… I grill chicken once a week and it lasts all week. I eat salads, and soup and sandwiches. Yogurt bowls and cottage cheese with fruit.

I don’t need man sized meals.

[Anonymous]

I was married for 25 years and I have now been divorced for 25 years, much of that living alone.

Both lifestyles have their pros and cons. I am currently very much enjoying living alone and have no desire to change that.

When I was raising my kids no one took advantage of me the way OP suggests her family does. You have to let them know what is acceptable and what is not. It's not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like my (ex) wife. Living alone is great except for:

who will kill the mice?
who will kill the ants?
who will mow the lawn?
who will unclog the toilet?
who will fix the dryer?
who will unclog the shower?
who will shovel the driveway?
who will change the oil?
who will change the headlight lightbulb?
who will wash the cars?
who will fix the front door lock?
who will spread the pre-emergent?
who will plant the new landscaping?
who will trim the trees?

(I also did all the dishes, most of the cooking, and all of the laundry when I was married--who will do those tasks?)

Except no one's husband does all this!!!!